You reach for the stars,
As they stray from the sky.
Falling deep,
You're hypnotized.
You're blacked secrets,
Destroy the soul.
Leaving you breathless,
Haunted and cold.
Like babies you crawl,
With howling cries.
As puppet strings,
Tear out your eyes.
Trapped in a nightmare,
Away from reality.
Trapped in a curse,
Of modern humanity.
You're running from someone,
[Running from yourself]
To escape the land of the living,
[Escape from yourself].
Happiness is dead,
Your heart won't beat
You've never loved,
Never felt that heat.
You chose this life,
Now you're locked away.
Your prisons guarded,
Throughout the day,
When the night seeps in,
The demons play.
Until you're just another toy,
To be thrown away.
Trapped in a nightmare,
Away from reality.
Trapped in a curse,
Of modern humanity.
You're running from someone,
[Running from yourself]
To escape the land of the living,
[Escape from yourself].
The silence is inside;
It's screaming.
The darkness holds you;
Teasing.
There's nowhere to hide;
They're hunting.
Can't break through;
Cause you're still running.
Trapped in a nightmare,
Away from reality.
Trapped in a curse,
Of modern humanity.
You're running from someone,
[Running from yourself]
To escape the land of the living,
[Escape from yourself].
Author notes
Please critique!
Written January 25th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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Hmmm, this is really sad... A complex write that flows well, the tetrameter of it reminded me of tears flowing down a face...
'You're hypnotized.
You're blacked secrets,
Destroy the soul.
Leaving you breathless,' I thought this flowed really well, and gave some powerfully dark and sad imagery.
I liked this verse too, and the use of colons and semi-colons in it
'The silence is inside;
It's screaming. <<< really emphasised, like a punch.
The darkness holds you;
Teasing. <<< clever personification
There's nowhere to hide;
They're hunting.
Can't break through;
Cause you're still running.' <<, great, jolting end.
Well done!! xx

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