There you are, sitting across from me, and I hear you say,
“I’m fun!” and I silently agree,
then you add, “I have scars all over my body from cutting…”
I am fascinated, concerned, I've never felt like this before.
You may be just what this nice guy needs.
“I’m nice!” I hear you say, and again I agree,
then “I threatened to blow up the entire school with a bomb and kill everyone in it…”
and I am suddenly shocked out of my sleepy, boring existence…
Could it be possible, you need what I sense you need?
You may be just what this nice guy needs.
“I’m caring!” and I see it in your eyes every day,
then you say, “I knew it! I'm surrounded by assholes!”
I must say, you add a lot of spice to this boy’s bland diet...
You may be just what this nice guy needs.
“I’m flirty!” and I cringe, as I don’t want to be in the spotlight,
anyone’s spotlight! But then, I somehow desire yours,
then you say “I have depression…”
and the spotlight dims, you pull me in…
You may be just what this nice guy needs.
“I’m funny!” and I laugh, I guess that proves your point,
then later- “I want to die…”
My heart is ripped out, I thought I hid my feelings well.
You may be just what this nice guy needs.
“I’m trustworthy!”
then later- “life screws us all!”
You're the danger, adventure, 'out there' where I've never been...
in my life there has been something missing,
and you may be just what this nice guy needs.
“I’m outgoing!” You say, but for me that is intimidating, yet awesome,
then later- “Life sucks major @$$…”
Just when I think I've figured you out, something new.
I thought I could figure out anything.
You may be just what this nice guy needs.
“I’m fun to be with!” and I dream of us together,
happy, having fun, laughing,
then later- “I now have to see three counselors and a psychiatrist…”
and I think about my life, which is oh so dull.
You may be just what this nice guy needs.
"I'm fat, I'm ugly, nobody will ever love me."
I am too shy to speak up to disagree. Now is the time...
"Guess what?" and I finally spill it out.
"You may be just what this nice guy needs...!"
Author notes
in response to a poetry niece of mine... happy reading, oh poetry niece! -a poem from all the quiet nice guys out there, and the girls who are a bit on the wild side, that seem to bring them out of their shells...
this is hot off the press, let me know of any glitches!
OK, good feedback, thanks to all... I think this one is 'done' now... let's see... featuring it again for more feedback...
nope! lol
and finally, a sidenote- I'm speaking from experience- this is a very close description of my marriage- now going on 20 years...!
Written May 21st, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 71 of 71
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Omg I so just reran across this Poem by going to random and I actually remember when you wrote this and I commented on it waay back when you first wrote it but i had to comment again to say i love this and I know where this came from...=] great poem =]
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thanks, I only had a vague sense of what you were going through back then, but that was enough for a response...
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This is the most interesting and original poem I have ever read on this site!
Renelle <3s it!
-Reni
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This is a very clever poem, and highly enjoyable to read. You have a lot of funny and interesting conflicting statements here. I especially like the one about blowing up the entire school. It's funny how opposites so often attract; I've exprerienced it too. Great Writing! ~Charles~
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Hi, without your author's notes this could have been interpreted in a much darker way,lol, very interesting write, very different,liked it a lot, all the best,Di
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I LOVE THIS POEM!!! I can totally see the girl... I know girls like this!!!!! AWESOME WRITE!
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thanks, Gothic... maybe I should somehow mention that the girl in the piece is bipolar, thus the swings in mood!
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This is so very deep! I had to re-cap after reading it before I could understand it, as it is a little confusing.
The thing that stands out mainly is the form, it is somehow different from other poems of this style or genre.
And I like the use of the repeated line.
However, I am not a particularly huge fan of the piece... a little long for my taste. But still, pretty good.
Hope to hear more from you in the future
*The Gothic Vampyr*
XxX
(Heheh, sorry for the kind of mixed up comment... i couldn't really make up my mind!) -
thought provoking and expertly written
The poem in itself is wonderful, the message is conveyed quite well, I saw myself throughtoutt he whole thing, being the ex-quiet guy who was opend up byt the "perfect girl" but reading back over this almost makes me think that I wish I could go back to the days of innoscense, back before I knew about the horrors of massochism, dperession and what not. Your peom is excelent, but I do think that it deserves to have the other half shown, sure in your case it worked out, you got lukcy but 99% of the time. It dosent. I guess yo could make that point with any relationship, but its those "perfect girls" who walk all over the "nice guys" and teach us that love isnt all its cracked up to be. Then then in our confusion we becoem assholes ourself and the cycles just continues....love isnt all its cracked up to be... -
I love this...without a doubt this is one piece of writing that I could read a thousand times. I've read a lot of poetry on this sight and else where, but this really grabbed me and made me go.."AWESOME"...Because the girl you described reminded me quite a bit of myself...I wild child who has her high points, yet all of them are accompanied by some negatives. Thank you, for writing such a unique piece, we need more writers like you in the poetry world!
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My goodness!
That was just so much back and forth that I could hardly keep up. Like a game of tennis that you're watching and the ball just goes back and forth, and back and forth and you get a little dizzy. I mean you want to watch but your brains start to go! 
That's how this was making me feel. I was a little confused though, it seemed so dramatic but you seem so calm about it all, as if none of it surprised you. I guess I think that I would be pretty surprised myself if it were me! You must be very mellow! But I think that you did a good job of expressing yourself. So thanks for featuring your work so that we all had a chance to share your words and feelings with you. 
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Brilliant
Fantastic poem there.And a good and excellent poem there.You are writing very well. And best of luck for you forthcoming poems.Don't losethis smooth writing
Slight regards,
Venkat 'rose"rose ' (edit?) -
brilliant
like the repetition throughout nicely done.Brilliant imagery your words have put into my head. Made me smile which is good for this time of day. Got a great flow and feel with some deep profound thoughts..... now what else could the reader want in a poem.This subject is real for many and for some we are trapped within boundaries which we really should blow out of the water. Well penned as you do
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You have quite the unique train of thought, insight, and sense of humor.
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now THAT was a mouthful, my poetry niece! and thank you very, very much...!
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OMG i love this it is really amazing and such a great write you are a great writer and this is a great write i love this more then words can ever describe welli think you know why i love this sooooooooo much i can really relaste to it and it really makes me think but i dunno if i can ever like another poem as much as this one it's one of the best i've ever read and you are a amazing writer you are one of the very few writers on here that actually make me think instead of makin my emotions run wild i love love love love this more then cookiez and milk lol this is brilliant and it really inspires young teens to think better bout themselves becuz there is always that one guy out there that will love them no matter what they look like or dress like ya know what i me thanx for sharing this with all of us here and thanx for writing this it is treuly amazing love ya lot poetry uncle
love ya poetry niece,
~~**)__BeCcA__(**~~
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YES! 'that' I sense what you need... (really wrestling with this poem... brain gets tired!) thanks, Schatzi... no! What I sense 'that' you need... ug! lol
Edited on May 21, 7:33 p.m. because ''. -
My goodness but you can paint word images well. This has legs of it's owh to stand on.It might even fly high like a bird in the sky. And it does go round in circles too.~~Suseann
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Original
Totally freaked out over this one, quite a bit different from the same~o same~oh. I think one nice guy is in for quite a wild roller coaster ride ~ some guys really dig that
BTW, 2nd Stanza ~ "Could it be possible, what I sense what you need?" perhaps ~ that I sense what you need? LOL, we all have contrasts, but this chick is WILD!!! Beautiful imagery and wordflow. Wierd and adorable
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wow..a weird poem.
Wish you the best.
Shahrzad
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thanks, Rhymie, I'll take that as a compliment! lol
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That is so weird in a weird way that weirdoed me out. And crazy in a crazy way too. I don't know. It was just too weird. If you wanted weird and crazy, which I'm assuming you did, you achieved your goal BIG TIME!
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Hooyah!
Wow. Somehow, it seems almost as if that was me an my girlfriend. Except with the roles reversed and me being the crazy weird one. This was really good. I can actually say that, yes, I have said/done/whatever some of those things the girl said in the piece. But which ones I won't say unless asked. By the way, who/what is that dude in the background? It seems somewhat familiar. -
thanks, Symphony- all the changes of personality- actual quotes! lol so yes, my mystery niece can be quite an inspiration for nice guys like me...
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interesting! dont think i've read anything along these lines before ..... and you certainly made your point although i did get a little confused over all the changes of personality lol but nice job
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This was different....I really liked it!
Great job!!
debbie
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thanks, wordsmistress! The guy in the background- a version of the Phantom of the Opera! (a nice guy, if you sing well and are stunningly beautiful! lol)
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I THINK THIS POEM IS COOL WITH ME TO CHECK OUT
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very nice...although ur background kinda scares me a little (lol)... ur poem is v. funny, the contradictions and the language just completely sets the mood ...great job!
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I think I know what you're talking about, raven child, and I think partly it's because 'opposites attract'!
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thanks greatly, sis! (Red Red Rose)
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I quite like this. Didn't expect to, but I do. However, I feel it is a bit unfair on all the nice girls who are looking for a nice girl, yet all the screwed up ones end up with the best ones
The structure is good, and I really like the metaphors you use to show what this girl means - such as the spice in your balnd diet.
G xx -
hehehehe! too cute!... i love this man!, it funny and its true... we are all good but the little bit of bad in us makes us better!... good job with this!
sue! -
thanks, 'Am Crazy I'! and with that name, something tells me you are just what a nice guy needs, too! lol
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great job. being a girl, you never really see how it is for the guys, but this illuminates it clearly, just what we need!! keep it up!!
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good poem
this is a really deep poem. i like it. it made me start to think about stuff. life, if my friend needs me. good work. keep it up.
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At the very first this was a bit perplexing to me but as I read on, I realized this is a very positive poem.
You've expressed so well the feeling of being needed, no matter how much or how little, and the feeling of knowing that someone needs us, even briefly and for a single purpose in their lives.
A very compassionate and inspiring poem, Wayne.
Dee
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I really enjoyed this piece. Well written and very original. I love the repetition and I think a lot of people will be able to relate to your words. Well done and keep up the good work.
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I guess im kind of confused but it looks like veryone else got it so its probably me! Why did it say one thing but the then later contradicted the first line... I like the idea and the style though!
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I absolutely loved the descriptions in this and could relate to one of the voices in it.....not saying which one though
(although that probably gave it away!!).
I loved the repetitive theme with what she says, what he says, really creative and original!!
Sounds like the start of aeither a destructive or wonderfully balanced relationship!!
Sarah Louise Hudson
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you are quite right, shadowlurker, it is related to another piece I did on my mystery niece... allpoetry.com/Poem/1731454 but this one takes things a step further, offering hope...
Edited on May 21, 12:55 because ''. -
Yeah.. assholes are many... nice guys are few and far inbetween... don't think I've ever met any face to face but there sure are alot of them here at AP... a few asses (spelling there?!?) as well, lol.
This is a nice poem! I like the ending line of each stanza... it's good! Well written! ~Melissa -
I like this poem but I saw this somewhere before...is something similar to this posted as another poem or on your author page or something? I recognize it....
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This is more interesting than well written, I must say. However I know it is most likely personal which is important so I can't say too much! It's a strange background you picked! But somehow it fits. I do like the color!
amanda -
Can't say I disagree. Nice work.
-Sasha XxX -
A very well written poem, beautifully crafted, nice flow. Good Job!
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Well done. Excellent write. Thanks. I'll have to read more of your work. Larkin
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first off congratulations on 20 years of marriage.. this is really good... I totally undersatand it.. I am that woman of mistery....
Yvonne
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Wow, I love it! Great work, I love the flow of it! Its wonderful! Keep it up!
~Sorrow </3 -
Much better hun xxx
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no, very good feedback, julie- I suspect it was where 'she' was talking or not, so I've italicized her dialog to make it clearer... thanks again!
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This was a good piece as it was really interesting !!!
Although at times I was a little confused (doesn't take a lot to confuse me though)!!lol
Indeed a pleasure to read and liked the picture reminded me of someone I once knew !!lol xxx -
Wow . . . I realli liked the approach that you used int his piece to express yourself. It's unique and interesting . . . it gets into the reader's system and makes them need to read on! Well written! Keep penning . . . keep sharing . . . and much luck to you with any and all future poetic ventures!
Maggie -
Great poem. Very well written.
Kinda states there is someone
for everyone??
Great job.
Thank you for sharing.
Jeannie D
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This was gooD-not boring. It reminds me of my oem "little miss perfect" i liked it. you Did a good job, don't let that loser get you down lol. *claps*
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thanks much, Cassandra... (now that reminds me I have a real-life niece with that name who I haven't said hi to in oh so long...)
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I can relate to this more than I would personally like to admit. I know where you are coming from and where the girl is coming from, all to well. Great write,
{now proken remembering the forgotten memories}
Cassandra -
You know I think she probably needs you too. Great write, it drew me in I thought it would end in tears. Very original take . Thanks.
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Took the words right out of my mouth. It's been a while since I read anything of yours, but, as always, I'm incredibly glad that I did.
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aww cute hehe
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I like the repitition of the last line in the stanzas. It brings each stanza together. I like this poem; it's funny and serious at the same time. I love how the "nice guy" seems to be having his eyes opened to the world around him. I also love how he's desperately falling for this very odd girl who is totally different from anyone he's ever really known. I like how he's uncertain. He can't quite figure her out-it's a powerful lure for him. It's almost a challenge, because he "...thought [he] could figure out anything." Good job!
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hmn...
Inuyasha -
lol OK, (wiping myself off...)
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yes, thanks, I'll try it each way, and probably many others before I leave this one!
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BORING
boooo it was boring and repetitive *throws rotten tomatoes and lettuce at you* -
I like this, it made me think, I REALY like this. Thankyou for posting it, it reminds me of being two faced.
write on!
shadowed -
When you post a poem, you have the option of checking a box that says, "A critical review is invited." More people will leave them if you check the box. It shows up on this page next to "Add a comment".
The main suggestion I have is to cut the repetition of, "You may just be what a nice guy wants." It works for the opening stanza, and again for the last stanza. But using it and the end of each takes away from the impact of what is being said.
Outside of that- the lines could be tightened a little, but most of it is dialogue, so the rhythm will be a little different than most poems because of that.
Hope that helps. -
i liked it very much.... !!
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Critical review box? Hmmm... didn't know about that... I take any response as critical, anyway...! Thanks for the critical feedback, nice to know it isn't perfect yet!
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Wow, very irionic to alot of situations in life.. I tought it was a reat read, and i enjoyed i. I liked how you used the different things to kindof oppose what was said to begin with. This poem shows emotion and motive. Keep in touch! Good job!
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The critical review box wasn't checked, so I don't really know what to say. I like this, it gives a different outlook that is kind of refreshing. A view from a nice guy's perspective. It needs some work, but not very much. You've written a good piece.
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