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My Empty Room

Forgive me for locking you out of this room;
wanting to be alone in winter’s dark womb.
muffled cries, coming from a phantom crib;
an image veiled in blue, wearing a funny bib.

 

I can't bear to carry, what's yet to live inside,
if I say “it doesn’t matter", you know I  lied.
this room's more costly as  years goes by;
bitterness needs to be fed, sorrow sucks dry.


Daily I wake a dream that is long since dead,
loved ones pray I’ll have a burial in its stead.
don't mean to ignore you as I quietly peruse;
looking for little outfits I’ll never get to use.

 

On empty walls Pooh and Tiger dance in delight;
then suddenly lie still, shrouded in chalky white.
imaginations coming  to life, I shall never see;
slaying monsters, drying tears,   will never be.
 

Christmas morning, as I tiptoe across the hall;

trip over trucks, army men, a bat and baseball.
dawns on me, you've been in this room all along,

look up from the little bed, I see that you belong.
now that you're here with me, I have a final plea;
lock this door behind us and throw away the key!

Author notes

just another side of the coin - not meant to be depressing, God has blessed us in so many other ways= a heartache but we all have one at least! Keeps us compassionate for others!

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • angelwalken
    June 26

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    Blessings for this

    This is so beautiful . For though you have no childen of your own you have been blessed to stand in for those that don't have parents. God is good yes he is . I guess you figured it out now .yes you have a lot of kids....Blessings


  • Kleroo
    May 30, 2008

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    Love the emotion and words you used to express them.
    The phrase Ill have a burial in its stead I dont think clicks with the rest but everything else is perfect. Reminds me of one of mine "My Hero" by Kleroo


  • Joy.To.The.World
    July 8, 2007
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    this is really good and i like the little words that you used like bib and key it makes it a bit more subltle away from the powerful meaning but i liked it alot but you did forget the second g in tigger if thats the word you were going for but othere then that it was a great read im putting it in my bookmarks


  • MissIndependent
    June 18, 2007

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    I think this poem is a masterpeice I love it i can't wait to check all the rest of them out! But very good i love it nice write heather or MissIndependent!


  • JustSimplyLissa gold member
    March 22, 2007

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    This is a sorrowfilled write. It rips at the heart, and jerks the tears free. Great job pulling these emotions forward. And yes there is a sad side as well as a good side. Because babies are to be gifts, and sometimes, some are not so blessed. Thank you for sharing this wonderfully emotional piece with me and the those others of AP.


  • SignoraDiDispiacere
    January 25, 2007

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    Wow
    Very very good. This piece is filled with so many emotions, I read it a few times so I can capture them all. Great job!


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    December 25, 2006
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    This write is beautifully metaphoric. Filled with sorrow, pain and confusion... Also a sense of self loss and that you feel almost as if you don't exist. I am sorry you felt like this, and your husband. I hope things are better for you now.


  • Danna Hobart
    December 5, 2006

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    Thanks for entering

    The last stanza of this seems like an after thought.

    This room become more costly as the years goes by;… You are missing an s on the end of “becomes” in this line.

    The end stop rhyme is distracting. I find myself anticipating the next rhyme instead of drinking in your poem. End stop rhymes like this are the tools used in nursery rhymes, and that makes them difficult to use when you are writing about a serious subject, because it is going to come off sounding like a nursery rhyme.

    You have some good lines. I particularly like the one about Winter’s dark womb.

    You have chosen symbols of death, but then in the last stanza, you talk about toys on the floor and you leave the reader wondering what you are really trying to say.

    The last line and a half is nearly word for word the lyrics to an Alabama song, which makes it a cliché. Clichés offer prefabricated phrasing that may be used without effort on your part. They are thus used at the expense individuality. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print. If you're depending on a stock phrase, you're letting someone else do half your thinking for you.


  • Just waiting
    December 1, 2006
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    wow

    this is so heart wrenching. i am crying right now i can't imagine the pain you went through. i really like how you ended the poem. that part made me smile through the tears. thank you very mcuh for entering my contest and i wish you lots of luck.

  • Angel Falls
    June 25, 2006
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    Emotional

    This is very sad, so full of emotion, and hurt. I hope things gets easier with time.


  • Exo
    May 16, 2006
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    That is the most depression poem I have ever read. One of my biggest fears that could possibly happen in the future is losing someone that close..someone so innocent that is a part of you. I feel for you and I hope things get better soon. Great write.


  • moment liver
    May 16, 2006
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    I like this a lot, but it seems I have failed to see the meaning, I got the feel of it alright, but it seems I am supposed to understand something more, but I don't know what it is. very well written, keep writing from within!
    See you around the deep end
    moment liver


  • x CheepPurfume
    May 16, 2006
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    Oh wow Oh wow oh wow! This wass..WOW! Incredibleee. Yeaa..I know I'm sorta a spaz but this was really good. Keep up the awesome work! I lovedd it!
    Tori

1 - 13 of 13