You caught me
fingering cucumbers;
you looked rather amused
as I fondled the pertinent produce.
I know I blushed, and you,
you cocked your head and
raised an eyebrow
in wonder.
Author notes
Written March 7th, 2003
A contest entry
- Make me laugh by Black Mariah.
300 points, ended October 6, 2004, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - How Green is my Valley by NurseChilly.
440 points, ended August 24, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ode to Food by The-Singer.
900 points, ended October 16, 2007, 23 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 63 of 63
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Great write and very sensual.
The only gripe you put you twice.
Well done congratulations on your win, simple i find is always the best!
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Aww that's awesome.
First poem to read and already laughing.
Great work and good luck.
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rather pertinent little piece... lolololol
thanks for entering Danna...
smiles
G.x -
awwwwww....how adorable!!!! this is so totally cute!!!
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yum...
lmfao.
this is fuckin awesome
good luck!
luvya
~lyndo~ -
I like a poem that gives what it promises. A cucumber's tossed salade.
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Wow, this is so cool =) Cucumbers...they are fun...Never stop writing dirty humorous poems. They are the best =)
~Anastasia -
hehehe... a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste... well done!
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LoL (not to mention the dirty minds wandering everywhere...I have about three like this that plays on this humor...the best one being "The Real Thing" but then that was my first one written like that so I am partial to it). Good luck in the contest. Keep pen in hand and the ink to paper.
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Snort. Very nice.
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Your A Trip, Made Me Smile, Very Unique, Thanks For Sharing! ~Smiles~
-Timothy -
LMAO cucumber huh??? they don't vibrate, but guess they'd do in a pinch LOL jussssst kidding LOL ....thanx for the chuckles, this was soooo cute!!!
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Hahahaha..
Truly titillating tale!
I bet the man concerned has had some interesting thoughts on cucumbers since then! Good for you.
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A fun piece Danna definitely makes one think what problems that could arise had the cucumber been too ripe. The entire salad dish could be ruined hahahaha. -tj-
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Yeah!
This was so cute! Lol, and a cute title. Short n cute. I like your poems a lot. Rock on -
Cucumbers make me burp.
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Well, hey, a dirty mind is wasted on the men. Let's all have them!
Cute as all get-out
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ROFLMAO.. HEHHEHE very cute.. reminds me of a story from long ago in my past.. that I cannot repeat here.. but cucumbers..hhehehehe omg..!!!LOLOL thanks for the smile Danna..brilliant..
~GILL~xx -
need the giggles or a chuckle ck. this 1 out
LOL pc. loved it! think next time buying cukes in grocery, I might get the giggles if this pops into my head. Usd to raise my own produce, can't anymore. I may never go through produce part of store withot a smile on my face. It's just stuck their in my head. Cute and entertaining. Funny any subject can make a write. Who'd thought this would be the joke of my evening? Very creative -
this is priceless.....
now I just have to get the imagery outta my head..
excellent piece of fun and weaving.
thank you for the smile. -
Short and sweet..
and as always...wonderful, Dana
I have a poem that I had written about a peach.
I'm going to submit it...this week..
Luv you and your glorious prose..
Rhonda -
LOL. I love this poem!
it's so... honest!
thoughts should be private things
and people often get caught with their pants down, pardon the pun,
when people capture our private thoughts.
but then ,what am I talking about? this poem is about a woman
thinking of making a cucumber salad.
very entertaining poem! -
erm- my girlfriend just read a book called "Eat Me". If you enjoyed this poem, give it a shot, or at least try the first chapter, which does involve a shoping trip....
You don't have to stretch to make things work out, and it dosn't repeat feelings. I agree with cathedralheat, too.... -
i am on a new diet... good thing i wash the produce befor i eat it...
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silly silly silly & fun
Were they the burpless kind!!!!! LMAO
This was a fun write! Cucmbers huh? LOL >>~Laura -
Very Funny and Great
WOW, what a kewl and different piece, made me smile, hard to do these days...as you might know from my poem u just read! Thanks for doing that by the way, yah, its a rough situation, the unseen brusises are the kind the hurt the worse because they don't fade, they don't go away, they are ever-lasting...-sarah- thanks for supporting my work! -
That was hilarious. Kudos, I say!
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I love cukes lol
Never looked at em this way in the grocery until now tho lol
Suggestive somewhat this one is lol
Loved it
I got up a new one too
Come see me also
Luv ya
Susan~~ -
Lol oh dear..........cucumbers are great.
Gem xxx -
Great!
Cute poem! Made me laugh hehe I love cucumbers, there good with salad Anyway's, great write! Thanks for sharing!
P.S. Thanks for the comment on "A Tribute To A Dear Friend". It means a lot Take care!
James -
tasteful yet suggestive at the same time. Not many people seem to be able to do that and still keep a poetic element to the poem. Nice work.
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If you string the vines up, so the fruit is hanging free, you will avoid making them unnecessarily bendy,
Or do you like the curvature more uses that it makes… like for ease of cutting and not rolling off the plate!
What else?
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Next time catch him copping a squeeze on a cantaloupe or two and just wink at him...as you heft a cucumber and slip it into one of those long plastic bags...lol...quite a funny poem....and yes vegatables and fruits do have sexual connotations when just the right person picks it up and is checking it out.....an innocent shopping trip turned into a strip shopping experience..lol...Artis
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I absolutely love this. Such a wonderful little piece. It makes me smile and think of a husband walking into the kitchen while his wife is preparing dinner. And some how, I dont know exactly where I got this, but it makes me think of how that husband loves to watch his wife take care of him. Hmmmn. Kind of weird the things we think of when read others work.
Anna -
I needn't wonder.... heh. I only wonder what size cukes you like... lmao... sorry.
~~Ice -
7/10
My sister loves cucumbers she even has cucumber bubble bath, I have no clue what is so special about cucumbers...of course my favorite vege is mustard spinach, I guess we all have our own tastes. I also like okra with butter.
Anyways, lovely piece here.
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Dana,
From what you told me I would have thought it would have been zuiccnia. mom -
omgs danna!!!! i love this one. i hate buying zucchini and cucumber @ the supermarket. always feel like everyone is like... oh yeah wonder wot she is up to LMAO!!! now i take my new boyfriend with me... who is completely gay LOL. a gr8 piece hon.
love ya loads n loads,
xxx -
Awh! reminds me of the time my Father, thinking no one was looking and while in the check out line of the Super Market, took a very long wrapped stick of butcher salami and touched the end to my mother's rear-end. A lady accross the isle said "I saw that!" My Dad turned every shade of red possible. Kids and old folks, were all the same, hee,hee
Anyway, enjoyed a little light hearted humor.
~Mary O -
Great
How very creative, I like this a lot, thanks for sharing!
I appreciate your comment on the roaring river runs...
Thanks for your kindness and time.
God bless and take care!
~Timothy~ -
surely made me
and thanx for the comemnts on my haiku
i appreciate them
will you come read my haikus 'compulsive need' and 'perfection'?
thanx for sharing
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LOL LOL....how cute...NOW I know why hubby would always grin when we walked through the produce dept....LOL Jayydedd
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Am I allowed to say that cucumbers are so good to eat...liked how you finished this...Maria
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Oh Danna LMAO at this...this cracked me up the image of this is so cute
And missy what were ya thinking of doing with that cucumber??? Hmmmm
'cocked your head and raised an eyebrow' LOL that was brillant
Too funny girl too funny
~~Dawn
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lol love the verbs you used,
very nice touch,
short and funny,
made me laugh great job!
doona -
Very Funny!
My husband grows the large continental cucumbers - about 12 inches long - next time he asks me if I would like a cucumber - what am I going to say??? This is so funny Danna and I never really thought of cucumbers as funny - but I will now!
Von -
LOL! I'll never look at a cucumber the same again! Cute little write. Thanks for sharing!
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Funny, makes me wonder if you pick up guys at the supermarkets...well, it's a good one.
-Delia -
when they told us the cucumber story in first year i got dreams about giant cumcumbers dancing and we all had a party
then in year two i worked out i confuse cucumbers with marrows
willies are so damn weird
lmao "you cocked you head"
o subtle genius
fan fucking tastic -
Cool as a....
Hmm I'm not sure whether I am now meant to ponder whether other men's willies have eyebrows on them cos mine doesn't.
Cucumbers cost more calories to finger than you get from eating them I heard. Is that right? I don't know.
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Awww, lol, this is adorable Danna, really cute.
Didin't know what to expect when I clicked on this poem and lol, just cute...
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Oh, my.....*snicker*
I am going grocery shopping this afternoon, and if I burst out laughing in the produce aisle, I am gonna blame you!
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This is great! but I do agree with above... perhaps you have given too much information. maybe "fingered" and just: "I blushed at your raised eyebrow"... remember to understate... still this is GREAT!
Thanks for sharing,
Mike -
R O F L M A O !!!!!!!
oh wow.i can never look a cucumber
the same way again.
Oh the mental images brought to mind.
I do hope you enjoyed your....
........errrrmmmmmmmm......SALAD.lol
Love the humour.
Ann
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are you giving him ideas dear?
this is too cute! -
heh, too funny. hope you practice 'safe salad making' lol!
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Excellent +
OMG Danna .........again you managed to make me laugh. BTW , we grow some wonderful ones in our summergarden { different varieties , colors , shapes and sizes }
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i really liked this piece
i agree with redstormy,
it was very cute.
it was short, yet to the point.
although i have to ask along with many others, how big was it. teehee.
great poem.
i shall get around to reading more.
great job.
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lol Danna cute very cute,
Red -
classic! hahahah its half the reason i dont buy cucumbers - yet i love them so much - but not THAT much ehheheheh lol
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TO MUCH INFORMATION
TO MUCH INFORMATION
TO MUCH INFORMATION
LMAO
you are to funny...but now I know that I cannot eat salad at your house...well either that, or I know have something to tease Todd about, and make him blush like no other..wait, I do that anyways...just get me drunk, and I flash everybody like my birthday...lmao...you are to funny, but now I have to go get good thoughts in, bad thoughts out...hehe love ya ~~Jenn
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Lol...Love this humor, so innocent and so racey. My question is: Did you make eye contact while you were fondling? Good one, Danna.
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LMAO
Ohhh
Were they big ones
Or maybe crooked..
Maybe with extra ridges
roflmao
So bad.
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