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Man Whistles (Haiku)

man whistles
he strides, sprigs ceding ---
crumpled forest

Author notes


Written May 19th, 2006

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Barefoot silver member
    May 21, 2006
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    well done on a such a vivid haiku. leaving room for the reader to interpret and create the rest of the story in their head. well done and good luck in the contest.


  • Dreamy Green Eyes
    May 20, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Nice job!

    man whistles
    he strides, sprigs ceding ---
    crumpled forest

    Good use of imagery... This is a very interesting haiku! Thanks for sharing your wonderful talent! Best of luck in the contest! Debi


  • Sai Babas Lotus
    May 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Ah, so he knocks off the forest while whistling a tune Nice imagery here. Also, the break is correct at the right place.
    Nicely laid out haiku with L2 being the longest.

    Goodluck,
    Charishma