As Twilight kisses Dawn
and Stars begin to fade,
I realize how small I am.
My existence is a minute detail
in a splendorous cosmicality.
Yet, as small as I am
in this immense vastness,
I feel not insignificant,
for I am part of this grandeur.
In actuality,
I am not just an
infinitesimal speck
in the Universe.
In this flow of Time,
though I am just a particle,
a small piece
in the enormous puzzle
of Existence
I emit greatness,
for
I am a Woman…
the source
for Life.
Author notes
Written May 9th, 2006
A contest entry
- Round 1 EVERYONE by Heartofacircle.
300 points, ended May 25, 2006, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The X Chromosome (700 POINTS) by Shahrazad.
700 points, ended December 6, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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It is pretty baffling to try and comprehend where one stands in the universe. You had some great thoughts here- good job. Thanks for entering this in the contest and the lovely read!
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And indeed you are a woman, this was a very well done piece and I could feel what you were writing, thanks for sharing, keep up the awesome poetry and best of luck in this contest...(brownie points applause duh! hehe)
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YeaH!!! I love it...You did good with this...I like your take on existence...Trina.
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I loved this one because of the strength it shows and it contains such a wondeful message. You are always a joy and treasure to read hun. missing you and hoping all is well
huggles
~Lena~ -
You know, your comments are becoming less and less personal...no "I love yous" or anything...
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I guess it's ok to emit greatness, but I'd much rather you manufacture it. Sure... we are all tiny particles in this thing called existence, but some are bigger and more brilliant than others. Take a step beyond being the source of life, and be all that you can be. You certainly have the mind for it... greatness, that is.
Prince
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Yet, as small as I am
in this immense vastness,
I feel not insignificant,
for I am part of this grandeur.
In actuality,
I am not just an
infinitesimal speck
in the Universe
In this flow of Time,
though I am just a particle,
a small piece
in the enormous puzzle
of Existence
I emit greatness,
for
I am a Woman…
the source
for Life.
i don't know, just an re-arranging of stanza's and lines...i think this it comes off as 'a matter of factly' ... hope i didn't ruin anything. but the original poem does come out powerfully...a pretty good write for trying something new.
keep up the good work
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Thanks for the suggestion, but I usually don't write on that subject...I usually write love and erotica...this was just an experiment. Guess I just have to wait til my Muse reappears.
Thanks,
--Animepoetess
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heys the last stanza jus closes the statement kinda bluntly an not with as much flair as when you started. maybe try something else on the same sort of subject. it'll getcha back in the mood for that sort of writing an then you would have an easier time of revising.
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The last stanza seems rushed because it was...I developed writer's block, so I just foreced something out...I plan to revise it as soon as my muse re-emerges. As for the line, 'I emit greatness,
for I am a woman…'
the following line should clarify my reasoning...if not, then perhaps you are not reading it the way it was intended. I wasn't really going for a mood with this poem...I saw a picture that inspired the first two lines and everything after that just flowed. Thanks for the comment!
PS. If you have any suggestions on the last stanza, please let me know!
--Animepoetess
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interesting piece- I really like the introduction an first stanza but I didn't really find fulfillment at the ending stanza. It seemed to quick an dropped off to really give me thought. Just reading this piece without any notion of qhat your contesting for I see that you tell of understanding you have learned or at least known for some time an you pride yourself on it though hide it behind nervousness. Your words tell me that you know these things but its hard to voice it. The first stanza sounds so innocent an shy to the world while the second jumps into this new persona of a character that is full of life an understanding so it kinda confused me on what mood you were going for. The line that really got me was 'I emit greatness,
for I am a woman…'
You arent great for being a creator or being created? You arent great because you are a wife or a mother? Just.. a woman. Throughout time women have been pushed down an degraded and treated not of greatness and its always a curiousity of mine - why... Maybe your poem hints at the answer.. or who knows? -
i am in an ornary mood today
, so i will just tell u what i was viewing when i read this poem, the first two stanzas. i was picturing a very deprived man!LOL but dont listen to me, i can be dimented. very nice poem, and i agree with you myself as being part of the woman nature. good luck on your win!
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Very good
Beautiful put. Love the poem and the words. Good read. -
Wow alot of great details...This is really awesome! lol well cya
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