The darkness sets in,
Bringing out the shining stars
That light up the sky.
Author notes
Written May 18th, 2006
A contest entry
- Haiku Contest (Results being corrected-- This contest is closed. ) by Dreamy Green Eyes.
300 points, ended May 27, 2006, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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SETH!!!!! HOW COME YOUR NEVER ONLINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!it makes me sad, Im like never gonna get to see you ever again, unless you go to Roberts football games, becuase hes forcing me to go,lol. I guess i have to be the cheerleader.UGH!!!! and i hate football, now baseball, Sure i love it, but so far i got to go to his games, and wrestling if he still does it and Nate and Kyles football games and Tom's baseball games if he makes the team, im going to be so freakin busy!!!!!
XOXO
Kara
P.S.
WRITE ANOTHER POEM!!! -
GOSH I MISS YOU!!! I HAVENT TALKED TO YOU IN FOREVER!!! but then again, ur never online, and i dont really want to call ur house.lol.but sadly, im leaving again, actually im leaving tomorrow, to got to Texas for like ten days. So i guess ill have to talk to u after that. or maybe during if my dad brings his laptop!lolz. i guess ill talk to u later. POST ANOTHER POEM THAT IS JUST AS GOOD< OR EVEN BETTER THAN THIS ONE!!!!
XOXO
OnlyInMyDreams -
Great
Finally I can see a poem! Took you like what, only a month?
ANyways, nice poem, I'm glad I remembered to look on here to see if you had written anything. I hope you continue to write, it's the best thing for yah when you need an outlet.
*God Bless*
Sarah -
Hey Seth, now im gonna bug u about writing ANOTHER poem! even though this one is really good but im still gonna keep bugging u cause thats my job
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A very nice setting for the stars to come out and show themselves. you set the stage very well in this. well done.
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Well,thanks for the help Tim.I'll fix that right away
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Awesome work, Seth! Took you long enough to post something on here
First off, something critical on your poem - in the second line you have an unneeded comma. That ruins the flow and to be grammatically correct you need to take out that comma. But other then that, I really liked it! Keep up the great writing! 
--Tim -
Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, Seth you put the poem back on (after taking it off).sry I didn't get around to this sooner, but sdaly this week I haven't been on the computer this much. Very lovely poem, Sweetie. Continue writing more, so we all have more to read. I love YOu!!!! See you latter tonight. BYe!
Love,
~Amanda -
I'm very glad you liked it.
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Thanks for the tip Jo, but i think ill leave it as is.
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Beautiful!
This is a very well written haiku! I love your description in this piece! Thanks for sharing your wonderful talent! Best wishes in the contest!
Debi
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it's a pretty scene described by your haiku, but keeping within the "treasure" context, I think a different way of describing the stars other than typical "shining" might be if the second line were changed to read something like "bringing out the star-jewels." this still keeps to the 7-syllable count if you prefer to maintain the 5/7/5.
only a suggestion for you to accept or reject, and best wishes to you in the contest.
Jo -
Well Kara, I'm glad you still like it.
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Thanks for the comment Carrie.
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Hey, i commented the last time u posted this so,grr! but dont worry i still think its good!
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FINALLY!!! You posted this before and then deleted it, so I'm glad that I can finally read it!!! And let me say that this is pretty good. I really don't think you need the comma after stars, but other than that, fabulous! Keep up the great work, Seth!
Iridescent
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