maintaining innocence

Grasping for all that is out of reach
everything seems so far away. . .
wish these shades of doubt would fade
Don't want to be jaded
Anymore
     i wanna feel
            my spirit soar
wanna be
Innocent like back when i was a four year old

Examining buttery rays of sunshine
Blinded by time's infinite line
Spying behind daisies
and trying to find
Blazes of triumphant glory!
You know like
in those fairytale stories
where the prince always steps in
sending his lucky girl into neverending

              spins of lazy joy

                             and grins

idle afternoons lending their noses
to the smell of freshly cut grasses
laying themselves
          beneath
      swaying trees
catching snatches of the passing breeze. . .

stashes of happy memories brashly laid away
for a rainy day when the warmth of true fire begins
to extend,
bends that horseshoe to fit his white ride
we fly off into the night
wouldn't it be nice?
bona fide love in every stride . . .

but I gotta toss that dream aside cause
it's just a fairytale
fraught with lies
and out cries this childish
Frustrated pride
That the world isn't how they said it would be. . .
They betrayed me!

Left in the dreary realm of real
Dying piece by piece, I feel the exterior
Of  my ideals peeling themselves away
Straying from my beliefs fraying underneath
This seething loyalty
To the supposed truths I wish so badly to see in this
Lifetime  
I want nobility!

        And inner Peace!

Impossibility overwhelms the senses
Is it true that everything's useless?
I ponder this and confess
That yes it is, probably. . .

But that little voice inside you see
Still struggles heedlessly in its belief
That my dreams can become a reality
And that's how I know that I'm still me!

And I just gotta say. . .
What a f***ing relief!