Procrastinator, Procrastinator,
where are you now?
Procrastinator,
why leave me in the woods
until later?
You left a white thumbprint
on my neck as
I felt you curse to lift
me above the city
in scrutiny…
I shook in belief and
misfortune; but squinting -
I saw your stylish heels
pace away; exit,
and I finished my iced tea.
And I finished my iced tea,
as I do everyday, without
a drop being spilt.
Certainly, Procrastinators of
intimidating cities are worth
more than an iced tea lady
of the woods.
Unless it’s completion
of a promise -
then I'll ask your shoe size...
Procrastinator –
almost tempted to devour
the lady in the woods.
But leaving her cowering
from an extinct beast.
Author notes
Needs work I know.
It's just about bullying in society. Especially in the work place/school when bullies who threaten bad deeds never actually go through with their word. And by all means if you have another interpretation go with your instincts.
Written May 18th, 2006
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GREAT JOB
I really liked this poem. You have to "think" about the words as they are given you. Pondering their direction. And I even enjoyed it more the second time after reading your comments! -
It makes you think does'nt it. I liked it. It wasn't boring and I believe I caught the meaning.
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I loved the emotions and the imagry, even if I didn't totally understand it 'til you explained (which, obviously led me to re-read it with my new information
) I liked it better the second time around once I realised what was going on. But even the first time around, as mentioned, the ideas/pictures I got with it was quite good. You're right about 'working on it'. But that's okay ... If you do, tell me, I'd like to read the finished project because it was great before it was even done !
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great job
I think this is a really good work. I agree with Amber above I would not explain the poem I would let others interpret as they see it, for it might have a broader meaning to them. Just my opinion you could take it or not. great job I liked it! -
I am confused to my highest point! but its a very good poem! I you are willing to explain the metaphors, please get back to me!
thanks,
emilie! xx -
I think you have written an excellent poem. There is emotion and your vocabulary is good as is your spelling.
You have asked for a critical review. I really only have one thing to say. Why do you explain what the poem is about? If you have used the right words then your message should be clear. Some people won't see what your on about. Some people will just see what you saw. Others will see something you did not see and still others will see both what you saw and the something extra.
If you feel that you need to explain then you know that your poem needs work. You do not need any one to tell you that.
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