Colors streaming, flowing
as if the wind demands attention
because she is the cause and effect.
Natural mother of elemental structure and chaos
Nature's body
beautiful and alluring
as if we are one travelling in a deep forest glade.
Calling hither...
Moving beyond today and yesterday and tomorrow
because nature is,
but just out of reach.
Danger lurks beyond her...
See?
Lightning! Ready to pounce with one touch.
Colors streaming, flowing
as if the wind demands attention...
Author notes
Contest, nature picture one
Written May 9th, 2006
A contest entry
- New members contest - May 2006 by AP Greeters.
300 points, ended June 5, 2006, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Nicely written with some graceful images and ideas.
Font color is way too distractive to me and I had
to highlight to enjoy. Maybe had you gone just a
LITTLE bit darker for the effect I realize you were
trying to produce.
Welcome to the site!
:
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Yellow on white! Whew! I think I will now call my optometrist!
I loved the last three sentences which punctuate the entire poem very powerfully. Good job. Patricia -
First off, the color for the font will need to be changed.
It is completely unreadable until highlighted. But, we do what we must do to read the entries. For the most part, I think you did a good job with this. There are a couple lines that could do with some revising, but even with that said, you did well.
~ John
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Hi. U have made a good attempt here. But I literally have to highlight by blocking and then read it. Do you want to cause such inconvenience to the readers ? Please make it appealing so that they come to rad this again
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This poem is quite dramatic - it really draws the reader in,m and there are some nice images used in this poem.
You need to change the colour of the font - it is very difficult to read and this may put some people off. -
Firstly, I know that purple and yellow are complementary colours, but the yellow is really hard on the eyes (maybe you can put the main text in purple and the link text in yellow).
I like that you closed with your opening lines. It gives quite a dramatic feel to this piece. There was also a hint of imagery that allowed the reader not only to see but to imagine.
Thanks for entering, and welcome to the site.
Best wishes in the contest,
Stacy
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I agree with Kristy-ending the poem with the lines you began with, tie this up so nicely. Very enjoyable (after highlighting the font, lol)~vj
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I liked the way you began and ended this with te same lines. Your words flow together nicely throughout. A lovely write. Thank you for entering the contest and following the rules. Best of luck and welcome to allpoetry
~Kristy -
I think you have done a beautiful job with this poem here I really enjoyed reading it... one suggestion I'd like to give though: I almost killed my eyes trying to read it with this colours (I actually had to highlight it for a clear view). Maybe you can change your font colour to make it more readable?
also please remember to put the option you picked in your author's comment
thank you for entering the contest! -
You did an incredible job painting a picture for your reader here. One thing to keep in mind when you are posting on the site though, is reader visibility. Yellow on white does not show really well and it forces the reader to have to highlight your text to read it. You might try picking a shade of blue that matches the border you chose. Usually darker colors are easier on the eyes on white backgrounds such as this.
I think you did very well approaching the topic from a unique direction. I love the reference to the wind demanding attention.
Best of luck in the contest and welcome to AllPoetry.
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Sorry I can't read this write to comment on it, far too bright for my eyes, please if you could change the colour of the text, I might be able to read it then.
Dawn -
Very well written!!!!!
This was a very well written piece and the descriptions gave some very vivid imagery. You really painted a great picture of mother nature with this. If I might make one suggestion, change the text color so that it is easier to read. No highlighting will be necessary. Best wishes in the contest and thank you for sharing. Welcome to All Poetry and enjoy many happy hours on this great site. Joyce
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