To me, you are my great best friend,
It is on you that I depend,
Yet here we are, my trust is fraying,
It was me that you were betraying.
We talked about it, we both knew,
You loved him, I loved him too,
We promised he would never come between us,
But now our friendship is beginning to rust.
Him and you will never just be a fling,
A fling will move on to another thing,
I can see you don't want to let him go,
But I loved him too, and that you know.
But even though my heart was broken,
Our friendship is a valuable token,
Polish can always work on the rust,
And my heart will mend, as long as there's us.
Yes it hurts, and yes I feel sad,
And I know he is something that I could have had,
But I know you are sorry for all that you've done,
And I want you to be happy, as you are my chum.
No matter what happens, for how long I'll live,
There's things I can get over, that I can forgive,
You are my friend, and that is so true,
I want you to know, that I still love you.
Author notes
Um... its not my best work, but its true and i wanted to get it out.
So yeh
enjoy
Written May 14th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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thanks for commenting =D
<3 x -
Wow...this peom can relate to an old memory of mine...Very good...I like it alot!
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Thanks =]
¢¾¢¾ x -
great
its cool your a greatwriter -
Thanks for your comment :] and the rhyme, I did try a rhyming dictionary, but nothing relevant to my poem came up. However, I do agree that the rhyme is weak there, and in some other places as well. thanks a lot for your comment, very kind of you!!
And the longness certainly does make up for the ABSENCE of everyone elses... who I am very disappointed in. Pfft. Stuff them.
Thanks again!! <33 :] xXx -
wow very pretty. i can't believe no one else has left comments *looks shocked* i shall have to leave a nice long comment to make up for everyone elses meanness. *clears throat* ok where do i start? um, i understand the topic of this poem better than some who may be reading it and personal poems are normally quite hard to relate to but i think you have told the story well in this piece and i admire your abililty to write narrative poetry. damn you - i find it so hard!! i loved that fact that it rhymed and although some of the rhymes were quite weak like "chum and done", try searching google for a rhyming dictionary in the future if you get really stuck. i also love the strong rhythm of this poem because although it is quite long it is quick and easy to read so i didn't just skip to the comment box and write "nice work". i also liked the way this poem is written because your choice of words and the way its quite pacey make it sound emotionless and understated in parts even though i know how much of a big deal this fall out was. i don't know why i liked that about it... maybe because it let the reader choose ecactly how much emotion there was in ths poem. so , yeah i really enjoyed reading it great wrte, well done -x-x-x-
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