Your form is undeniably perfect
point so thin, sharp to Peirce anything
diamonds should fear you, in all their glory
never-ending shape throws my eyes around
geometric
Are you God?
Author notes
(option 1)
I have revised this, considering this is one of my older poems and needed it, and hopefully this works much better now.
A contest entry
- When Superheroes Fail by Night Phoenix.
875 points, ended February 25, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-writes Welcome ~ Free Verse Only Please by LadyUnique.
300 points, ended January 9, 2007, 80 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Melodramatic Shame by Xakward--silenceX.
700 points, ended March 12, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
The ending is excellent, as is the wordchoice. It's short, simple and to the point and that works very well for it. It's a little skippy but in a good and probably intentional way. Great job with this, I really like it a lot. I wish you luck in my contest, and thank-you muchly for entering.
-
Option number please!
Otherwise, this is great, I like the way it's done. Very original, and like Amber said... I can imagine someone, wide-eyed, whispering "Are you God?"
Thanks for the entry
-
Option two, I presume, though I wish you had said it in the author's comments....
Sadly, I can honestly see somebody looking at a button and asking: are you God?
The flow is a bit broken... and the paradox you use of being sharp is interesting, to say the least....
"diamonds should almost fear you" - try to be more confident. Diamonds SHOULD fear. Or diamonds ALMOST fear. It doesn't sound right otherwise....awkward, y'know?
Best of luck in our contest!
Adding your comment:
