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Orange, Red, Yellow (Haiku)



orange, red, yellow~

the aroma of fresh fruit

follows street vendor



Author notes


Written May 18th, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Haiku-bless-you silver member
    May 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    good suggestion

    Kitesen, I like your suggestion, I will edit it after the contest. I appreciate your constructive remarks. Thank you
    Dennis


  • Kitesen
    May 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Dennis although the counting might be desturbed by Debi's idea. I would make it even worse.
    My suggestion is use "aroma's of fresh fruit" and "follow the street vendor" it gives a better readable less forced line.
    overall sweet haiku
    Edited on May 27, 4:08 p.m. because ''.

  • Haiku-bless-you silver member
    May 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Debi, Thanks for the heads-up on the extra "the". It was an ooops! I appreciate your kind comments. Dennis
    Edited on May 21, 8:39 p.m. because 'spelling'.


  • Dreamy Green Eyes
    May 21, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Great job!

    orange, red, yellow~

    the aroma of the fresh fruit

    follows street vendor


    I like the picture that you have created with your words... you might consider removing "the" before fresh fruit... it is not needed and throws your syllable count off... This is a great haiku... Thanks for sharing your wonderful talent! Best wishes in the contest! Debi