Alone with a constant flashing of my life
I contemplate my being
From the past I grab on to the future
Trying to rearrange the structure
Bricks fall down
Bricks go up
Walls come down
Walls go up
Feeling I have to constantly protect myself from caring
Holding back when everything inside me wants to let go
Searching for signs and answers
Have I charted the path I am on
Or have I subconsciously taken up the path that is easiest?
Am I alone because I want to be or have I accepted being alone
As part of my existence?
I have reached for hands to join me on my journey
Some are weak and are shaky from fear,
Others are strong but not true to their grip.
And yet when the hand fits perfectly and feels balanced,
A multitude of insecurities emerge from within me
Must we give things up to obtain other things?
Do we give with one hand and reach with the other?
Is there a balance?
We evolve daily
We dream dreams
We love lovers
Is this our evolution?
If we stop dreaming and stop loving, what do we evolve into?
I reach
I love
I give
I take
I want
I need
Author notes
Written May 5th, 2006
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Causes me to ponder . . .
This is full of the conflicts existing nearly at every turn as we travel the journey. And you captured what I, myself, have questioned if I have truly sat down in the quiet, the dark, to reflect on myself just as you have done here. I can't quite put my ponderings to words as you have done, with honesty, depth and more, because I'm still confused; rather, I'm dealing with too many conflicts, outward and inward, to even hazard an attempt at putting such down for others to read. Yet, you have, even without providing answers, you still opened that vein of persistent questions for which I'm beginning to wonder if there are answers. Even theories would work for me right now. LOL! Thank you for this. I don't feel as alone as I did, though, yes, I have accepted my aloneness even though it was not chosen. Be blessed! Love your author-page and all such entails. You epitomize the soul of a woman!--Kel
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mY DAD ALWAYS TOLD US GIRLS DONT JUST LOOK AT THE MAN YOU FEEL YOUR FALLING IN LOVE WITH LOOK AT HIS DAD AND THE WAY HE TREATS HIS WIFE . For the one you are with in time will treat you in the same way. It made sence and it is oh so true. We are what we are taught as a child.
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I love this also. You are very talented in putting what you feel into your writing!!!
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this is magnificent..these questions i have pondered myself
Am I alone because I want to be or have I accepted being alone
As part of my existence?
I have reached for hands to join me on my journey
Some are weak and are shaky from fear,
Others are strong but not true to their grip.
And yet when the hand fits perfectly and feels balanced,
A multitude of insecurities emerge from within me
fear is such a crippling emotion..we can lose out on so much just because we are scared of failing and even more sadly we fear winning or of being on top...interesting way of relaying these questions my dear!!! there is a balance we just have to be willing and strong enough to find it ...well done
love
jamila -
deep and powerful write I like the questions hard one to answer your words flow with ease and like the story line this is just all put togather wonderfullly well done
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It's hard when we make ourselves vulnerable to abuse when it comes to giving, caring, loving, etc. I like the way you depict these emotions (and others) within the context of this poem. It's an interesting slant to address and yet we carry on doing the loving, giving, caring, etc; because if we didn't we wouldn't be true to ourselves. I suspect that you are a very giving person and I would say 'don't change'.
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Thank you..Theroseislovely
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wow!
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Again I thank you...Glad you found this one special enough to print out and have in front of you..I do appreciate your comments. It gives me some perspective on how people view my work...
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Of all yours that I have read ... this is the most poetic. The others are filled with the emotion of discovery and joy and loving ..... but this one is a poem! I copied this one and hung it above my monitor. Again, Love from the desert. Great write.
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wow. i like reading this poem. it encompasses so many things in life...i thank u for writing it....it's a very nice read. again thank u.
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Thank you so much for your kind words. Life is tough at times but we need to hold on...thats the hard part..
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wow! that was awesume! ill join with you on your journey my hold will be strong and true. you did great. total ten. very good.
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