You
stated
"I could die
tomorrow" and
how dare you; the very next day you did.
Now, years of two and one half have taken,
moments of my
existence
killing
me.
Author notes
Double Tetractys
Double Tetractys: 1, 2, 3, 4, 10, 10, 4, 3, 2, 1
This is a true poem of my husband.......
Our last conversation, he stated, I could die tomorrow....
He did, on Christmas Eve 2003.
I am just now dealing with the tragedy.
One day at a time.
Written May 20th, 2006
This is certainly one of those memories that will live and haunt for a lifetime..
In a list
A contest entry
- Form Contest with MANY to choose from by itllnever.
300 points, ended May 21, 2006, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Highlight of 2006 by grannyeri.
450 points, ended January 1, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Form Poetry --- II by rinzurajan.
700 points, ended November 1, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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oh my...that might have been difficult coping up and writing this...
good luck
-
I really like the form here.
'moments of my
existence
killing
me. '
This is wonderful..sad but a great write.
thanks so much for entering, good luck. -
I love using this form and you have done an awesome job in using it in this poem. Such a trajic situation you write about here. Thanks for entering this contest with this well written poem. Hope 2007 is a good year for writing. Happy New year.
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Thank you so much mariananda.........
Your warm comment is much appreciated.......To tell you the truth, I was a little shocked but pleasantly so by the win.
I have found so many times that the ones that are the truest to my heart are the ones written within minutes and the ones that usually win. I do not do editing so to speak because I feel that when I write, I wrote it that way for a reason.
Anyway, now that I have rambled off the point.....thank you, truly for your kind words.....I lookd forward to reading your works.......
Leance
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dear leance,
I was actually speechless when I first read your poem a few hours ago.
now, I may use some words to heartly congratulate you on your gold-win, a much merited price.
I am happy to have discovered your poetry which will certainly inspire and delight me a lot.
much love,
marion -
Oh
my dear
John, you make
me want to cry
your words of kindess and beauty always
are such a pleasure for my eyes to rest
upon as i weep
silently
from your
gifts
Thank you dear sweet John....I always appreciate your honest and kind words enhancing the ones I have written.......
Also know my friend that you are loved as well......
Leance
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Dear Leance,
Time will heal your pain. The Universe has a law - what you are looking at, grows! Try to focus on all the good times you and he shared, try to believe it was for his best that God called him Home...I am sure that will eventually make you feel the pain much less. BTW, love the new title!
Charishma
-
but
you grow
through the pain
experienced,
making you more able to give your love
to those left or coming to your life now
and so you are
amazing
in your
life!
leance, you know I feel your loss, and wish you didn't have to experience it, but I cherish the wonderful spirit you have become through it! you are an amazing woman, a miraculous vision of hope and inspiration for me, and for the many others in your life! May your pain be lessened by the knowledge of your positive influence in your loved ones' lives, and by the assurance that you are loved! (I like this form too!--great way to express yourself!) much love and many blessings, John -
Thank you itllnever........
The beauty of sadness.......when poetry is truthfully sad....
it somehow has it's own beauty.......
Thanks againg.......
Leance
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Thank you poetmasterspirit.........
I never thought that the pain would still be within me just as strong as it was 2 years ago......I have resolved myself to the simple fact that it will never lessen. I have been pondering the title but have not satisfied my wonder as of yet. I already have titled, And He Said To Me......That would fit here but I won't change the other one as it has to do with the same story. I was thinking something such as.....
Moments Of Tomorrow......
Thanks for reading and commenting.........
Leance
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((((HUGS))) I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how this must hurt you and how much you miss him. All parting in life is so very sad and spills the tears from our eyes, but take comfort in the fact that your husband is now under God' wing and in a beautiful place where angels shall sing sweet songs to him and where there are no worries, just joy. Your tetrctys are powerful and this is the very first of this form that I have read. Perhaps I will try writing one too soon. You have the syllable count and number of lines down pat. I believe you are a Queen at this form because you've so well expressed a complete thought in 20 syllables and delivered the same emotional impact to your reader as you must feel day in and day out. L5 is my most favourite line here. I only feel that you could give this a better title..it seems a little incomplete as of now...maybe 'Moments of remembrance'?
All the best in the contest,
Charishma
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Thank you for your entry. This is sad but oh so lovely a write.
Great imagery and sentiments. Good luck in the contest. Keep the pen to the paper.
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