Through bough of serpentine hued crescent nights,
A world begins anew -and silence sings by its side
Tell me of a song that grasps beyond mere sights
Or even, prey tell, a lore that doesn't hide.
Moments lost within brilliant measures--
Hence this is a tranquil reverie donned with but a kiss,
Here this mind wanders to places beyond your treasures
Yet, acknowledging the translucent bonnet, worn to reminisce.
Soulfully, words overfill the cup of strife
Where wisdom adheres to Nature's mighty lands-
For now, allow the tender sweep of winds' caressing life
As I, the student, write in honor of Her sweet adoring hands
Of the end, everything befriends simplicity and soundless words
Carried farther than any, and finally, smile to night-time's birds
Author notes
I rightfully admit that it's been a serious long time since I've written a sonnet of any type, therefore, I hope that this is correctly written
Written May 22nd, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Sonnets, sonnets, and more sonnets by RatherImaginative.
1925 points, ended September 8, 2007, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is beautiful, the imagery amazing, but the English sonnet requires that each line have 10 syllable written in iambic pentameter. You'll have lots of time to edit, and as many chances to enter as you wish. Thanks so much for entering my contest!
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Nice but need work
Your rhyme scheme is perfect. The English sonnet is written in iambic pentameter. For my contest, there is no variation. You need to check meter! See rules about editing. Re-read the rules -
Your content outshines any flaws in meter. Rich language choices really add to the tone and visuals of this sonnet. You have done a superb job with images and mood. I enjoyed the reading very much.
My score for this sonnet is an 8 -
I'm going with a 9 on this one, out of a possible 10, since you fixed everything that needed fixing (in my opinion, don't know what the other judges will think.)
Thanks for entering the contest and good luck in your future writing.
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okay and thank you for the corrections too
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Actually, it's pretty good. There are some errors but nothing major. The vocabulary is good, and the meter seems to work for me too. The only reservations I have are minor things.
Tell me of a song that grasp(s) beyond mere sights
Yet, acknowledges the translucent bonnet worn while in reminisce.
(Yet, acknowledging translucent bonnet, worn to reminisce )
As I, the student, writes in honor of Her sweet adoring hands
(As I, the student, write in honor)
To of the end, everything befriends simplicity and soundless words
(remove "To")
Otherwise, good job.
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