Earthquake with its shifting plates,
Leaves a path of rubble.
Tumbling buildings over,
And causing lots of trouble.
The after-math is not good;
There are people dying everywhere;
And his parents too.
He's left to guard his sisters
He had three that morn'.
He was lucky though, those Misters
Helped him with his search.
He found only two sisters alive that day,
And raised them all alone.
His last sister was found under a collapsed archway.
Under brick and stone.
Author notes
Option One. -- The second picture.
Written May 6th, 2006
A contest entry
- New members contest - May 2006 by AP Greeters.
300 points, ended June 5, 2006, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Goodness this was cutting and rather sobering. A good application to the subject.
Form and rhyme could use a little tweaking.
Welcome to the site. Warmly, CookieZeal
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I have to admit that the second stanza caught me off guard. The rhyme and rhythm were so pleasant in the first that I was suddenly stunned. Otherwise, you did a good job, and yet I believe your approach is a bit confined. Work on the second stanza, and you would enhance this poem tenfold! Good job. Patricia
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This seems quiet strange compared to the other poems in the list. But thats your view. Good and well done. thanks for the entry..
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As I read this, I kind of felt it was a little bit of a stretch on the subject for the second image. It’s of course just my opinion. Since it was more to deal with society and how it damages Mother Nature, or at least that was my take on what it was. I guess it is all a matter of perspective. All in all, you did a well with this.
~ John
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This was an interesting poem - it is true that mother nature is violent, but the amount of natural disasters that happen these days make me think that us humans must have caused them by the way we treat the planet.
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I didn't expect that ending, but then again seeing that this piece was for the second picture then it was most appropriate to show the merciless side of nature. Unfortunately, many can relate to this, though I strongly believe we are the ones that cause her to be so threatening/damaging at times.
Thanks for entering, and welcome to the site.
Best wishes in the contest,
Stacy
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You've showed that side of Mother Nature when she is at her worst. We can either adore her when she is good, or fear her-shaking in our boots when she turns a different shade of weather. Good job on this entry.~vj
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Well you definately took the picture from a whole other perspective as I was looking at them, but I actually do like that thank you for entering the contest, I wish you the best of luck!
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A very well written piece that tells a touching and sad story..you did well writing out what the picture inspired in you. Thank you for sharing. Best to you in the contest and welcome to the AP
~Kristy -
Very well written!!!!!
This piece showed the effects mother nature has on our world.
You didn't make it too gory, it lets the reader know in a way that holds their attention. Very well done and I wish you the best in the contest. I see you added your option there, you must still choose which picture you got this feeling from.
Welcome to All Poetry and enjoy many happy hours of reading and writing while on this great site.
Joyce
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I like the way that you Approach this topic. For little desciption with your words, I thought it to be quite a shocker! Well done on this write and good luck in the contest.
welcome to the AP site
Dawn -
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I like your unique approach to the topic. Be sure to put your option choice in your authors notes though so you will be in compliance with the contest.
This is a sort of stark and shocking piece even though it doesnt have a lot of graphic description. It still strikes a blatant picture in the minds eyes and gives the heart a tremendous tug.
Good luck in the contest and welcome to AllPoetry.
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1 - 12 of 12
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