When i pass
does your heart skip a beat
as mine does
or do you notice
When i look at you
Do your eyes freeze for a moment
as mine do
or do you notice
When you say my name
Do your lips freeze
As mine do
Or do you notice
When i shed a tear
Does you stomach drop
As mine does
Or do you notice
When you remember me
Did you brain shut off
As mine did
Or do you remember?
The way i breathed so sharply
The colour of my eyes
The taste of my lips
Or was it all lies
The way you whispered in my ear
The way we intertwine
The way you stroked my back
Or your hand felt in mine
So tell me all right now
Becasue i really need to know
was it all true
Or was it just for show
Author notes
Written May 5th, 2006
A contest entry
- Teenage Love Poems (May Be Prewrites) by ChrissyJean.
330 points, ended October 8, 2007, 49 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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i really liked this poem to! I just love reading poems on love & heartbreak. I don't know why, but i do.
great job
xo
kandy -
i really liked this congradulations!
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Lovely poem. I really like the repition in this poem!
I especially loved this stanza:
When you remember me
Did you brain shut off
As mine did
Or do you remember?
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I am speechless. This piece hit home for me too. I just love this poem!
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This had an excellent flow(I like poems with rhythm) It is simply beautiful. Sometimes we wonder!!!!!
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this is really good but it seems not quiet finished but it's definity getting somewhere,..it's excellent well done
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good
This was really good needs alil work it seemed as if you lost a line or thought in it but all over good keep it up -
Excellant
I really enjoyed your poem. Good work. I like the repetition that you have on the first four stanzas. It really adds more of a punch to the overall flow of the poem. I could feel the emotion that your are expressing of wondering if your are being noticed and wondering if he feels the same about you or just lying to you. This is an excellant write. Keep writing your great poetry. -
This is really wonderful. It sort of stunned me. Your writings are really good.
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wow! i loved it! and it really touched me because it kind of describes my last relationship, the way i felt after it was over! this is a great write!! i haven't read all your work, but if it is anything like this, than you better keep writing!! because you have true talent!! and by the way, thank you for your comment, it meant a lot! keep writing!!
---Brooke -
a broken heart never mends
great poem. i loved the way if flowed and expressed all of your emotion. i was beautiful. very nice
beachgurl22 -
Great poem, it flowed beautifully, I loved what you said about eyes freezing for a moment. I thought that sounded really cool. Wonderful work, keep it up. ~peace~RynnPuddle
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That is really really beautiful, it seems like you put alot of effort in it. keep writing!!!!!!
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Oh, how I have been there.
Great depiction, love. -
This seems like it's not quite finished to me but it is really going to be awesome when you are all done with it.
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