Feeling alive in love
only a moment ago
my voice and whispers
end in tears as an
eroded bank of a
rising river.
Or rhythms and
waves of water
cold as ice.
Winds blow across
my flood of tears.
Wings outstretched,
an enchanted mournful
dove arrives
asking why?
Author notes
a little fantasy
Written May 10th, 2006
A contest entry
- ♥♥♥ Lots of Options, Lots of Types of Poetry, Lots of Stuff For You!♥♥♥ by xxRainbowDawnxx.
400 points, ended March 3, 2007, 63 entries
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375 points, ended March 21, 2008, 7 entries
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What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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great write.
very discriptive.
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This is really good. Very descriptive and original. Good write...Thanks for the entry and good luck!
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Thank you for entering this into my humble little contest, I enjoy reading authors that are new to me
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awsome, good luck in the contest
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Beautiful. A sad little fantasy.. although I can't imagine fantasizing to be sad, happy yes. Sad, not so much.
I liked the way you put this down, the way it just read down down down.. I tend to find when there are one or two words per line, I read the whole poem faster and faster until the end. Like a flood.
It's an interesting effect, I find, as a reader.
Thanks for taking the time to enter, best of luck.
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miss green eyes
Thank you for your wonderful comments on a mystery!! I feel you really read the poem thoroughly!! Many thanks...Warm Regards...vivela...And thank you for the applause!!
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Sad but beautiful fantasy... I love the image of the Dove. I once wrote a little poem about a Dove:
The bird of love is a Dove,
and of sadness I'd say the Crow.
For a Dove can make you in love,
but it can't let you let go.
It's so true though!! Thanks for the beautiful imagery.
x Empathic x -
Very metaphorical with beautiful imagery! I love your wording and the emphasis on certain words. Love is a very contraversial topic. I love the line breaks makes you realise the intensity of the words being said.
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i have to agree with the others... the imagery is great... short and beautifully written... only didnt like the title but i think thats just a matter of taste so yeah..... anyway good job!
Amy
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I LOVE this peice its SO descpiptive and i can imagine myself there DEFIANTLY!!!!The visual form was SO amazing !!!!I lOvEd it please read my new and old poems or if you want to you can leave comments as well.That would be nice acually okay byebye!!!
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Thank you so much for reading "a mystery" and for your very positive comments. I appreciate your encouragement very much!!
Warm Regards...vivela -
Very beautifully written, I loved the visual form and the flow. the thoughts conveyed are captivating. Great work. Keep your pen forever flowing!
Bunny
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grateful
Thank you for your so encouraging review. I need all the help I can get!! You really did help me!! -
Blissful!!!
Wow!! I love this piece, Vivela. Your visual presentation lead the reader to the very banks of your forbidden river. Such descriptive words you weave so well. You are quite talented. If you like.... please check out my poem "The River of Styx" as you may like the descriptive contradictions & enchanting feel of the piece. Thanks for sharing this, Vivela. Very well done!! -
You're very welcome, it's my pleasure! Take care!
Allen0826 -
Thank you for your wonderful review!! You give me encouragement!! Warm Regards...vivela
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I love the way you put this together. It's short and sweet with great imagery. A very tranquil setting and beautiful write. Thanks for sharing it!
Allen0826 -
Thank you. I like to play with the visual presenation of poems. I appreciate your comment...Warm Regards...vivela
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i love the format
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