I know that I want you
Or at least I think I do
Nothing’s for certain
Anymore
I’ve never felt
This way before
Is that a good thing?
I can’t be sure
Everything says no
Yet still my heart says yes
I’m so restless
How can I forget?
The way you look when you smile
Can’t you hold me for a little while?
I can feel your heart beat
Quickening
Is it even worth us
Listening
To what everyone else
Tells us to feel
There are some cuts
There ain’t enough time to heal
But maybe I don’t wanna
Heal up my heart
Coz as long as I ache, I know there’s a part
Of you inside of me
That no one can reach
Help me please
I beseech.
This is where
The rhyme breaks down
Only silence can explain
What I feel
How when I’m near you
Nothing’s too bad
How this pain
Is keeping me alive
How I seem to hunger
For your next call
How I know I should stop
But I keep wanting more.
I’d trade everything I ever owned
For things to be different
For us to have a chance
As it stands
I haven’t got a chance
You don’t really love me
There’s no way that you could
I remember your smell
And the words that you used
I can get inside your head
And I love it.
But I guess what I have learned
Is that we can never be
I love you enough
To set you free
(I hope)
So go on – just forget about me
I s’pose I need to forget you too
But here’s the funny thing – I can’t
I still think I love you.
Damn.
Author notes
This uses options 1, 2 and 3 (they all interlink really don't they?) and my name is Kirjava.
A fairly long poem I wrote that was basically just my keyboard bearing the brunt of my frustrations. The penultimate line was originall "I still f*ing love you" but I felt that the rhythm I've included here works better
Written May 13th, 2006
A contest entry
- Show Me Your Pain by technicolor wonder.
300 points, ended June 28, 2006, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~No Trophy's ~Enter Here by blondone.
600 points, ended May 8, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
This uses options 1, 2 and 3 (they all interlink really don't they?) and my name is Kirjava.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Love is a tricky thing a times, now for me to be able to judge this write I'll need you to add your user name to the authors comment
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this is really good, thanks for dropping me a line and lettign me know i hadn't commented yet, cus i prolly wouldn't have found it otherwise and that would be sad.
anyway, you capture the emotion in this really well, i can feel that aching longing for someone you know isn't right all the way through it. and i love the line "this is wehere/ the rhyme breaks down," it's talking about the poem and drawing attention to the fact that it is a poem, but at the same time, on a deeper level, it kind of mirrors the breakdown of a "normal" relationship with a lot of structure and conformity to one that's differen tbut not necessarily better or worse. that's ust a really great line. by the end of the poem, your flow is really good too, though i think maybe it could still use a little more help in the beginning; the last set or stanza or paragraph, whatever you want to call it, has a really good flow, and if you could nail that in the rest of the piece it would be even better. anyway, this is, all in all, a great piece of writing and i really appreciate the contribution, best of luck in the contest!
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wooooooooooooooow ! this is just soooooooo coooooool ! i realy enjoyed this poem and appreciate you to have posten it here !
thanks for the entry and best wishes in the contest !
your fan
TRUTHWRITER -
Your confusion is so apparent.. and love is love and always makes us better people even if we have to let go of it.. it remains in our hearts.. I love this poem x
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wow... that's amazing... like... really truly deep...
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