The feelings I used to feel are no longer there
Everyone around seems to occupied to care.
My parents have been yelling here lately I think its because they're scared
Afraid to lose each other to lose me afraid to find me covered in red.
People all need to push away from me
I'm emotionally disturbed darling cant you see?
Some who I thought were loyal have already pulled away
By night I'm a beautiful creature but Ill change when it turns to day.
My lips are as red as the crimson of which I drink
I drink until my hunger is satisfied then your blood amount will shrink.
I'm beautiful, a vixen, a child of the night
Ill mystify your wonders, Ill drain out all your light.
My pleasure is your pain
As I drain the blood from your pulsing vein.
With my charming body 2000 years old
I bleed black my heart is cold.
I can make it painless even give you twisted pleasure you ll love
If you don't cooperate Ill kill you after I take every drop of blood.
By first sight you'll think you love me
Touch me if you please, but its advisable to let me be.
I am a child of the night
Filling the world with vampriyc fright.
Author notes
This is another vampire poem I wrote today..im not sure if its so good tell me what you think and be honest!
Written May 10th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
-
Wow, this is really great!! Vampires fascinate me and you've really captured the essence of them. Great background too, it certainly fits.
In line two, it should bee "too occupied" not "to occupied" I believe. I also think you've missing a few commas (but I go comma crazy so I could be wrong. Other wise this poem has nice flow, great wording, and amazing imagery. Nice work, I'm gonna have to read some more of your stuff now.
-
CRAZY!
Crazy!This poem is awesome.I thought your other one you read to me was weird but this one tops it.Well keep writing.
-Matt- -
JESUS!!!!!
Jesus this is a really fucking good poem possibly the best one you've written on here so far man i loved it jesus im speechless.... man this is really good shit tiff man ud win like 40 contests lol well keep up the great work hun lol.
Love,
Jon. -
Good
Wassup. Your poems pretty good I like how it relates your life to a vampire and vampires are awesome. Some of your lines reminded me of the book series The Last Vampire it's sort of like the vampire is in that story.
Anyway good job and keep up the good work
(Just want to let you know, you've got typos in the 8th and 10th lines)
Adding your comment:
