I caught love once, and held it tight.
It's warmth illuminated grand,
a shining, phosphorous orb
Precious within the palm of my hand.
Captivated within its warmth, I breathed
As the kiss of life rendered,
Forever inherited, eternity bequeathed
And for a brief moment in time,
not realizing, it was meant to be mine, it stayed
A pulsating heartbeat against the bars my fingers made.
...I caught love once...
Author notes
Written May 15th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Like others have said, the rhyming scheme here is both subtle and powerful, and it makes this poem really come to life. However, your use of punctuation in the second stanza might be a little off... would a semicolon fit better after "As the kiss of life rendered,"? Maybe a period could work. Idunno, I would just recommend you spend a second or maybe two considering it.
Good luck writing.
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Such a beautiful and inspirational piece....very powerful in emotions as I read every line and felt every word. Such a great job here! Smiles, Terry
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Wonderful and loving piece of poetry my friend. You have done a marvelous job portraying love at it's best. I truely loved it.
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this is so beautiful...and i actually love the rhyme scheme. a poem has to be pretty special for me to actually apreciate the rhyming. maybe i like it because it is so subtle? i dont know. but anyways. great poem, and thanks for the coment on my poem...
-perplexed- -
This is a beautiful penning, Poet. I also enjoyed what you had to say on your author's page. I have often said that Love is the one thing we may take with us when we go & the one thing we may leave behind; the greatest legacy of all. I'm glad your arms were open so you were able to catch it. Be well, Poet. Wanda
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I was pulled in by the title and then liked the way that you use the unusual idea of physically cathing love. Creative. An easy read (which means it has a good flow). Thanks for the poem. Peace.
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This is beautiful. I love the choice of wording and the flow. You did love proud. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece and I hope you one day find love again; only the kind of love that stays with you more than once. Best wishes, Trina.
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How precious to be in the palm of your hand...to hold love in your arms, how sweet...I love "bequeathed"...well, I love all of it...you have a knack for always bringing a smile to my lips, and I can't wait until you share more of your words here
XOXO Cheerios XOXO
Meg
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Love the feel, the passion
Wow, this was absolutely a beautiful selection. I loved the feel, the passion of what was and what is left... Kirk -
Oooo... angsty love piece... OK, reading... well, I don't see tha angst here! I see one who treats love gently, sees it as a precious thing, giving life... oh, I see the angst now- you caught it once, but you don't have it now... yes... I see in the last stanza you added 'and so', because 'For' is still capitalized! (a give-away sign!) I think it may have been just fine without the 'and so'...! and last, if I tinkered with it (and I do a lot of tinkering! lol) I'd try two more syllables in the orb line to make it flow smoother; (it will also add something to the imagery there)... Well, that's enough from me! I hope that helps!
Edited on May 15, 7:51 because ''.
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