Playing your little games
Using careful aim
Stop toying with my mind
Hope is hard to find
Enduring each new day
Down in hell is where I lay
2 much pain
This is what I hate
Hiding behind a mask
Everything's a lie
Even though it's what I dread
Dieing to be dead
Go ahead leave me here
Endings draw ever near
Author notes
This is my first shot at an acrostic. I hope it's not crap. I wrote it because I am pushed to the edge and this is a message that a certain someone needs to hear. My username is pushed2theedge.
Written May 16th, 2006
A contest entry
- Username Contest by Alexandra Saint.
300 points, ended May 31, 2006, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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u r very welcome. we all have to get inspiration somewhere.
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B+
First, kudos for using the '2' as well as all the letters.
Good job as well on the rhyme. I've been reading a lot of acrostic-entries and I've noticed rhyming acrostics are now pretty popular. They are fun to write, I gotta say. And your acrostic is NOT crap, espescially not for a first go at an acrostic.
I like the 'playing with my mind' and 'little games' tie-togethers, that works really well and works to connect everything within a theme.
Suggestion: the rhythm seems kinda iffy. It's no problem, but a few extra syllables in some of the shorter lines to match up the number of beats with its rhyming-line (except in stanzas 2 and 3, of course) could add a lot.
Kudos, and good luck!
Bekca.
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