Roses caress the sunset
And my dewy face shines with darkness
If only, if only
Wishing for what cannot be
Author notes
Written May 9th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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I like this. It could be a good beginning to a more lengthy piece, you know. The lines "If only, if only" could be elaborated on a lot. "If only, if only" what?
If only, if only
The roses were not so far away,
Not blooming on the horizon,
Not caught in the sun's fiery blaze
I don't know. That's off of the top of my head, so it's nothing special. My point is, you could draw it out a lot.
It's still beautifully worded in a nice simple way as it is. -
ohhhh, I liked this one
I just picked a rose today... but that's not the point
This was lovely and I know there is something behind it I'm missing. if only I wasn't just another lazy sleep deprived american and would take the time to re-read it...
glorious
-gibson


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