Better days in better times
This hollow desperate hole
In which I slither back
Addictions upon distractions
Motivated to be nothing at all
Better days lave long since past
Better times are forever lost
A simple wish in innocent melodies
Succumbed to the wickedness of society
Drowning me in an endless abyss
Sucking me down through the depths
Of my worst nightmare over and over
I wish to be the man I dream
Instead of talking such sweet melodies
A day lost in time, a kiss locked away
To move on is like giving up
On everything that I hold dear
These laws that rip us apart forever
Only make me fight harder, stronger
A day of my past I wish I could change
That last kiss we ever shared
It isn't you nor is it your love
In which I seek true happiness
But in each little moment I laugh
I smile, I cry, and I whine
Desperately needing it all back
Not you and your weakness in lies
Not your love that you threw away so gently
Author notes
free verse sux, but i havent written in a while
Written May 13th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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I love free verse. I think this is a wonderful piece, full of longing. I like how the narrator even feels a bit confused, because he wants something but he's not really sure what-it isn't the lost relationship...happiness? But he doesn't really know where to find his happiness. It's so true. I would suggest only a few minor changes-the two lines that start with "in which" don't need the prepositions at the end. Other than that, I think this work is splendid.
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Great
good job, I thought this was an excellent poem...It has imagery to it and its easy to understand....great job
~~~Vampireblood~~~
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