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Hump-a-Rump (Ad)


Are you feeling rejected, lonely and frustrated?
Do you find yourself sitting at home alone on a Saturday night watching TV -when you happen to look down and see this...




Instead of feeling irritated you find yourself envious, perhaps even a little jealous of such an uninhibited relationship?

You kick the dog off your leg ...get up and go for a drive to clear your head , that's when you happen upon ...




Every where you look you see this stance..





Well cheer up my forsakened bummed out friend - We've got the anwer to your dreams!

The portable..fold it up and take it anywhere

Hump-a-Rump



No, you haven't died and gone to heaven! Your very own humping rump! For a mere 17 easy payments of .99 cents this can be yours!

If you're somewhat of a more conservative guy and want a less conspicuous rump, this model may be more to your liking...



Yes,  that's a lipstick stain imprint ..just to get your juices flowing at no extra charge - We also have an over-bite slobber model.

or maybe you're the type of fellow who wants more then just an arse...you want a big fat everything!




Could it be that you're you in the mood for a mad hump? 
The "give it to me hard" rear is also available



Order in the next 10 minutes and we'll include...



A fly swatter spanking paddle! For that pesky fly that's always around when you're bent over and busy...

So get on that horn and phone right now! If you don't you're cracked...
905 - 123- ASS


Author notes


Written May 12th, 2006

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Comments

1 - 70 of 70

  • Ellis gold member
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You are SO bad that I had
    Better put you on my List
    of Favorites so that this lad
    Can avoid you in the AP mist

    Good night and Goodbye (for now)


    • galfalfa gold member
      December 20, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      LOL..thanks for the giggles and grins - loved all of your comments,i will come visit your pages and check out what you have to offer...dont be stingy either, bring out some food and drink

      galfalfa


  • majix
    September 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Delightful

    As if rubber chickens weren't enough Reminds me of the old rhyme:

    Old Mother Hubbard,
    Went to the cupboard
    to get her poor dog a bone.
    But when she bent over
    Rover took over
    'Cause Rover had a bone of his own.


  • Endeavor gold member
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    Very clever, you know tooooo much about men


  • Soon To Be A Dad
    July 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hm...I think I might need one of those...lol thanks for the laugh!!!!!!


  • galfalfa gold member
    July 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thank you


  • asymmetry
    July 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    oh, and another thing, you are hot.

  • asymmetry
    July 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    that thing about guys and their hand. what, do girls not jerk off? I read somewhere that the typical young American woman masturbates as often as men, and has an average of 2 orgasms per session. What I've found (through dating) is that the older the woman is, the more she needs sexual pleasure. They're also better than younger women at providing it. Masturbation is fun, whether one does it with a partner, or simply solo, you should know that.

  • galfalfa gold member
    July 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL...serious research? Me? Nah, i just entered rubber ass or blow up ass into Google Image and most were found right away
    Hump A Rump is mainly for the poor schmucks who have more of a relationship with their hand then a real live woman or the guy who dates - kinda like a hump stand by Thanks for checking this out

    galfalfa

  • asymmetry
    July 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    That's why the girl has to be a good sport and stay home to take care of the man. It must have taken some serious research to find all those pics.

  • Someone New
    June 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Pretty damn funny! What a creative person you are! Thanks for the comment on my poem.

  • galfalfa gold member
    June 4, 2006
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    LMAO..you make me laugh Loved your comment and i'll throw in the big fat everything and the fly swatter for free


  • individuality gold member
    June 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    darnit and i was going to sit in tonight and just watch some science fiction on tv now i know what to do. i would like the give it to me hard version please i know i have not placed my order within the ten minutes for the fly swatter (flippin' flies) but can i have one anyway? i am already sat on the horn oh you mean the phone actually i will take the big fat everything version too


  • Jillosophy
    May 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Rubber ass? Do you do that before or after you rubber tits? Brilliant!! Your usual side splitting writing. Sure wish I could eavesdrop on the voices in your head. Your's obviously don't speak Spanish. Too funny galf, glad to see your still cracked.
    jill


  • May 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    haha thats geat dude imma get in line for this one.....lol....u all crack me up....well i hada lotta fun

  • galfalfa gold member
    May 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL, thanks Gypsy - the line starts at the rear so you may have to get in line if you want to take advantage of this offer Loved your comment


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    May 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    OMFG! LMAO!!!!!!! Gal, this is a scream!!! I love it! LOL Well done. This really got me chuckling and made my day. I think I have a hump a rump of my own already but these are quite the festive models LMAO! Gypsy

  • galfalfa gold member
    May 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL..thanks Dee Loved your comment - i take it that this ad is still in the ticket room awaiting syndication approval...I'm there in spirit
    Luv ya back

    gal


  • catz Moderators member
    May 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL... You're a total nut case, gal.... glad to have you among us
    And it might just outsell those t-shirt thingies.... less upkeep, just rinse it off and toss it aside after each use and it's ready to go for the next time.
    I think youhave a great product here..... and maybe you could even give free demonstrations at the next county fair

    You go, gal...ya big nut!!! What a hilarious write, my first read of the day...and speaking of day, you just made mine
    gotta luv ya
    Dee

  • galfalfa gold member
    May 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Yeah but is it syndication material ann? I think it would sell really well along side Kevin's t shirts in the AllPoetry store...what do you think?
    thanks


  • AnnD Moderators member
    May 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    spankingly good

    ROFLMAO.... Gal. this is hilarious. You wonderful nut.
    Thanks for the smiles this morning.


    Ann


  • lies-n-pain
    May 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this is so funny! haha i am very happy that i came upon this wonderful ad! haha. it's really cute. i was in a really bad mood until i read this! haha thanks for cheering me up! lol

  • galfalfa gold member
    May 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh yes! Where have you been? Why, it's all over the news - there's a rubber arse humping epedemic ...
    A word of warning...dont bend over out there unless it's absolutely necessary - for those who cannot afford my rubber arses are doing run by humpings, in broad daylight no less
    thanks for checking this out Glad it made you laugh ...
    Edited on May 15, 1:54 p.m. because ''.


  • Borrowed Goose
    May 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Funky

    He he he he he he he he he he he heh ehehehehhehehhahahhahahhHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
    HA HA HA HA HA HA HHHHHAAAAAA HHAAHH HAH HAAH.

    Woah. sorry. little bit out of control there. I'm so glad I've already been to the toilet. because this would have made me wet myeslf.

    Brilliantly funny.

    But am I the only one thats a little bit worried. That there actually are people in the world that might go in for the whole rubber arse humping deal. Bit strange.
    Funky Ad there

  • Borrowed Goose
    May 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Funky

    He he he he he he he he he he he heh ehehehehhehehhahahhahahhHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
    HA HA HA HA HA HA HHHHHAAAAAA HHAAHH HAH HAAH.

    Woah. sorry. little bit out of control there. I'm so glad I've already been to the toilet. becaue this would have made me wet myeslf.

    Brilliantly funny.

    But am I the only one thats a little bit worried. That there actually are people in the world that might go in for the whole rubber arse humping deal. Bit strange.
    Funky Ad there


  • d a f f o d i l
    May 15, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    am i still in time to get the free fly swatter? i want 5 of the "give it to me hard" rumps please you twisted lady! Loves it!

    mwah


  • angelica silver member
    May 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Gal, our King Hugh directed me to read this, he said it was hilarious and I agree with him! OMG it's soooooo funny, I'm still laughing, you are one beaut shiela Gal, your sense of humour is fantastic, you must have a great imagination to think these up. I LOVE IT!

    Love Joan


  • kotalu
    May 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Once again you've out done yourself-- too funny!!

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    May 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    A well constructed ad,most ads have pictures to go with them,it's part of the marketing after all,you did well to find such a variety to go with this write.Whilst this is humouros it is also potentially viable,am sure you should patent your idea immediateley and pursue your writing from the sunshine destination of your choice on the profits,good luck in the contest.


  • galfalfa gold member
    May 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks DarkenedAuras...glad it gave you a laugh

  • galfalfa gold member
    May 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This was poetry? Gee go figure. It was just done for fun and silliness and i'm having no problem reading it aloud...Ahem - some water please...lights, camera and action
    Are you feeling rejected, lonely and frustrated?
    Do you find yourself sitting at home alone on a Saturday night watching TV     see? thanks for checking this out.
    Edited on May 13, 4:00 p.m. because ''.


  • DarkenedAuras
    May 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    The pictures make this ten times better then it would be alone and I absoulutely love it...great job have to applaud this one...it is out of this world funny great job

  • dsfhsdjfgsdfgsfh
    May 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Humping a big rubber ass... A strange way to spend one's time. For seventeen bucks though, it's quite a bargain.
    I'm not sure I like how it's so dependant on the pictures. They certainly add to it, but I think that poetry should be able to be read aloud.

  • Dead Silent
    May 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Wow. That almost defines originality. I have never in my life come across something even remotely similar. Very nice ad. You should get into retail.

    Dead Silent


  • Blazing White Wolf
    May 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    hahahahahha this is cute and quite funny i enjoyed reading your "ad" lmao this is cute
    love and light
    blaze


  • galfalfa gold member
    May 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I've got a feeling i know which one


  • faderman1959
    May 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Are you sure you want to know!


  • May 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Hilarious

    LMAO.. this is a hilarious piece . Very original and unique.. very well done.

    Cheers
    Terry

  • galfalfa gold member
    May 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL..as an ex fellow ontarian - you recognise the 905 area code eh Ok i will pack up three and courier it out with my "Same Day Some Day" service Thanks for checking this out

  • Phrozen
    May 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I will take three.

    Great read.

    905ers unite!

    Phrozen

  • galfalfa gold member
    May 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh so does that mean you're placing an order for the "big fat everything"? She's slightly more expensive..took an extra big rig spare tire or two in the makings of that model. Not only am I meeting public demand in the makings of these bums but i'm also helping with recycling - no more used tires at the side of the road or in dumps Loved your comment Hugh..still giggling here


  • GunRunner
    May 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Pity they don't sell this at WalMart - I'd love to see this product in stores. Very funny and very nice work!


  • hugh wyles silver member
    May 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Dear Gal,
    ~~~
    Oh! Keep your scrawny, bony bums
    I'll let slim models pass.
    Give me a fleshy dame that comes
    with meat upun her arse.

    A derriere that I can grip
    with good deep cleft between
    and, just in case my feet should slip,
    I hope the floor is clean.

    Although your advertising may
    be arsical and corny
    the illustrations, I must say,
    have really made me horny.

    Your product, if it's not a farce,
    a lot of joy could bring
    to members of the lower class
    who aren't well schooled at picking arse.
    I'll keep the real thing!!

    But selling rubber arses that
    the masses can afford
    will save the tail of many a cat
    and so I give you, just for that,
    a flatulent applaud.


    Love and hugs (from behind!) XXX Hugh.
    PS: Brilliant!!

    Edited on May 13, 5:08 because 'typos all over the place.'.

  • galfalfa gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOL...yeah that's good LMAO!! So i will not add you to my list as a potential customer Want the dog?
    thanks for checking this out..you had me laughing with your comment


  • Sarah957
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Instead of feeling irritated you find yourself envious, perhaps even a little jealous of such an uninhibited relationship?

    LMAO! I guess I haen't quite reached desprate yet, I never felt envious of a leg humping dog. So thats good right? HaHAHAHA Too funny.


  • galfalfa gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks fader - glad it gave you a laugh Which bum do you want?


  • galfalfa gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh come on Terry - loosen up and get odd...it's fun
    thanks for the comment and applause - loved it


  • Ogreatbaldone gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    so this is what you are doing
    that you are no longer a mod
    making devices for screwing
    man you are really odd
    does it come in twins?
    I just thought I would ask
    because two rumps are better than one
    if, like me, you are up to the task.

    you are one crazy lady gal, you been eating paint chips again?...peace Terry


  • faderman1959
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LMAO! HA HA HA! Thanks for a great laugh gal!


  • urehooked
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    lol,excellent my friend,i needed a laugh tonight and you done that for me.You thought this out rteally well and i hold my hat up to you.Excellent

  • galfalfa gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, you're right John, I did have the regular folk in mind when designing this product - nuttin but the finest polyresin and used tires went into the makings of each and every one.. And since your one of my best pals i'm sending you a bum free of charge - your choice!
    Thanks for checking this out and your comment - loved it


  • J Rhys Davies
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Yippee!!!!! Finally a product that I can not only afford, but also have been waiting for forever and a day to come out on the open market. I know that the rich have this product available to them, but finally us regular folk can have the luxury of humping a rump in the privacy of our own mobile homes too. Woohoo!!!!

    I just love your humor girl!!!!!! And it sucks because I have to stifle my laughter a little being here at work and seeing this. shhhhhh………………

    ~ John


  • rainyday woman silver member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    grrreat

    need I say more ?


  • sarajaneUK
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    hehehehe

  • galfalfa gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LMAO...boy oh boy are you ever informed Are you sure you're not the one who started these parties? Sure beats the hell out of Tupperware You almost gave me an orgasm with that comment Chocolate syrup?

  • galfalfa gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    That's right Vonnie..any good business man or woman who knows their business will give a selection of the product ..some are bare and others the arse is only viewable to the humper
    As for my muse you ignited it with your contest - thank you for that Von and for your comment ...Loved it!

  • galfalfa gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Anything with a crack crevice or hole will do? Come to think of it I know some who would be happy screwing an armpit
    Thanks Michelle ...having you enjoy this means more then you know Loved your comment!

  • galfalfa gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh my! There are private sex parties? When Where Who What How - directions please Thanks for your comment Rose


  • rufina caraid gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    apoeticinjustice - your comment cracked me up

  • rufina caraid gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    just come home from a hard night's graft
    and i fancied reading something funny and daft
    when what do I see, from my dear mate Gal
    a humping dog, and a new little pal.
    As i read more and the screen showed me
    not one nor two but more than three
    bums or butts, rear ends, backsides
    rubber tushes both small and wide.

    My mate is back, she's returned, come home
    her muse is back from where she roamed.
    it will only be a matter of time
    before we see more work in rhyme.

    I've had a laugh, I love the pics
    but do these butts come wearing nicks?

    Welcome back you lovely nutter.
    Vonnie


  • Elrenia
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Well, while the subject matter may be off-colour, the execution is predictably on target. Well worth being late for work, just to read it. Thank you for sharing. But, on the piece, not the rest! lol
    Rous


  • heartnsoul
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    omg!!! wait a sec, have to wash the coffee off my screen!! Shoot my keyboard too! Now..."she's back, yeah she's back!" (doin my little dance around the chair) and on a roll too!
    This would be perfect for those times when that he man comes home sloshed (it's a hit or miss anyway and he wouldn't know the difference)or we're just not in the mood. Just whip that sucker out, turn on the tape recorder. "oh yes, that's it, harder!"
    Bravo! Bravo!
    I love it! Just love it!
    ~Michelle~


  • galfalfa gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks Josephine - glad you enjoyed this - a moment of silliness for me

  • galfalfa gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    COD'S..gee Leo, I dont know. As long as it's cash -we've had some bum cheques Thanks for the comment..loved it!

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant

    Lmaooooooo this is brilliant, I saw that humping doggy while out shopping and was sooooooo tempted to buy it Lol, you rock, this is just awesome Josephine


  • leo2
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Aren't you the clever one to come up with a solution to this pervasive male problem. I think this useful product of yours will exploit a vastly underestimated market. My best wishes in all your future endeavors. Do you take CODs?

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long

  • galfalfa gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Awww... Mari - sorry that you hated this. I feel like such an ass If there are any investment opportunities - i'll be sure to let you know. Meanwhile we could use another butt model...it would up your percentage Thanks for checking this out

    gal


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I hate this, and to be honest I tried to (uh) laugh your ass off - but on the other hand, if you truly have found a niche in the market, I'll be the first to invest in it!


  • dutch2lips gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    lmao !! omg this is soooo funny!!!


  • apoeticinjustice gold member
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    lol, I'd like to complain about the shipping, when mine arrived it had a crack in it.

    very amusing, well done.
    Rory

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