Looking amidst two beads
of turqoiuse ocean,
my heart makes a
gigantic leap,
tides of emotion
wriggling ashore,
my world so
amorous deep...
your breath fills
my ambience,
and adorns
my soul,
i bathe in your
love-potion,
and crowning is my
guiding pole...
your fingers
entwingling mine,
and then they
run down places,
In unconscious fathom,
and passionate embraces...
minutes like ages,
breaths are whispers,
enticing lips unite,
in hypnotic fervour...
Author notes
Written May 6th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Nice work. Even eroticism when given in excess would turn to be a poison. Yours is just but a healthy potion. Great poem. Keep feeling great. I would be happy, if you could spare some time to stamp your impressions on my poems
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5 Stars *****
WOW.. this was Awesome... truelly a peaceful romantic poem.... I hardly enjoy free forms, and this one is simply outstanding write.... I think you came back with a BANG.. on AP.. with all these fabulous poems... this one especially made me fall in love with it... your diction... your presentation.. your emotion.. the depth.. everything was perfect ...
nice write.. good work.. thanks for sharing my dear sister..
take cares and have a nice time my dear friend.. just keep it up.. your humble little friend...
.... 
... ... - vic ( who else? )
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I loved this piece of yours- though very different from the rest of your poems yet it has the same artisary in it-you have managed to put some very wonderful strong emotions into this poem with such expertise that it sounds and flows so beautifully- an excellent job done here
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scoobies
this is some sexy writing right heres my man. i think im arroused..hehe. um...i think the english was a good choice cuz most of us on here tend to read that better. liked the concept. loved the content. rhyming didn't hurt the piece in this case. imagery. like i said very sexy. keep it rollin! now it's time to print this out. find a window with a pretty face in it. and melt there heart through there chest.
--nicer -
your breath fills
my ambience,
and adorns
my soul,
i bathe in your
love-potion,
and crowning is my
guiding pole...
That is certainly my favorite verse of the poem. Your ryhme seems alomst effortless, and that I know to be a truly wonderul gift. There is honesty in your piece. It is gorgeous and simplistic! Excellent piece, dear Writer! -
puts the heartbeat in beautitude.
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Great Scotts! What a beautiful poem! It is rich with imagery and flows easily down the page! Beautiful!
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blessed are thee... wow this is really reflective, descriptive and parsiminiously beautiful, I agree that the 'I' ought to be capitialised, anything that takes the reader out of the flow and up to the surface is bad and intentional grammatical errors do that (though I may be the pot calling the kettle black, I revile the quotation mark!)
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You did great with this. It flowed perfect and created vivid imagery. Ty for sharing it. Trina.
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this gave a vision i must say keep doing well
love the papa -
Your username tempted me to click in here...sounds like indian
? ..anyways your poems flows so strong with the rich metaphors used here...its similar to the style of my free write ..I feel you should capitalised your "i"s....you are just going all good 
Ankita
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Beautiful piece, soft and alluring filled with vibrant images and wonderful metaphors. Loved the flow and feel. Excellent piece from start to finish! Keep your pen forever flowing! Bunny
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Good start
Your last stanza is so strong! I was a little thrown by all the adjectives in the first stanza, but that last stanza makes up for it. I think you have a lot of potential.
Thanks,
Anne -
Soft and Sweet!!!
This is beautifully amorous my dear. I feel as if I have invaded into your private garden where you grow your secret flowers and cherish them in a serene ambiance. Full of tender love that springs from the very depth of your heart anf flows gently like a river in a verdant valley.
The imagery is perfect and the metaphors are adoring and admirable. You are a great poet in the making already amazing the readers with your beautiful wordplay.
Love and blessings from Coimbatore - Joel -
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