Tell me, Mother, what have I done
So many of my brethren have been gone
They get to come back home to you
And there are others that have to suffer through
Misery and pain
Your tears are now resembling acid rain
Mother, your womb quakes
Automatic spasms to try to wake up the fakes
I can hear your cries amongst the poor
And others knocking upon the door
For relief
Mother, please let them in
Why should they have to pay for my sin
I know I took your beauty for granted
The mountains that were slanted
Are slowly leveling out
I want to know what it's about
Mother, are you going to save your children
Or do we have to save ourselves?
Author notes
Option 1, Picture 2
And lookie, the contest ends on my birthday! How amusing.
Written May 6th, 2006
A contest entry
- New members contest - May 2006 by AP Greeters.
300 points, ended June 5, 2006, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gorge by Annalise.
300 points, ended December 30, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
What grave images you give us. Good application and entry to the criteria!
Form is good for the subject matter. Thank you for entering. Warmly, CookieZeal
-
Sad indeed. A wonderfully written piece, and I enjoyed it very much. Your rhyme is good, and I like how you have used so much emotion in it. Good job. Oh, Happy Birthday!
Hugs, Patricia
-
I think you did a nice job with this. You expressed your feelings well and kept the option you chose strong. I would only suggest possibly considering a little revision here and there due to flow. But other than that, this is nicely done.
~ John
-
Slanted mountains are leveling out.. ?
Where at ? This was written very w ell. Good job dear.. keep it up. And Advance wishes for your birthday.. Lets see, your Bday gift!!! even otherwise, you have all our wishes.. God Bless you..
-
This is a very interesting poem and I found it wonderful to read. You use great images and really make the reader think about the situation with our planet.
-
You approached the image from an interesting perspective, and I liked how you expressed your thoughts. Also, the rhyming was good for the most part.
Thanks for entering, and welcome to the site.
Best wishes in the contest,
Stacy
-
Great flow and rhythm here-makes for easy reading. I liked the way you approached this-pleaing with Mother Nature for mercy, s it were. This line "Mother, your womb quakes" conjures up such a vivid picture-I loved it. Best wishes in the contest!~vj
-
I really like how you used personifications within this poem here a very clever and in fact beautiful take on the picture this is
thank you for entering this powerful message in the contest - I wish you the best of luck! -
I can hear it a song too! Great minds think alike, no? Thank you for your comment.
-
Excellent job writing your thoughts out here..
as I read I heard a song in my mind.. I think these words could be put to music quite easily. I enjoyed reading, thank you for sharing your talent. Best of luck to you in the contest. Welcome to AP
~Kristy -
"It is we the people on this earth that destroy so much of what mother nature gives to us and we need to wake up to the fact that future generations are going to lose out on the beauty we have gotten to behold."
As well, I read a quote somewhere(I cannnot for the life of me remember who had said it) but it was:
'The Earth isn't given to you by your parents, but loaned to you by your children.' This quote, as well as the picture was inspiration for me throughout the writing of this poem. -
Kudos for such a great write!!!
Bravo!!! Bravo!!! Bravo!!! This is an excellent piece with such vivid imagery. So thought provoking. I love how you pose the question in the end about having to save ourselves. It is we the people on this earth that destroy so much of what mother nature gives to us and we need to wake up to the fact that future generations are going to lose out on the beauty we have gotten to behold. This was just so impressive and the rhythm was great. You captured and held my attention from beginning to end. Please don't forget to put the option and picture number you chose in your author comments box, I would hate to see you lose out at a chance for placing in this contest. Best wishes and welcome to All Poetry, you have chosen a great site to read and write. Joyce
-
WELCOME to the AP site
I like the rythming that you have going with this,not falsed. Quite a vivid write that you have done but I did think that it was a good read. Well done on this write and good luck in the contest
Dawn -
-
Thank you for your welcome. I feel at home here.
-
This write is quite vivid and thought provoking. It leaves me with considerations of the price to paid for being inconsiderate of future generations.
Good luck in the contest and welcome to AllPoetry
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
4 old applause
