In my arms you repose your fear,
gently wrapped in cellophane
made of salt from a single tear.
Tremulous skin longs to adhere
to the leaf of my heart, and again
in my arms you repose your fear,
disrobed of any shame. Right here
under my breath, I feel your pain
made of salt from a single tear.
Two bodies crossed the frontier
of hurtful times; now freed of chain,
in my arms you repose your fear.
Tied thrashing to my secure pier,
to keep you from drowning in this rain
made of salt from a single tear.
My embrace, is an intangible sphere
where serenity you regained.
In my arms you repose your fear
made of salt from a single tear.
Author notes
A Villanelle
Written May 15th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Picture Inspiration # 12 [Rhyming Poems Only] by Utok Bulinaw.
300 points, ended May 17, 2006, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Such a beautiful connection... a need and a need met. You can really feel this one, Mari. It pulls and recedes the emotions over and over. The repetition of the villanelle fits this sort of circular healing so well. Beautifully done.
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I think that someone would feel very safe in the arms when hearing this song...the villanelle to me is like a song, and this would be one for closing eyes...wonderful...h
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i THINK YOU WERE ALWAYS GOOD AT VILLANELLE...IS THE hOURGLASS POEM A VILLANELLE?
oops, I had it on caps lock. I can't be bothered to fix it.
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I can edit that original comment below if you want me too. It was and is a beautiful poem, with a depth that fills the spirit, especially then.
What am I doing? Just reading, the first two I chose specifically, this was just a random click. I'd forgotten the name and how well written it was. But on Sunny (which this poem was in the account of) I think I was trying to remain inconspicuous.
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why would I ask you to edit your old comment? I like reading old comments, I feel sorry I've deleted so many stuffs from page and lost the comments...
Thanks again
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Vaguely getting this feeling how unequal reciprocation of feelings have only made you stronger, more loving and giving? Thats quite something to be achieved!
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Magnificent
to you Mari~~
Gorgeous piece you have penned my friend!!
Beautiful flow!!
sigh
I love to read different poetic styles...
learning as I go along
So keep on writing more of these lovely
Villanelles!!
YOU did an excellent job on this write!!
Look forward to reading more!
Thanks for sharing this one!!
Many blessings to YOU!
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Hi Mari,
Just stopped by to say hi and to congratulate you on this great poem. You have become quite a writer! I am quite jealous.
Take care,
Anulka
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Wonderful write. Glad I stopped in on it. It is well balanced... flows well.... great feel to it with excellent choice of words and repeated phrases. Somehow, it doesn't surprise me Renee wrote one about war.... lol... just kidding!!!!
Nice work my friend.
Monk -
This is a stunning Villanelle. I just wrote one which is dark and nightmarish about war. I like this one much better. It makes me sigh. Very nice Mari. I love the language usage it sings to me.
Much Love,
Renee
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Mari my darling sis, this is a wonderfully written villanelle, I am glad to see you trying more forms. It sounds beautiful, and as I know the reasoning behind it I have to say it fits together perfectly..................
Miss you sis, we never seem to be on at the same time these days.................
Hugs and Love LindaXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX -
I barely have time to keep up with this account, decided to join the two of them. Now also I got a few extra trophies on my page, can't let Mayne stay too far ahead
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What have you done with Sunrising? Hi Mari.
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This is a lovely assurance, Sunrising, and a very good villanelle. The English is unusual, but certainly comprehensible and could even be exotic. The long comment above has some good suggestions.
In my arms you repose your fear
made of salt of a single tear.
Repose is not usually a transitive verb, if I recall correctly, but I like the lilting mixed meter.
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A lovely villanelle packed with creative metaphors. I am awed with this one Sunny. Thank you for entering and good luck. Eris
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Thanks! I have seen Villalles with lines composed of only four syllables, never tried to write one of those though.
Maybe you could point the grammatical problems, and why it doesn't sound like English, I'd appreciate that
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Nice idea, but the language doesn't sound like English. The phrasing is awkward and there are numerous grammatical problems. That said, I like the poem. The imagery works for me, and you've presented your ideas well. Villanelles are difficult to write, and the lines are not normally that short, but you've still managed to work in a complicated form and done it credibly. All in all, not bad.
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What an excellent villanelle you have written here dear Sunny what a beautiful feeling you radiate here, along with some magnificent images
well done!
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I've read this several times Sunny and am more impressed each time I read it. There's a subtlety here that lies beneath the surface, a recurring assurance, and seemingly a promise to a special someone that together the future is secure.
I'm guessing that there is no bond stronger than two people who've been through their own separate hells and have found one another. I know Mari and I share that bond...and I don't expect that to change. So Sunny, if you have found your other half...I'm happy for you...and your poem was a pleasure to read, partly because it reminded my of my Mariza.
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