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Simple Poem to a Girl

A simple little poem
For a very dear girl.

There once was she,
With the long black braid,
And her curious eyes,
Not brave nor afraid.

She laughed and smiled
When my dress got all wet
On a trip to the beach,
That's where we met.

Yes, it was there,
Where Myself and I met.

Author notes


Written May 11th, 2006

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Arsenic-
    May 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Nice twist...had to go back back up a line or two to re-read after the end. Thanks.

  • Eulb kcalB
    May 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    interesting twist here
    very interesting indeed
    different
    self discovery can happen at the strangest times

    well done

    peace and love
    jamila


  • Onyx-Rose
    May 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    That poem is very interesting. I wasn't expected the ending which made it all the more better. Being unpredictable I mean. Wonderful poem, great idea for one too. I've never seen another like it. Keep it up, this poem kicks some serious ass.