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Leave A Window Open

Summer refused to leave,
we caught it lingering
outside our kitchen window;
squeezed sweat from our brows,
glued legs to chairs;

kept papa under the

the shadow of the old willow.

I'm sure he heard mama crying

over the news about Johnny,

looked in her blue eyes,

cloudy as when she told Johnny

and me, Papa lost his mind;
blamed it on another war.

I know he heard the words,

"Your son is missing in Iraq,"

since he asked the uniformed man,

"If you find my son, will ya look for

my legs? They won't be far away."


Mama blamed the rise in temperature,
told me "Go inside and don't argue!";
tried to convince her papa finally
spoke after almost a year;
things heated up fast round here.

My heart breaks for my brother,
so tonight I'll open his window,
hope he'll climb back in,
finally rest in peace since

sneaking out to join the
army his last birthday.

Can't really blame him for that,
wasn't much for him to do around here

anyway,except to sit for

eighteen years and weep

under the shadow

of his purple hearted hero.

Author notes

Written May 13th, 2006

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 55 of 55

  • The Falls Sun
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    Nice write, a rather sad ending. Overall I liked your poem, but if anything you could maybe add more metaphor and imagery. Such a great message, it only needs to be amplified more... Thank you for entering


  • Oh.My.Juliet
    August 16
    Edit | Reply
    :'( oh my goodness, this just about made me cry and I can't cry at ANYTHING. Great work

    x


  • Lulu Gee silver member
    August 15
    Edit | Reply
    Oh....How utterly sad and very poignant.... a compelling read..Lulu


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    May 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Is this your first AP poem? Very well done, I read your Author's page, you seem like such a lovely person, And I am so happy to hear that there is hope for relationships that "almost don't make it". REally a very sad poem.

    wishing you all the best.
    Becks

  • EmeraldDaze
    May 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow, very sad. I don't really think theres much left for me to say, the other comments say it all. One thing that caught my eye however, is in the first stanza. It reads as though "we" were the ones that "squeezed sweat from our brows,glued legs to chairs;" and "kept papa under the the shadow of the old willow."


  • Candy6
    May 27, 2007
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    I like your 1st stanzas. so I agree with vlianie.


  • Aidenn
    February 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    First of all, thank you for entering my contest. I really appreciate it, and I wish you the best!

    this was so sad and beautiful. I can relate to this. I have a cousin in Iraq right now, and it's very difficult for our family right now.This is marvelous.


  • vlannie
    January 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very good write. My favorite part is the first stanza. I love your desription of summer. I can certainly relate to the glued legs! A sad ending leaving me wanting to know when he comes home...


  • Mel-the-Believer
    January 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I loved this. It was really, really great. Good job with writing this. Thanks for entering. Good luck. Keep up the writing. God Bless!


  • Sandygram
    January 1, 2007
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    BEAUTIFUL AND HEARTFELT !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    This was a very heartfelt poem that makes us realize how war devastates families forever. Your words were very emotional for me. I have friends there in Iraq. God Bless our troops. You take care. Sandy


  • Michael Schiewer
    December 25, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Awesome Piece!

    All I can say is WOW!
    This is one powerful piece of work.
    Take care and keep the pen in hand.
    -M!KE-


  • cherche -d -ame
    October 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    excellent job in describing how one family is affected, the pain , the loss, the senselessness of it all Note I said one family)I hate to imagine how often a scene such as this or similar repeats itself......and here we are helpless. How can anyone still buy the words that we are protecting our freedom? Protecting our freedom to means securing our own nation and defending it from intruders....yet we are still wide opened to invasions at so many points......tunnels and bridges, unprotected borders, too few soldiers left on home-soil....instead we have sent them over there and so far but for a loss of innocent lives not much has yet been accomplished. Was the focus not on capturing Bin Ladin? Was it not Afghanistan....yet we invaded Iraq (lies that had us believe they had weapons of mass destruction)So Bin Ladin is still free......as are the ones that shortly after Sept 11th mailed this white powder substance around the country. No-one talks about that anymore (maybe in the hopes that we will forget all about it)So sad......personally I hate this war, however I support our troops and I feel for their families. It is time to bring them home...and maybe we could send some of our leaders over there for a bit.....but they stay out of harms way. They send our young ones to their death....the same ones that under our laws can not have a beer yet, but they can put their lives at risk??????? where is the rationality in this???????
    reenie


  • nichtmich silver member
    October 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Very, Very Good

    Very unusual style, I have to admit I found it a little confusing at first but a second read brings many insights. True feelings bursting at the seams to get out.

  • dansam100
    October 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    I tried to follow every line or your poem....slowly as i read down, new words emerged and new meanings came...and the poems horizon began to broaden...from summer and heat...to the heat of war in iraq, where there are many deaths and sadness. To me, the sweat, caused by the heat, on the brows of the people in your poem signify the tears caused by the heat of war which had caused a loss of someone dear.

    War is indeed so tough...sadly it gets hotter and hotter and more intense each day...we are all hoping that slowly peace will come and restore itself. Thank you for sharing...have a great day


  • Kill My Insides
    October 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    oh wow, that was amazing. i really felt it as i was reading it, you did a great job of putting feeling into this piece that your reader can pick up on. very sad and very beautiful.
    great write


  • nilav
    October 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    the heat of summer flows and overflows burning us all in this...so sad but great poem...


  • prisms
    October 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Good piece you have here. I can really feel the sadness radiating from it-- aren't we all just so tired of dealing with this stupid war? Good job and good luck in my contest!


  • prisms
    October 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Great write!!! But it doesn't follow my contest rules. Feel free to fix your author's comments and re-enter!

  • sylva MD poetry
    October 9, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    SPECIAL

    we feel with you ,
    did your brother come back home?
    hearty poem!


  • Arkbear gold member
    September 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful.

    This is an outstanding write....the talent and emotions I have just read with ALL the netries, are far more than I expected....thank you for blessing us with your thoughts and lovely pen work.


  • plinkyponk
    September 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    THATS got to be so good its tear jerker but without being too hammy it strikes just the right tone its brilliant


  • sgking123 gold member
    September 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    I read your writings ….you are amazing……..keep it up...Never stop writing good write......................How do you get these perceptive ideas you tame words like few Very good structure...and an interesting poem that kept me reading... ... Did you read anything from me on this site?


  • ultra deluxe
    September 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Not going to wax wisdom here, because there is none.

    I really like this, and can't think of any need for adjustments or improvements, not in style, form or content.


  • Vernal Bloom
    September 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Afarin

    Ah dear! What a sad tragedy you have painted for us! I agree with you with many of your lines. Sometimes like you, I wonder how this huge world is getting too tight for some people.. for those who forget the next world and think in vain that this world is immortal and imagine Death is completely far from them and forget their Creator and what He wanted from His servants and take their desire, job and mortal wealth of this world as their gods, it is not that hard to choose war over peace. It’s becomes a wish for me to turn on the TV someday and there s no news about war, innocent blood, killed kids and crying women. although the world is getting darker but in our Islamic faith, we still have a ray of hope which will shine and establish justice and kindness throughout the world. Living with a hope –which we know it is not far from us- is more pleased to just nag and even doubt in wisdom of God! Mahdi a.s is our Promised Imam and will appear someday soon. Yeah, and then peace this great wish of everyone will be granted.
    Thanks for sharing this magnificent poem with us and best luck in the contest. With the hope of establishment of justice, peace, brotherhood in the world and return of humanity to human being.

    ~Massy~
    P.S I agree with The Pole Star.. we should do something more than just talks! It’s time for act.


  • Kari gold member
    September 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    deep

    This was so deep and real. Iraq sigh....all this war has been hard for everyone.Thanks for sharing.

    Kari


  • Frozentearz
    September 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    You should never try and force rhyme when your writing from the heart, nothing wrong with Free Verse your feelings are clear
    and so haunting of truths for some familys, I am blessed to have my husband home and on American Soil, I lived each day in fear when he was in Iraq and I know how truly blessed we are,
    and I pray for those not so lucky..
    Godspeed to all
    And thanks for sharing
    Warm thoughts
    Frozentearz


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    September 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Not fair to blame him for that,
    wasn't much for him to do around here,
    except to weep for eighteen years
    under the shadow of his purple hearted hero

    A great write indeed..my all salutes tributes for the hero..
    you wrote a golden poem here that is just immortal one..


  • LadyUnique silver member
    September 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this is the best poem i've read in ages...months seriously. i was right there as i read this. each line break felt perfect. just enough emotion and plenty of detail. i felt like i knew these people.
    i applaud the poet and the poem

  • The Pole Star
    September 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Ah! Another Iraq poetry!

    This topic is riding over the poetry basis of the Allpoetry. I think everyone should come together with Iraq and help. Starting with Allpoetry is not a bad idea, is it?

    I don't think AP allows to circulate such poems... ...


  • mizzamerica91
    September 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    sad and heartfelt

    This is an amazing poem. I really liked it. I think that the fact that it didnt rhyme made it better, because, well one, i dont like rhyme, but also because it made it seem more personal.
    Good job
    Mizz
    .x.X.x.


  • otepsaint
    September 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    great

    Not fair to blame him for that,
    wasn't much for him to do around here,
    except to weep for eighteen years
    under the shadow of his purple hearted hero
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    THis brought tears so my eyes
    YOu are an amazing poet.
    Freaking amazing


  • mjseattle silver member
    September 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Heartfelt

    Have I discovered a new talent here, or what? I'm not trying to inflate your ego, but this is very good! So heartfelt. Yes, I guess that's the key element here: heartfelt. I also enjoyed the flow and diction. Keep up the good writes.

    =)


  • Carly Pop gold member
    September 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I don't know who would of circulated my poem but if a soldier I do not mind. thank you for your review!

  • Arkbear gold member
    September 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Heartfelt and sad.

    As "Mandy" said...I am at a loss for words....this is definately a touching and heartfelt write.....I don't know what "Unmerrited Favor" was commenting on....I am in hopes that this poem is permitted to be in the contest....I hope it is....As it touched me deeply....Very vivid story with great family love to be seen in this write....
    Sincerely...Arkbear.


  • Carly Pop gold member
    September 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this is a fictional account only!


  • TransparentHeart
    September 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Well i'm just going to hope that the other guy was wrong with the circling e-mail thing and say my comments as if this was not true because I don't know if it is or not. But...I am really sorry if this is a true story and I put m heart out to you and your family.
    -TransparentHeart


  • Rele anmwe
    September 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is a gorgeous piece of work. It is very nice.

  • femurlee
    September 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Marvelous

    This piece seems to transcend its subject. Very moving and real. Take care. Peace.


  • kdanielle
    September 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i love this. it flows so well. i loved the images in my mind, they were so real! thanks for sharing!


  • WisdomWarrior
    August 20, 2006
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    I hate to say this, especially since I would hate to hear it, but, I've seen this poem before in an email. Did you give someone permission to cirtulate it?

    If I get another I will forward it to you. It was some time back and I don't have the email anymore.


  • LeftAccount
    August 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is so sad and heartfelt. You've really done a fantastic job writing this, i'm pretty much speechless...

    Thanks for entering the contest,
    ~AutumnButterfly


  • BrightEyes-
    May 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful. I'm literally at a loss of words.


  • masterblaster gold member
    May 23, 2006
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    Hi, I would like to put the person who decided on a war in the frount lines and make it a law that every politician that votes for a war is in the frount lines too, I think there would be very few wars after that, a very very touching write, well written and straight from the heart, God bless my friend, hugs Di


  • heather 802
    May 23, 2006
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    This is so sad! So packed with emotion and feelings. I understand the title now, and I enjoyed this poem so much I think it's worthy of an applause. Thanks for sharing, take care, Heather x


  • bethan-gaze
    May 23, 2006
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    This poem works because it is accessible and real. You can't argue with honesty; this piece is grounded in all kinds of emotions. I love the title of your poem as well ... it's on a par with leaving a light on isn't it? Beautifully and sensitively written.


  • Puppydog gold member
    May 23, 2006
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    AMAZING! BEAUTIFUL!

    As I read your beautiful words I did not notice if there was rhyme or not. Your message is so touching and beautiful!


  • Martin M Clark
    May 23, 2006
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    My heart goes out to you and your family for the agony that your have been subjected to. God Bless you all .


  • starwing
    May 23, 2006
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    this was so sad...brought tears to my eyes... too much of this is happening..this touched my very soul...peace to you...shzoosy

  • WisdomWarrior
    May 22, 2006
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    Wonderful

    You write with such passion. Please never let anything or one take that away from you. I enjoy your work and I look forward to any publishing you do.

    Be continually blessed.

    John M. Swails


  • knitonepearlone
    May 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This needs no rhymes. You have written from your heart, that is the essence of poetry. You paint a vivid picture of that summer's day and the terrible loss of a young family member.

  • LittleD1981
    May 17, 2006
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    I'm glad this isn't a personal story from you; but still I'm sad that people you've known have had similar experiences. I think war is so stupid. I won't even go into that. Anyway, you've impressed me yet again! Your imagery is such that I can picture the scene, and I just LOVE how you described summer...sweating brows, legs sticking to chairs...I felt like I was in it. I'm a sucker for rhyme, and while you write absolutely fantastic rhymes, your free verse is still good, but I can't help but be partial to rhymes. Anyway, great job and thanks for sharing!


  • Hope2MakeIt
    May 17, 2006
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    i am utterly speechless here so i really can not say much besides thank you for sharing this with me and my prayers go out to all who are overseas and i pray they return soon. hope2makeit


  • deborahseyes
    May 17, 2006
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    A very real write...

    This is very passionate write on a very sad dilemna we are facing...well done. Kirk

  • Carly Pop gold member
    May 14, 2006
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    than you for your heearfelt review - but this was only a story made up based on lives I have known and heard about. The war has been a subjesc of many poems for me even though noone very close is involved - I shouldn't say that - my Uncle Sam is in the thick of it!

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    May 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Dear poetesse,your write touched my heart.Poetry does not need to rhyme to have a voice.The portrayal of a family torn asunder by time and events beyond their control sears into the reader.Emotions revealed from every angle,imagery powerful.May God bless your family,you all have my respect,care and understanding.I wish I could find words to bring comfort for the reality that your Dad lives in and that of you and your Mom with your brother missing in Iraq,I honestly wish I could.Love and light,Yvette

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