To try, to live
what if he fails?
he closes his eyes and wills the wind
to fill his destiny's sails.
He stands again, with open eyes
and stretches angel wings so high
his will is back, and confidence
prepares his soul to catch the light.
The battle roar, the trumpet blare
he turns around to lead
his celestial army breathes a prayer
hypocritically, but hope they succeed.
They're fighting the world
they might be free
but failing will bring a fate
worse than death for eternity.
They fight the iron scepter
holding dominion over them
if they lose, it's everything
and everything if they win.
The timelessly bitter defeat
and tragically classic end
the beaten rebel leader
destroyed once again.
He tried and now he knows he failed
and so, he must fall
Maybe it would have better
if he had never tried at all.
Hard-lost victory wounds
seem to silently sob
as he falls forever,
never to stop.
He's been scornfully cast down
and maliciously cast away
as if to tell him that he
never again will see the light of day.
Crippled and twisted, broken wings
will bear this angel no more
the air stinging his tear-streaked face
before he crashes to the floor.
Broken sword bloodrusted beside
as he thinks to himself with regret
of everything that never was
and that he can never forget.
Gazing up from unholy dust
wondering again and again
what went wrong, so wrong that day
when there was battle in Heaven.
Author notes
Written May 19th, 2006
A contest entry
- Want some points? Philosophy, God, whatever you want... by magneticblue.
1400 points, ended July 24, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Twist by Dark Prince Chaos.
500 points, ended August 14, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Once Upon a Midnight, Cold and Dreary... by Carpe Noctem.
400 points, ended March 16, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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great write i see great talent in it i loved the read it intreeged me great work and good luck in my contest -bows- (^)
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It took me a few lines to get into the rhythm, though it was decent when I did. The flow is a bit lacking, but he content is very interesting. Poems about the downfall of lucifer always have the potential to be captivating, and this one is no exception. Though I can't agree that he'll have any regret in his downfall, your words are clear and there is a depth to this piece that is enjoyable to read. Thank you for entering and good luck.
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This is an excellent and highly vivid poem. Your wording flows well, with very skillful rhymes and an even rhythm. You tell a powerful and yet sensitive tale about perhaps the most mysterious part of my religion; the war in Heaven. Your imagery was deeply vivid and I could picture it all clearly in my mind. Wonderful Writing! ~Charles~
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This is a great turn on the allways onsided tale. Loved the imagery and presentationof our fallen hero.... This should get you some comments quick. Though whether they will be constructive is another matter. There is a great book called "Wicked" in which the tale of the Wizard of oz is told from the vantage point of the Sicked witch. How she shes this person come form nowhere, kill her sister and so on.
I Found your poem to have the same cleverness of looking at everything with an open mind able to see there is always more to any story.
well done.
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Strong use of imagery here. Great passion and fire displayed here. Well written. Rhyme and meter flowed well.
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very nice write. it is exciting to see people questioning Faith and religion. Be careful in what you surround yourself with. Even the abstract have a way of manifesting themselves in our lives in ways that we sometimes wish they hadn't. Very powerful writing. Thanks for the intriguing philosophy. Peace always in all ways!
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Nice write here, lots of desriptive vocabulary, and constant flow of events, it isn't confusing for the reader to follow. Well scripted
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very interesting... theres obviously a lot of passion in here and very good visual elements
Good write and God Bless
Poet of Dreams -
wow makes me wanna write a spiritual suicide note haha jk its was good keep writing and who gives a flying fuck what anyone says punk rock
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heaven
will we ever make it
or does the battle for ever rage for our sake?
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