It's hard being Captain of such a big ship
and trying to stay single, when so cool and hip.
"Bones" always reminds me of all my past loves,
how they all flew the coop, like so many doves.
Then Spock will chime in with his logical whims,
"From all of that sex, there must be Junior Jims."
But as Captain, I always followed my creed
To only have sex when I felt the need.
Of course, there are things that I'd never report,
Like having the "need" at every starport.
But one port was different from all of the rest
This new girl I met would be my final quest.
She was cute as a tribble, so groovy and neat-o,
at first-glance she aroused my "Photon Torpedo".
When she bent over backwards and said, "Let's have some fun!"
My tri-corder readings said, "She is the ONE!"
I asked Scotty for a condom and he replied, really hot,
"I CAN"T GIVE YA NO MORE JIM, THAT"S ALL THAT I GOT!!"
But she was so beautiful, I ignored my old creed
To only have safe sex, or no sex indeed.
So now I'm retired with a beautiful wife,
We have 20 Jim Jr's. - I did well with my life.
I found me a girl who loved procreation
and gave the starship to my sons, to the "NEW GENERATION".
Author notes
Captain Kirk and Miramanee are the best
Written May 11th, 2006
A contest entry
- Star Trekkin' Across the Universe by XxGoldenxXDawnxX.
300 points, ended May 14, 2006, 3 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I do not know much about Startrek...but I must admit to laughing at this one ( a well needed laugh) so thanks , and best wishes in this contest,
xoxoxo
reenie
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Excellent
This is an excellent write
. Very well written and well done. Best of luck to you in the contest.
Cheers
Kirk -
Thanks Drivel, I think this one has staying power. Every time I read it, I still laugh.
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LOL this was awesome! so funny! i loved this! good luck in the contest, this is the best one i've read so far. thats including mine!
*loves* -
LMAO over Scotty's comment this time!
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LMAO - that's what you get for reading stuff like that in class.
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I am sitting in a classroom where I am supposed to be the teacher all upstanding and proper, and here I am reading of the antics of Captain Kirk. I laughed out loud with the Scotty line. Several kids asked what was so funny. I had to just smile and say - nothing you would be interested in.
Your humor and rhyme are spot on.
Susan -
I still laugh every time I see Scotty's comment.
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LMAO - so you're saying photon torpedo would work better? I'm off to edit. LOL
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OMG -- BIG BEAR?
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