who am I
a warrior strong
or child longing
for someones arms
comfort and protect me
reject my strength
yet i still grow
into what
i do not know
smiles fake
yet real for you
reach for sun
yet finding rain
touched by love
feel the pain
absorbed by earth
a child again
butterfly's touch
my simple heart
still wondering
what is my part
reject my strength
yet i still grow
into what
i do not know
Author notes
Written May 11th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- who am I ? by maa.
333 points, ended June 15, 2006, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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You have such a strong spirit dear heart, and I could really relate to this. It's beautiful, very nicely done.
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dearest shzoosy,
you have written a truly beautiful poem, coming from the depth of your soul. the fragility and incertainty you express through your words with so much simplicity and honesty, are really touching. I can sense some kind of surrendering to what life has yet to offer you, with open hands and an open heart to receive its gifts. I feel that this state of not knowing is actually very beneficial for us, if it is accepted, because even if we sometimes think we know, it might be that we don't really know ...
your admitting of not knowing really touched me, it proves of great humility and wisdom.
thank you so much for having offered us such a jewel.
-
From what I have read so far on your works, it sounds like you have had some not so good experiences and that I am truly sorry for. There is an old saying "We can pick our friends, but We can't pick our Family" Sometimes I wish we could. There is a pot of Gold at the end of the Rainbow, it just might take time to find it. Once we have flown the nest, we are the only ones who can make our own happiness and choose our own destiny. Don't let your past get the best of you. You will find happiness if you just open up your heart and truly believe.
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wow this is well written..I hope i can have the time to read more of your work..being new to this site and trying to fill my mind with words written by everyone has become a big part of my day now...excellent..
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this poem shows alot of heart
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this was an intriguing write,tone to it.
The images fused with sound created a dramatic
performance of isolation and abandonment.
There are so many things we take for granted in life.
So many of life's beauties go unseen or noticed.
In the stillness of contentment we are priviledged
to peer into the corridors of another dimension.
Thereby recieving enlightenment. -
good
hmm, an identitiy crisis? you are not used to having contradicting emotions?? My personality seems to be a mass of contradictions, and i always feel such.Good poem.You are strong. vulnerability is a risk , rewording or damaging.vulnerable is good, open to possibility. -
This is very well done. I can surely relate to this, growing stronger everyday but still not knowing who you are. Or maybe we just don't want to know.
Great rhyme and flow, very easy to follow and understand.
Thank you for sharing this with all of us. -
Great job on this! You opened up
yourself to write this.
Very well done. I wish you the
best of luck in the contest.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for always reading
and commenting on my work.
I really appreciate it.
Jeannie D
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Excellent
I love poems lke this quick verse yet still asking for that unknown answer. We all wonder what we will become or what we are for that matter. THe one thing I do know about you. you are a poet. -
Your poem reminds me of one of my own identity crises - I know, I pluralized that and I meant to. You probably know what crises I am talking about, so I won't go into that...and enough about me! I have come to know you a bit better on a personal level, so I know that this comes from your heart and not necessarily a need to vie for a trophy (although they are nice to have). Technically it's a wonderful write, as well as an artistic, well-conveyed message. Congratulations on the honorable mention.
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A beautiful poem.
Short yet holds so much meaning.
Delightful choice of words and unique imagery.
"feel the pain
absorbed by earth
a child again
butterfly's touch
my simple heart
still wondering
what is my part"
These lines are great to read.
Best of luck
Thank you for entering my contest
Keep the ink flowing
~Hana~
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not sure how I missed this one sissy but this is strong and powerful again from within as you always do well done
love and light
blaze -
Very nicely done. My only critique is that you perhaps use the word "yet" a little less. Other than that, though, well done and good luck in your contest.
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Well done!
Wonderfly written, well done! You have looked beyond and found confusion, but one thing remains constant in this..Your growing and into what? Into you...the beautiful amazing you, that can look where others can not, and question, seek and probably find......
God bless
~Aurine~ -
unsure of loves protect...a yearn needed to be heeded....doubts of where and what you are...left to only how you feel....reflections of our desires to be loved can only leave us content or empty
to be strong yet so vulnerable we at times all can be.....these thoughts are left pondering to me.....I see this with images of your expressed heart....love the writing....
Mal -
WOW! I like the rhymes
and the mood. -
Very nicely penned this tasteful piece of introspection is. Your honesty and sincerity are quite refreshing. Exposing your vulnerability like this shows you are a very courageous person. The rhythm and rhyme made this easy to read and understand. Best wishes in the contest.
Regards,
Leo Long
ps. Thanks for reading and commenting on my work. I truly appreciate it. -
I know exactly what you mean, i am caught up in this very situation.
"reject my strength
yet i still grow
into what
i do not know"
Those last four lines are beautiful and sum the whole thing up so perfectly. I love the rhymes i love the rhythm and none of it feels forced. I thought it was a great poem,
Mim x
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wooooow ! great entry ! i wished to know whether you can enter this wonderful poem into one of my contests ! just a suggestion ! anyway great write and best wishes in all you do !
your fan ,
truthwriter -
That really changed my mind about being a child.(13 is in the middle right?)
My Favorite part of the poem was:
butterfly's touch
my simple heart
still wondering
what is my part
Great JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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you can be both... a child needing love and protection.. and a strong woman to love and protect.. we are all both inside.. well real people anyway
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This is a nice and thought provoking piece. I like the nice blue background. That is a good choice. God Bless.
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