I saw you last night
You were in my nightly "screams"
I was 17 and innocent again
At least I was until you came in to the room
I thought I was alone
But, then you were in front of me
I didn't even have time to cry out
Before your hands were around my neck
I tried to fight, but, that turned you on
My tears just excited you more
You ripped my favorite shirt that night
I was waiting for love
I didn't love you, I barely knew you
We'd only met once or twice before
I thought that you were a nice guy
I was wrong!
You liked it when I screamed in pain
It made you push harder
You even hit me a couple times
To add to your pleasure
It felt like the nightmare lasted forever
As I begged to die
I can still hear you laughing at me
When you were finished
You kissed my forehead, said "thanks"
Then left as I lay there
In a puddle of hurt and tears
I have one question
Do I visit your nightmares
Like you do mine?
Author notes
A/N DenyMyLove
forever
I had a nightmare last night, actually it was a memory while I was sleeping. Have you ever woke up from one of these where you still feel like your living it? I could still feel his hands around my throat.
Written May 16th, 2006
A contest entry
- Rape & Molestation -How Easy It Is To Ruin A Life- by Dead Star--x.
600 points, ended August 3, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me something DARK PW allowed by Elle Kaye.
800 points, ended August 13, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Haunting Me by BlackBloodyRose.
450 points, ended August 31, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Favorite Work by Violent Glass.
650 points, ended June 21, 65 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - got something extra? by silverscent.
700 points, ended August 21, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best by condor.
2600 points, ended August 20, 193 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - D - A - R - K by skilter.
877 points, ended September 13, 101 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 74 of 74
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wow
thank you for entering! -
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Thank you!
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I think this write is teeming with deep and powerful emotion, so if the contest was based on the power of emotion in poetry you would certainly place.
I did however ask for that something extra that I haven't read before or that something that makes me want to read over and over and in all honesty I have to say I've probably heard this story before. I will add though I liked the ending
"Do I visit your nightmares
Like you do mine?"
it's very thought provoking and stays with the reader after the poem.
Thanks for entering,
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Thank you! The other one (Soul's first kiss) may have been more to your liking, but, as I said I deleted the 2nd one that I entered by default. Thank you again for commenting!!!!
~DAWN~
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Wow a very passionate piece. I am sorry to learn that this happened to you and it is wrong what his man did to you for his pleasure. I hope he gets what he deserves in the end.
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Thank you for your comment!!!! It was a long time ago. I've pretty much moved past it, although, sometimes I still re-live it in my night "screams". My hope is that it haunts him as well!!!!
~DAWN~
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i still have these nightmare/memories about my rape as well. it happened 3 yrs ago i was only 13, he was a friend of my sister's. i have one similar to this call ''she doesn't look 13 at all.''
i like to think i'm over this tramatic exerience but it still pops up some nights...
great write, thanx for sharing with me!
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I'm so sorry that this is something that we have in common! I do want you to know that the nightmares come fewetr and farther between as time passes! Hang in there, know you are NOT alone, and if you ever need or want to talk, I will always be here!
~DAWN~
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I have been in this almost exact situation, where the nightmare is so real you wake up and can still feel it. i really, hated this, but not as a poem but as the thought you had to go through this, no one deserves it. as a poem...brav
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Thank you!
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I like the ending of this piece, it shows strength of character along with the resentment, well done. Thank you for entering this contest
just a note to ask you to check that you have followed the rules - I wish you the best of luck when it comes to judging!
Keep writing
Polly
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Too close to home!
I am so sorry you have to endure this. I am sorry this comment won't be long, but I can not type well through tears. While reading this I felt physically sick... like I could feel him over me. I hope that our nightmares do indeed have to sleep with our pain in their memory. May you be blessed my friend and I am always here if you need someone to talk to. I too know how horrible this pain is. I am 20 and I still have nightmares.
Amy
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Thank you so much for commenting!!!! I'm so sorry that it made you cry and hit so close to home!!!! Even though the nightmares are still very much a part of my life, I have a great friend that I'm able to talk to about it and call at any time if needed. It makes it just a bit easier!!!! I hope that you too find someone like that if you haven't already!!!!
~DAWN~
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That final question, even I want to know!:
"Do I visit your nightmares
Like you do mine?"
I sincerely hope we all do; that is visit their nightmares, and seek justice and revenge for all that it's worth!
I'm sorry you went through this nightmare, fortunately,
you are in good company
Best of luck in the contest!
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Thank you!!!! If wishes could become reality then I know that I visit his!!!!
~DAWN~
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I have been in that place before, and it hurts like hell. Still, to this day, those hellish nightmares and memories invade my privacy.
I am sorry you have been through this pain.
Storm -
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Thank you!!!!
~DAWN~
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i just like this i dont know why its a sad story but the poem itself is just amazing welcome to the finalists list good luck
Cure My Tragedy -
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Thank you for entering me in the finalists!!!! And thanks for commenting!
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Very intense. I like this. I'm the other judge of the contest Everything Deserves a chance....I think this is an excellent poem. Good job. You should talk to the hostess about having this to wear it can be put as a preliminary finalist. It's good. Goodluck and thanks for enterin
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Thanks!
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I am sorry these nightmares haunt you, but it's hard to knock these thoughts out of your head, even if you can sometimes. I love the last two lines, so raw and saddening... Them alone just made me wince and want to beat the mother fucker who did this to you. I pray harm comes to him. If you ever need to talk, message me or email me. ♥
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Thank you so much for your comment!!!! I'm to the point that I no longer wish him physical harm, but, I do wish him mental pain! I wish the most horrific nightmares ever imaginable!!!! Thanks again!!!!
~DAWN~
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flashbacks go away in time... they fade... you are strong and a survivor ~ remember that. im sorry that you had that experience, and i respect the strength it took to write about it.
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Thank you very much for commenting!!!!
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your a verry talented writer and im sorry for the bad expreince i know how you feel. execpt mine wasent a friend or any thing mine was my father so if you need to talk my name is rob.
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Thanks!!!! I'm sorry about you having to go through this experience as well! Especially by your father! I know how hard that is as well. This one is about a friend when I was 17, but, if you read some of my older stuff like Innocence Lost, I went through it with my father when I was much younger. Thank you for the offer to talk the same goes for you if you need to!
~DAWN~!
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very good andf good luck in any other contests as well
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Thanks!!!!
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The fact that you made it through this aweful experience just proves how strong a person you are. No one should have to go through what you did. But you have made it this far which speaks wonders. I admire your strength and wish you the best. I'm glad you've found someone to help you through this. Wonderful poem.
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Thanks! And yes, I've found a wonderful friend to help me through!
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good strong ending, it tied everything together.
good luck -
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Thanks!
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Good. A very scary image. If ANYTHING like this happened, I feel for you, I really do.
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Thank you! Yes it's based on my reality, but, I've moved past it. As much as I can, I mean.
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"You ripped my favorite shirt that night"
I don't really know why, but that's my favorite part. That definitely sounds like a scary dream! I hate nightmares;; especially when you wake up suddenly && still feel like you're living it. Good job! Thank you for entering && good luck<33
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Thank you!!!!
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Sweet darling, I am sorry to hear that you had to live this, and then dream about it. I can't say I know what it's like to be raped, but a friend of mine, when she was younger, was molested by her brother. He then killed himself. She now feels that it's her fault.
I have had dreams like this before, or as you decided to call them, 'screams'. And I can understand why. The fear and wen waking, screaming till you can no longer breathe. I normally wake up crying and pleading for them to leave me alone. But what's the difference really? Your last two lines.
Do I visit your nightmares
Like you do mine?
It's a very strong statement and I like how you broke it up into two phrases. I do hope you have learned that the assult was not your fault. Some bastard couldn't help himself.
*Hugs* for you and I hope you do well in the contest. Much love, Ashleigh
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Thank you so much for your wonderful comment!!!! Although I have yet to completly move past it, I have a great friend (a male I consider my hero) that is helping me to move on!!!!
~DAWN~ -
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment!!!! For a long time I asked myself questions like 'How did I provoke it?' or 'Could I have done something different?' but, thanks to my wonderful friend and hero (a male) I'm coming to realize that it just happened and I didn't ask for it. Although it does affect my relationships as in the fact that I am very fearful of men, he is also showing me that all men are not like that. Once again thank you for your comment!!!!
~DAWN~
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Truly tragic. A great write, you really push forth all of the emotion. I like the line "You ripped my favorite shirt that night" showing how even the smallest of details of something so awful can haunt you now. The free form style works well as it gives it more of a dream quality. The last line of the poem really fits it. Thank you very much for your entry.
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Thank you so much for commenting!
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wow. i hope that guy does have you visit his nightmares, and instead you're someone he can't get away from. someone who will sit there and torture his evil soul until the day he dies. kudos to you for sharing this hurtful memory with us. at least here, no one judges you like they do in the real world. kudos again my friend!
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Thank you for commenting and I hope I visit them because I'm older and stronger now. He'd be in a world of pain this time around!
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GEEZE!!!! This is SO completle SAD!!! I am so sorry that happened to you but I can somewhat see feel the same way because that happened to me. But this is so full of pain and hurt and all the emotions that flow through your head. I am glad that you wrote about it to let people know it does happen. GREAT job and good luck in the contest.
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Thank you for commenting!!!! And I am so sorry that it happened to you as well!!!!
Dawn
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damn yo
that gave me chills.
rape is such a fuckin horrible thing! though im sure you know that already.
this piece was really good, you really let your pain out!
the ending hit hard...really sad...
thanks for sharing a piece of you,
take care and good luck in the contest!
xoxo
♥ Lynn
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Thanks!
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WOW
such powerful emotion bled onto a page. If this is, as form your note it seems, to be real, wold you care to join a group of us survivors of abuse? we find that sharing and writing helps the healing process!! Either way, best of luck to you in recovery and in writing. -
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Thanks for the comment and the offer!!!! Right now there is exactly 2 people that I was able to tell anything about this. My boyfriend listened while I got out all the gory details, and my best friend (a guy) is there evbery time I wake up at 3 in the morning and just need to talk about anything until I can go back to sleep! They are the 2 greatest guys that have ever lived!!!! While I thank you for the offer, I'm not ready to talk to anyone else about it. I mean my poetry is about it alot of the time, but, it's different. When I'm able I will take you up on the offer!!!!
~DAWN~
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That jerk probably don't have nightmares but I tell you what he will have... He will have to face the Lord for his deeds! I can't stand guys like that. It happened to me when I was young to, so I really feel the intense emotion and pain in this piece! I hope all is getting better everyday! Be well dear! Best wishes and blessings,
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Thank you!!!! And, yes, writing does help!
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I am so sorry to hear that this was based on experience and I hope it helps to write it down. Very well written, it conjures up the emotions well. Take care. x
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Thanks so much!!!! I just hope that other girls/women know that their is life after rape!!!!
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Hey Dawn,
Thought I would return the favour of your comment. This was truely amazing. The imagery was wonderful, the words carefully picked. Beautifully written about something so awful. I'm sorry you had to go through this, glad it made you stronger and didn't ruin your life. 'You ripped my favorite shirt that night' what an amazing line. Just said it all right there. And, 'You kissed my forehead, said "thanks" Then left as I lay there In a puddle of hurt and tears'. made me want to kill that guy..I can't believe how strong you are. Keep up the wonderful writing, and thank you for recognizing this as a problem and helping other women/girls who have gone through it.
-Skye
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Thank you so much for commenting! It's true.
~Dawn~ -
awsum
woah that was awsum
very dark and sad
is it true
inspired
or made up?
good luck in my contest -
Thanks, Rey!!!! Yeah, some men think that they have the power to take whatever they want. I think that, because of this, is why I don't do casual sex. I have to trust someone enough and put my emotions completly in it!
~Dawn~ -
I hate this! It is power that they seek?! Uncaring bastards!
I for one would much rather be loved! I want my feelings returned to me when I am with someone intimately.
What caveman mentality some men still posess! I am so sorry! I hate this! Not your poem but the feelings invovled with it.
Rey -
Powerful
Damn Hun, this is a powerful piece! You really expressed your hate and disdain well in this write. Your words are strong and I hope they help you heal. I can relate all too well to this and I applaud you for writing about it. It is therapeutic to put your feelings out there but I know it doesn't stop the nightmares from coming. I hope you are well and thanks so much for sharing this!!
Wishing you much happiness~
~*Lori*~ -
Thanks!!!!
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Thank you for commenting!!!! I agree that more people need to be aware of this problem!!!! Alot of women feel that they did something to encourage it, especially if they know the person. Nobody deserves this!!!!
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"You ripped my favorite shirt that night"
That part was great. Showing that underneath it all she's still a teenage girl... amazingly powerful and emotive write. Well done!!
Maria xoxox -
this is such a good poem.. it explains well how rape victems do feel, tommrow we are having the yellow dress come to our school its about dating violance and sexual assault people need 2 be more aware of this problem!
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Thank you!!!! It has made me a stronger person!!!! I do have a few young women here on AP that I have tried to help. It helps them to know that they are not alone and it can be lived through, as it does me!!!!
~Dawn~ -
Well I'd say you can call me...but I don't mess with dogs...(lol)...but seriously....I am sorry that you had to go through that as well...and yes I have experiences that it seems as if I continue to live...but I think alot that I have gone through has made me much stronger than I was...and I believe the same will happen with you...
...this will be a tool for you to minister to young ladies...including here who struggle with sharing these type of things...I will pray for ya always...stay blessed... -
Rick, I'm sorry!!!! I know that not all men are like this!!!! I did warn that it was about rape and that you may not want to read it. But, thank you for commenting!!!!
~Dawn~
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Thank you!!!!
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Jamila, thank you sooooo much for your wonderful comment!!!!
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I hate reading this writing, It makes me ashamed for my gender.
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This is a very powerful piece! It is well written with very clear descriptive thoughts that allow the reader to be drawn into the emotions of the story being told. I can totally relate to the words that you have written. I applaude you for sharing this with others. You are not alone in your thoughts and feelings. Many, have been in similar circumstances and have never been able to talk or write about it. Kudos to you for sharing. There is healing when these things are not left to fester inside. xox
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oh my word Dawn i am sorry you had to endure something such as this, i am so sorry....
that bastard i hope he is in rottening in hell right now!!!!!!!!!
you are indeed a strong woman Dawn
you have been through so much , i thank you for sharing this with us
i know it has to be very hard for you to do opening up like this
but it is a great help to write about it it really does help a lot, i pray for you and i hope you will keep on being the strong intelligent woman you are always are !!!!
peace and love and may god always enlighten your path
jamila
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Thank you! For some reason therapy didn't work for me. I have a friend (male) that makes me feel safe. After one of my nightmares I only have to call him and he calms me down enough to go back to sleep. And I also have a dog, she is a very protective and loyal wolf breed so I know that I am safe with her there! Thank you so much for reading and for commenting!
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I'm sorry you had to go through that, no one should ever have to experience that. It's good that you can get it out through poetry but seeing a therapist is the best way to work through it. The best thing that helped me deal with being raped was my dog, she made me feel safe. I hope you feel safe too and if you ever want to talk, send me a message. Who knows, maybe we could help each other.
Keep on fighting and keep on living,
Elisa
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