A lioness which hunts no more,
To northern wind she's faithful bride,
She reached Eternity's wide shore,
Refusing to give up her pride.
Some quiet moments,on her own,
Are all her restless spirit needs,
Her mighty instincts never shown,
Were nothing for the Death but seeds.
Beneath the shadows of the night,
She waits in vain,too weak and lost,
Away from all the kingdom's sight,
And roaring helpless like a ghost...
A contest entry
- Alone but not lonely by Andu.
400 points, ended July 22, 2006, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Leo! by Polaja.
700 points, ended February 21, 2007, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Kindred Writer's (INVITE ONLY!!!) by PerfectImperfection.
600 points, ended March 25, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Significance of a Name by ScrewAllOfYou.
525 points, ended November 3, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - We are all animals by Darkwell.
500 points, ended July 16, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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a fellow Leo
this has such a fallen angel feel to it I love it. I enjoyed the flow an the rhythm an meter an the words you chose too. great write
WTG good luck in the contest
mreowrrr
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F -
One question: Why did you think that this would even stand a chance in my contest? Seriously now. It has nothing to do with you at all. So this poem has a lot of good comments, and a trophy behind it, so what? You think that you can ignore my contest prompt because you just feel like it? And by the by, "are all" should be "Is all". And each stanza is a run-on sentence. If you are going to use punctuation, use it right. I give this poem an F. You pay attention more to your rhyme than you do the actual poem itself. Not a poet in my book. -
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well smarty-pants, if you look closer you'll see that "SOME quiet MOMENTS,on her own/ARE all her restless spirit needs" has a plural noun that needed in consequence a verb at plural.second,this poem IS about me: I'm a LEO and the attitude in here speaks for herself."thank you dearly" for your comment!it means "the world" to me!
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I loved the poem, though I dont see the relation between the poem and your username. Regardless, it was a great poem. Thanks for entering. Good write and good luck.
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Even the brightest stars in all their awe and majesty fall frail and wither into oblivion...
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Fantastic!
I don't know if you are a Leo yourself, but you captured the Leo feeling really well...the lioness feeling .
I am a bit of Leo myself(only a bit, though. First day of Virgo here, but that's another story)...and may I say...
Man, this is pretty good!
My favourite stanza is:
"Some quiet moments,on her own,
Are all her restless spirit needs,
Her mighty instincts never shown,
Were nothing for the Death but seeds."
I can't certainly tell why this sounds so natural, but it does. And so, it got to be my favourite...but it was hard to choose.
The rhyme is perfect, measure's perfect, what more do I have to say?
Congratulations, lioness!
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I was withholding comments to be fair, and in that I felt I wasn't being so - SO then - just wanted to finish my thoughts...
A lovely interpretation of sadness and courage to within hopelessness. A beauty and expressive write!
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Thank you so very much for entering!!!
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This is a very well written poem ... short and concise, it paints a picture for the reader without overwhelming them with unecessary imagery and extravagant use of language. Beautifully frustrating.
Thankyou for your entry and good luck
Polly -
thanks for entering my contest, but unfortunately it doesn't follow the rules. it needs to have the title 'Behind the/my mask'. you can either change the title, or enter a new poem. thanks
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I like the metaphor you used here (I read the comment where you said this is a profile of you... you should add that in your author's comments, it really adds insight to the poem).I like the imagery you've used, very effective, well done! Thanks for entering my contest.
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A well done poem and an interesting character sketch as well... all the best in the contest, ea
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Good job!!! it was very unique and it caught my attention!! Good luck in the contest!!!!!!
Haley
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Oh my! The last line made me stunned. LOL. I wasn't expecting that as the ending, you know. A nice poem, this is so different. Your rhyme scheme is very good here, well followed from start to finish. Great work.
Goodluck in the contest,
Charishma
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