That sickly feeling in the pit
of my stomach and heart
has returned – again,
it must be that time of year.
Like an aching clutch
throttling my gut until
my throat becomes dizzy,
and my mouth leaks.
The stench is violent,
like my memory -
both expelled from my
body.
Pupils dilated with
bloody lines surrounding them.
They remind me of a marble
centrepiece – cold – still,
empty.
My speech is slurred,
but not a drop has passed these lips.
Nothing - but a drop
of my own misery in a
salty liquid form,
and it tastes better blended with
waterproof mascara.
Finger nails blunted in
a last attempt to scratch
the pain away – forever,
cast them away forever.
Then, I’m reminded as
my not so friendly ghost
still visits me with the many
“what ifs” that follows…
I miss a part of myself
the part I let go in a brutal
attempt to keep my innocence,
and freedom.
I miss the smile from my
nightmares -
creating a putrid feeling
in the pit of my stomach
and heart.
It must be that time of year.
Author notes
Interpret how you will, I know what this means to me.
Hope this is ok for the contest!
Written May 22nd, 2006
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Very nice write! i really enjoyed this piece. thank you for sharing, and thank you for reading me as well
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I also interpreted this as being the memory of having an abortion- hence the what if's. It's filled with regret, and as such, with this interpretation is very sad. It's a powerful write, shedding light on a not so spoken about issue. Well done and good luck. xxx
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I can relate to this a lot. I was raped a long time ago. I've let it go by now but for years I was this way. Just know that it takes time dear.
I loved your form. You did very well with it. You word usage is minimal but okay--there's always room for improvement. ONE thing that I couldn't stand was the use of "and" at the very beginning. It just makes you feel like you are missing a part of the story--as you are--but you never want your reader to feel that. You don't want them to START with a loss but to leave with gain--and we did but the and really doesn't belong. I love this poem though. Very nice poem
keep writing!
Mech
ps --if you do happen to return a comment please read my (very short) story "subject to change" that I wrote very very recently. -
I am brand-spankin' new here, and my first comment (oh, lucky you) belongs to you! What a powerful piece! I, also, did not know what the topic was until reading your last comments, but now that I do, it makes even more sense. Very sad, and good use of blunt imagery. I liked it.
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You have some amazing images here. Sadly for me though, I did not know what it was about until I read the comments from others. I ws trying to understand what the baby image had to do with the poem. I think that if I'd had the experience, I would have caught on. Now that I know, I hope you will one day find peace.
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Well, I interpeted it as being of someone who had an abortion. And I think, taking it like that, you have a very powerful piece that really shows the bad part about such and act. I think this is good to be out here.
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This is wondiful. I am sorry for what ever happened to you. I hope you can make it through it.
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Thanks, but this poem isn't for the "what if" part of the contest, it's just for the title part(read the title instructions you'll understand). That "what if" part just got in there by coincidence, to be honest I didn't even realise it was another part of the contest when I wrote this... Thanks for the comment, glad you liked it!!
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Very nicely written, and yet, grotesque in an odd way. Great imagery and use of adjectives as well. Although I realize the contest is 'what if', it may be better if you are more subtle with the direction of your poem, rather than saying it outright. But I will leave that completely up to the author.
You did a good job of instilling a question in the reader with, 'It must be that time of year.', making me go, what time of year? Hence my idea of a more subtle 'what if'. 'Salty liquid form, And it tastes better blended with Waterproof mascara.' I loved this, wonderfully put. Keep up the beautiful work and best of luck in the contest!
-Skye
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well written and great expression you've done a great job on this poem for this contest Good Luck to you...
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