Men standing side by side , in a long and endless stride
walking, walking, never stopping, who knows what lies before them.
there souls, marching, reaching the enemy at last, all the men that
have past.
ducking, firing, killing, hurting, the pointless way of war.
never winning, those who live have to fight another day, and those who have not, just lay and lay. never to see the light of day, and what for?
because of there country, carried away in body bags, and some not even that, they just lye there for the nights of swarms of rats, never to be seen again, because war has taken its toll on them
Author notes
Written May 23rd, 2006
A contest entry
- Tragedy Has Struck Again by phsycoawesomeness.
300 points, ended November 4, 2006, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options or NO Options, Can you handle it? by IndividualEleven.
1050 points, ended December 8, 2006, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options from the Heart & Soul by riccadeana.
400 points, ended December 13, 2006, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - reality is a disease by Envelope.
425 points, ended May 30, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes by Beating.
450 points, ended December 14, 2007, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
in this line:
"there souls, marching"
It should be "their souls" instead of "there souls"
In this line:
"because of there country"
Same error, it should be "their" instead of "there"
In this line:
"they just lye there for"
I'm pretty sure it should be "lie" instead of "lye"
Anyway, other than the errors, this is a very well penned piece. I like your critic of war, since I've always been very much against it. Good job! -
Deep
This piece is deep and sad. I liked the way your penned it. Please remember to include read the rules and put the option of choice in your authors comments. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest!! -
Ah ...
War is hell.
Civilians should be kept out
as much as possible .
But what can you do when
they choose to remain in the a.o.
Also the media should be kept out.
I still believe the way Patton did.
Of course I served.
the poem here brought back images.
to me of the war against the British
that earned our freedom from them.
Just wish the Irish could be free.
Ron -
Perhaps
Im not sure which option your going for or if no option, also found a few typos, enjoyed some of the lines, but their were a few commas left out that made it a little hard to read, and i don't know but perhaps we never went to war, would terreorist still be attacking us? i guess there is always another side of the coin. anyways great view, and thanks for entering -
tis awesomenes
trapped and lost in the world of tragedy, wars rage on and on, thanks for writing this poem, and you did an excellent job -
yay!
-
This is the kind of poetry id love to write... truly good... *sigh* haha again I wish i would write like that haha.
.lucinda.
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