I started to grow up yesterday
I started to understand the ways of the world
I started to grow upwards yesterday
and at the end of the day
I slid backwards
like a four year old
The rest of the day i was calm
I was mature
i took care of kids
then all of a sudden
i let my dad get to me
and i became one of those kids
i whined and complained
and i cried just a bit
and i was no more then three
I thought i was growing
i thought i had it down but
my life became the master of me
no more of this bullshit
no more of these tears
no more of being afraid
I'm sick of being controlled
I'm sick of feeling weak
there's nothing he can do
to make me feel less then two
I'm down at the bottom I'll reach back up to the top
I'll forget this nonsense and soon
after
I'll grow up
peter pan
never will
but I'm stronger than a man in tights
and I'm stronger than petty parent fights
i have so much in my heart
that his stupid words
can't tare me appart
My father can be disappointed in me
and that's just fine
but all i know and all I've witnessed I'm growing all the god damn time
Author notes
Written May 8th, 2006
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1 - 8 of 8
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nice poem i feel liek that at times but great write
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Excellent writing.
You are grown up now, so your father has nothing to say about you, or your life. You raise your children the way you want them to be raised, and show them the love, that he never showed to you, and the problems will outgrow the troubles. -
Excellent
wonderfully written, I like your work. -
I like how this poem starts because you are using simple words, but they show what you mean and possibly even more. It is open to interpretation. The day when you change ages, going back and forth without actually changing, is a great symbol. Also, these lines were my favorite by far:
"after
I'll grow up
peter pan
never will"
However, I also have a few suggestions that you might like top consider. Your pain and strength are very understandable, standing out at the end of the poem, but after the lines I mentioned earlier this starts sounding a bit too much like a statement. Like you were starting to experience a climax of those feelings as you were writing and you became too emotional. Maybe if, instead of this ending, you went on with some metaphor that would be easy to understand but still thought provoking and open to interpretation like the beginning, this poem could be even better.
Also, "then" is actually spelled "than" for making comparisons. And "after I'll grow up" should be "after I grow up" due to the temporal clause.
Anyway, this is a powerful poem, full of thoughts and emotions that really make it worth reading.
~Diana -
wonderful
clamchoder, if only I could have written that well when I was your age. You have a great talent with words, which can only get better and better as you grow. You're one of the lucky ones. Don't worry about your dad, all parents seem to see their kids in a certain way, even when they have grown and gone way past that point. Maybe it's a means of control, or maybe that's just the way they were raised, but either way it's a good opportunity to show you are above all that.
Keep up the wonderful works!
Scorpio Rising -
great poem. i grew up yesterday too!
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Been there to often.
I am an older more traditional poet so I prefer the left-justified format but that's just me. I've been a terrible speller all my life so don't take this personally. Try Copy and Paste to a word document and run spell check. neer is probably never and tare is probably tear. Every growing person whether 15 or 50 has been here. It is so frustrating to go back to a mental or emotional place you swore you would never go again. Just don't stop listening as you develop your own self, a self somewhat insulated from the opinions of others. All I can say after all the years I've been alive is that it does get better. S-L-O-W-L-Y. You nailed it, but in a few years you might want to rewrite it in a more universal tone, remove a few of the "I's". I like the way you can turn inexpressible emotion into the expressed. Keep writing. -
this seems to capture the hard part of growing up. beautiful angle!
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