so much tension inside
feel like i need to break
going to explode
so full of hate
knowing what i need
to get a little peace
going to break a promise
just to get relief
searching for the answer
digging for my cure
looking for the something
to let my feelings pour
finding what i wanted
i hold it in my hand
i place the razor on my skin
and hope they'll understand
Author notes
Written May 20th, 2006
A contest entry
- Controlled Vomiting: Can you puke beautifully? by onerios13.
1400 points, ended August 17, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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This poem, although emotional, is a little too full of cliche for my tastes. There's reallyno imagery here... just an outpouring of verbal emotion, which is sometimes a problem I see with rhyming poetry. But lines like pouring emotions, going to explode are all very emo and a little over-the-top. The "vomit" of this contest is something deeper than that. This sounds more like whining that it does strong and true emotion. Thanks for entering, but it doesn't quite fit the parameters of the contest.
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Fantastic
This has wonderful meter and flow. I understand the message all too well. I have been a cutter for 24 years and you describe the feelings perfectly. Great job and good luck in the contest. -
yeah...its supposed to feel that way....the story isnt finished...u gotta think...did they understand?....its up to the reader.....muhahahaha....thanks for the comment....my info is in my profile if ya need it
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I feel like this a lot. Cutting is so hard to live with, and try and stop. Most people see cutters in a bad way, making fun of them, instead of helping them.
Anyway, I could relate well to this piece, but it seems unfinished. I dunno, just a thought. Other than that though, i love it.
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