Nut case, bolt hole
can a wing nut fly?
Nuts as fruits,
fruit loop, fruit cake
Dead Sea fruit, bad apple.
Nut case, bolt hole
screw loose, screwball
monkey nut, monkey wrench
monkey business
but can a wing nut fly?
Nut case, bolt hole
sledgehammer, hammer drill
drill bit
bit off more than I could chew
chestnut, off my chest.
Tool-nuts-screw-loose-bit of stuff
Nailed by sledgehammer
to crack the nut
nail in my coffin
screw loose, tool box, bolt hole.
A spanner in the works.
Author notes
OK, this piece of madness is dedicated to a friend who suggested I should write a poem about nuts (presumably because he thinks I am one - and this will probably provide him with all he needs to suggest I'm certifiable...). If any of this rubbish is inexplicable to those of you in the US I suggest a book called 'The Penguin Dictionary of English Idioms'! Love, Chilli
Written May 7th, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 53 of 53
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Life is strange......and so are you
First, love the poem, but I'm amazed and so would you be if you knew why. I can explain if you want but it's too long for here.Btw you missed an important nut - "jamnut".
Amazing - totally - Ah shak ma heid!
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Oh thank you! This is one of my favourite mad bits I have written. Please tell me why i would be amazed. I like being amazed almost as much as i like laughing... sorry still got sticky keys....
Ah shall shak ma heid too - are you in Scotland my braw wee pal? x
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Love it more
Copied, pasted, printed and pinned it proudly to the wall. Just knowing that I only have to find my glasses to have a laugh makes me feel good. Bye, want to go and read it some more.
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I have to take my glasses off to see the laptop and put them on for reading paper text.... and phone text..... 'get thee to the optician you mad wee woman', I hear you say!! The driving, well, I guess a lot - lucky you are so far away!! (Perhaps not! ) hey GR! Nice to know you xx
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ps..... need to add jamnuts...... x you made me giggle!
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For someone who can use 'wing nut" and 'Dead Sea" in the same verse squeezing in "jamnut" (although perhaps a touch eye watering) won't be a problem. But don't, because it's good good good as it is!
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Oh, and, btw, BOLTHOLE!
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Bolthole....jamnut... yes that might work! If you run into a bolthole too fast you turn into a jam nut. Complete nonsense, but that's what came out.
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Ouch, ma poooor wee jamnut..
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I will reciprocate with the printing... but may not be able to blue tack it to the kitchen wall..... !! um errrr. Behave! (as my oldest son used to say, when mama said 'behave', "I am being have......." x
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Rereading this one, it's really excellent. I like the way it circles through the free associations and hints at mania but never actually pins it down. Like the pure word patterns and the overall quality of surrealism and the lunacy of life yet remains joined up.
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Thanks for not punctuating!!! xxx you are such a wingnut x
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You got me to a tee.... I hint at mania but never actually submit!!! Thanks sunshine. I enjoyed reading this again too!! xx It brings back the quite good times!!
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fun and clever
wickedly delightful poem!
ears/Seattle sis
Pass the hammer please!
giggle.
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You were right! The levels of silliness are off the charts. These last two poems of yours I've read really inspire me to try and capture the sorts of things that make people smile. I'm always preaching for everyone to be happy and enjoy life and you're really practicing what I try and preach. Great, funny read and thanks for telling me about it.
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this is fucking wicked, one of the most refreshing and stimulating things ive found on this website. I really really like this.
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xxx bolthole!!
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Love this groovy work of imagination.
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hey billy boy!!! long time no parlez. Are you as young as the woman you are feeling?? And is that the slightest hint of a silly walk I can see darlin??!!! xx ps ta for comment..... debbers
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but no mention of chin nuts!!
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no win no fee
I'd have mentioned chin nuts if I knew what they were.
give me bullet points my beauty!! -
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Oh God I feel so cheap now, knowing what chin nuts are. Well its like this...
You know when you have a VERY intimate moment with your man.
And you agree to perform a VERY intimate act of love.
Well, then his nuts are on your chin! lol -
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I had a kind of feeling
that that would be the dictionary definition of chin nuts...... done it but just never called it that...!!! xx HNY chills x
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Excellent
Well that is the question of the century - can a wing nut fly..loved the poem and the tongue in cheek approach..very well written -
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thanks so very much for the comment - from your thumbnail pic you hardly look neandertal at all at all neandertal - more kind of army/navy and awfully smart as paint and red carpets.... xx ps not a criticism!! thanks again
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luvdrkchoc- I loved doing this - thanks for your lovely comment. 'Geecee' said I should write about nuts - he's doing Chekov at the moment so guess whos the clever one?!! x chilli
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I rarely write crazy stuff sunshine girl. Normally, I am here brooding and torturing myself!! thanks for your approbation xx chills
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You might try to wake up a wingnut by just simply winging his nuts................. big love, chilli (let me know how you get on.....)
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Wow, I find myself sitting here, wondering if you have read anything by William Faulkner? You expressed the same thought process, and relationship of words as he does. I am, simply put, speechless, that someone can have such a profound understanding of such an incredibly beautiful, insanely complicated, yet so simplistic train of thought. I absolutely loved this piece, so much that I'm going to spend points that I was previously saving to promote my own poem, for i have run out of applause for the day. It flowed effortlessly, and I can relate to your words in such a profound way, its almost scary. Brilliant...
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Great
Mad! I love mad writing that make such nonsense turn to sense. Very good 'of-the-cuff' piece. Sounds like you had fun writing this!
I've seen a wing nut fly, momentarily. It depends how fast you can spin it off the bolt! Also when my 3year old boy throws them across the room, LoLs. Keep up the great writing!
-Emmjay
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Wow!! This was really great! I love it and was just cracking up so hard I near fell out of my seat!
I think that I really did like this one because it had all these plays on words and alternate concepts or similarities or just drawing lines. I do that in my work too but nobody seems to get it. So I was very excited to see someone else who does it too and I just loved it! And your author notes were just the creme on the cake! You're a really funny person and you did a great job in expressing yourself today! So thanks for featuring this so that we all had a chance to share your words and humor with you!
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This poem was a joy to read. Thank you for publishing it. I like the change from each stanza to the next.
~Erin -
Lol. fantastic write, can a wing nut fly indeed? hold on, i shall go find out.........
well, if they can mine aren't. maybe they're alseep. how do you wake up a wing nut?
anyways, ciao for now, keep on writing!
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this is clever as all get out
that is good of course i'm jealous...i don't think i could ever write something like this! it's fantastic! i won't drool on your poem i will just applaud 
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LMAO!!!!!!!! This is great! I loved it! hope to see more pieces like this!
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Art - I have become used to going in a different direction. One day I think I;d like to relax and conform.... This poem was for 'geecee' who told me to write it. love, 'debbers'(as my daughter's friends call me)
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very interesting write. outstanding in your use of metaphore! i enjoyed it very much although it kept going in a direction i was not expecting. great job. thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
Walk with a ligh heart and heavy resolve~
~Art -
My friend is very special to me. He knows I think. And I think he's a bit of a nut too, so it's ok...... big love chills xx
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Tell him - my friend is 'thebee' here on AP. Some of his poetry is as weird. Ta 4 your comment - big love 2 u - I'm going to check out you...!! xx chilli
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Hey, it pays to be a little crazy. You can write magnificently hillarious works like this. I really like this piece. You should thank your friend for calling you a nut.
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No, as you told me, nuts don't feed woodpeckers - ants do.... big mwah, sissy
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I wish you could applaud twice too ........ ah, the clap!!! OK - much too naughty I know. What is wrong with me today? Been sniffing poppies again.
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I'm soooooo glad you like!! big love, debs
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I'm thankful for those
cranky cranks
or else I'd bee
unhugged
My thread was stripped
so long ago
that I was left
unlugged.......
Feed woodpeckers
or you'll have
ants
where you don't want them.................
life's pants!
Love, from her (certified)
Edited on May 07, 5:13 p.m. because ''. -
How far can
You be screwed
Into a nut
Until you lose
The thread
Stripped bare
Left cranky? -
Nutella on toast
Aw nuts don't feed woodpeckers -
Excellent! I like the way the patterns of repetition tie the whole thing together and the surreal wordplay. If I could applaud twice I would. vic
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Thanks Jeff!! I know - bizarre..... x debs
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Yes weird, and very funny...excellent
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I knew an old brit like you would get all this nonsense!! xx slaps
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Thanks Mr K! It is a wee bit on the strange side - 'thebee' told me to write about nuts...... so I did - bet he's sorry now! x d
Edited on May 07, 4:53 p.m. because ''. -
Yes! A wing-nut CAN fly, when I throw it out the fuckin' window!
I really like this piece, very clever indeed! -
Bonkers, brilliant,......it has to be Chilli...
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