My world came a tumbling down
On that December day.
I thought it was the worst of dreams
And soon it’d go away.
My baby lay upon a bed
So tiny and so frail.
Just one pound and three ounces
Skin so dark, mine so pale.
"He's just too small to survive,"
The doctor said to me.
"There must be something you can do
I beg of you, I plea!"
His heart would beat a little stronger
Whenever I was near.
He knew his mommy even then,
But could he feel my fear?
"Sometimes it’s easier for them to die
If you tell them it’s okay to go,"
But that was truly my worst fear,
And I wanted him to live, and grow...
So in those moments of selfishness,
I could not say such things.
Instead I prayed to my God,
Seeking miracles only He could bring.
I tried to make such deals with God,
Deals the devil might have taken.
And when He did not answer me,
I felt nothing but forsaken.
I knew my child was safe in heaven;
He’d traveled to that light.
But darkness filled my days and nights.
This was now MY fight.
I saw him still in all my dreams;
He seemed so very real.
He’d cry for me to hold him close...
How could I ever hope to heal?
My family drew me close to heart,
They cried with me each new day.
And though they could not really know,
They helped me find my way.
First birthdays and first Christmases,
The hardest days to breach.
First teeth, first word, first steps;
All the things I longed to teach.
Each month, each year, it eases more.
You learn to live again.
The memories you hold so tight,
Mountains over which I’ve been.
Those who’ll listen, and who care;
I’ve met several in short time.
Upon the pages of AP
You’ll find us here in rhyme.
These are bridges I have crossed,
That I pray you never do.
But I tell you this, with deep belief:
No matter what, you too can make it through.
Author notes
Written May 8th, 2006
A contest entry
- Heaven's Angel by daviscth.
300 points, ended October 9, 2006, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - #4 Losing a loved one. by xox-lankan-xox.
500 points, ended March 13, 131 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For Stavykm. by a.changed-soul..
1000 points, ended May 18, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tales Of Loss by peregrin.
450 points, ended October 1, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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This is pretty sad... but it is a great write, I am sorry for your loss. This is touching... wow
Great write. -
I'm So Sorry For Your Loss
I'm so sorry for your precious loss. Although it sounds to me you don't see your child being that much of a loss for he is in Heaven. I admire your bold faith and stable emotions for your loss. You are right that family, friends and AP has been also for me a great support during my grief and joyful moments. As you say your child is in a much greater place (Heaven). You talk about your selfishness for wanting him here and the dreams you had for your precious child to share with. In scripture it talks about grieving. Jesus even wept. I'm grieving a 24 year long relationship plus the time he was in my womb. Yes it is selfish for me to want him here with me in reality, yes I would agree. Touchy subject though for I grieve as a mother the marriage that was to be and we thought his fiance' was pregnant. Loss is loss and I don't minimize anyones loss for it is real and so unbareable at times. Your poem is excellent and you express very well with imagery, your spiritual beliefs and the flow is excellent. You are an excellent poetess and I feel honored you shared your poem with me during my darker days.
Many Blessings
God Bless
Much Love
Kelle Marie
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This was Marvelous!
Beautifully penned, I'm sorry for your loss...
The end was very inspirational "No matter what, you too can make it through."
Thanks for entering
and good luck in the contest!
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A very beautiful write and one I know will help my cousin in her grief in the days to come.
Thankyou for allowing me to use this in the book I would feel privledged too.
Thankyou again from the bottom of my heart...and I am truly sorry you have had to endure the same pain and sadness our family is experiencing at the moment...julie
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that was amazing!
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Thank you for taking the time to enter this contest and the best of luck to you.
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wow wow wow wow
Wow, OMG Trista, this is such a sad poem! I'm so very sorry for your loss. You deserve all the happiness in the world, I know your a strong person you'll get through anything. Everyone here cares for you, I do
. This was such an emotional poem, it brought tears to my eyes. I really liked how you worded this poem and how you expressed your feelings. This is just wow, I couldn't find a mistake, this was just so wow. This is by far one of the best poems I've read. I will be around to read and comment more on your poems. Thanks so much for entering this piece into my contest! Take care Trista!
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Thank you so much for the highly encouraging comment.
I'm glad you liked the piece. You've got so many great entries in your contest and I can honestly say I'm glad I'm not the one having to comment and judge them all. 
Good luck with the contest!
Best wishes,
~J.
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Excellent
The story is most compelling and stands above the words
Sometimes I ache for you knowing this
You have my heart and care
I wish I was there
Your Rick
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Cathy,
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful comment. Sometimes it's difficult to write from experience and not have it sound as depressing and sad as you feel, but it helps that I've had almost 12 years to heal and find positive ways of looking at things. I love contests like this that give people a chance to share their experiences and give support to those who need it. I know poems such as the ones you've gotten in this contest would have meant the world to me when I lost my son. Good luck with the contest and thank you again.
God Bless,
~J.
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trista sweetie, I am so glad you entered this heart-warming poem. i've read it more than once and it is simply running over with hope and love. It feels like the verses are taking me on a journey and there is peace at the end of the trip. Wonderful job my friend. thank you for this and good luck in my contest, Cathy
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This is wonderful, Trista. Thank you so much for sharing with all of us. Please know that you will help others through sharing your experience.
Kimberly G.
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deep
wow...I am speechless...thanks for sharing and best of luck to you in the contest...
Kari -
Oh trista, thank you for your wonderful, heartfelt message left about my piece and for sharing this poem with me. I am so grateful to you for everything you have said. Thank toy so much, Claire
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Beautifully done! I'm so sorry for your loss!! this is so sad and it has a wonderful flow, great rhymes, and so much love and emotion...Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
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i cant say much.
i know i will walk away with a broken heart and tears rolling down my eyes...
lovely well written piece
but yes... sad...
thank you for sharing -
Thank you so much for your wonderful and encouraging words. I was taught that God never gives us more than we can handle. When bad things happen, that just goes to show us how strong we truly are.
God Bless,
~J. -
In love with the poem
It brought tears to my eyes you are right God is holding the babe in his tender arms. My car accident I made deals if he would make me normal. My family could not handle what hapen and I felt forsaken and betrayed. I turn to God there was no other I could turn to at that time. Now I have a wonderful husband and freinds that love me. I had a bad chemical imbalance of the brain. They said meds may not help. With the new meds now I am better able to do normal things. Now I wonder after 25 plus years why did I suffer? What am I to do now. I think I know is tell people who have gone though hurtful things. WE do not know the reason why I do know what was to harm God work it to my good. My heart truly breaks for you. It somehting that does stay with someone. I do know God loves you. I do too.
Take care a wonderful poem.
Heart felt -
well what can i say this really did speak to me and it gave me that hope that light i so desperatley seek the words you say i to have been there, making deals and being left feeling forsaken, i am so sorry for your loss to of known a child and to loose it, there are no words to make it better, i am lucky in the fact i have had 6 amazingly precious years with my son, and all is not lost yet there is hope
thankyou for your kind words
abigail
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A beautiful poem, truly. And I do believe all that you say.
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this is so sensitivley wrote and so heartbreaking, so sorry for your loss and thankyou for writing this it brims with tears and also a hope, the hope she needs, nice flow and rhyme with the way the poem rolls off this story of sorrow
thanks for caring
love to you
ebony
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