I never wanted to live like this
Living for a kiss
From this man's lips
And it doesn't even matter
Who he is
I would've never believed
Can't even conceive the fact
That this is what I've become
I think I'd rather be numb
Than to go on with this act
And continue to be so dumb
I made a commitment, a vow
To never be so dependent, and now
All I can see
Is the me I never wanted to be
And it's crazy to think
It all happened so easily
I had these goals
Real dreams
I haven't been able to hold
And it seems
The only thing I know
What I can do
Is make us both believe
That you love me
Or I love you
It doesnt even matter
If it's true
If we'll follow through
If you're hollow too
The sad part about it--
I fall for him first
That's got to be the worst
I think I must be cursed
To let myself feel so hurt
I know it's on me
My own stupidity
In ever way
I was completely fake
The girl he wanted me to be
Then Im suprised
When I can't catch his eye
He still gives me butterflies
Why doesn't he recognize
I am the prize?
Oh that's right
Because it was all a lie
Maybe he really is a smart guy.
Author notes
Written May 13th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
-
It's actually not about a husband at all, or any one man. It's just what dating has felt like for me. When I talk about a commitment, it was a commitment I made to myself to never rely on a man for anything, financially or emotionally.. and when I catch myself doing it, this is what it feels like. And it doesnt matter who he is because if Im faking who I am then we never get to know eachother for real. Thanks for reading though, and it makes me happy that different people could take it different ways.
-
excellent
I enjoyed reading this poem. It was very thought provoking in that you were guestioning your commitments to this man which I assume to be your husband. The admittance that it was partially your fault for the way things turned out. Good poem, straight from the heart.
Adding your comment:
1 old applause
