She's there if you would only look:
in grass and trees and babbling brook,
winding rivers and ponds and lakes,
all night long and when new dawn breaks.
She's there if you would only hear:
in sheep and cows and birds and deer,
in clouds above that carry the rain,
of everything which we call terrain.
She's there if you would only see:
in berries and all fruits of the tree,
in wasps and bees and frogs and toads,
public pathways and countryside roads.
She's there if you would only feel:
the flora and fauna that makes her real,
Mother Nature some people would say,
to me she's Aura - I see her every day.
Author notes
Picture 1
Written May 5th, 2006
A contest entry
- New members contest - May 2006 by AP Greeters.
300 points, ended June 5, 2006, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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What lovely references and treatment to this theme.
Well written with unique phrases and words.
rhythm and rhyme well proportioned overall. I would have
liked the last several lines to have better syllabic symmetry.
It jumps when resolved. Nicely done overall.
Warmly, CookieZeal
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I love the peacefulness of this piece. I'm glad someone decided to write something positive about our Earth. I enjoyed the rhyme and the flow, and I really think you should be pleased with yourself with this one. Hugs, Patricia
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I think you did exceptionally well with this entry. The rhyming was done nicely as well as the very strong message within the lines. Nicely done indeed.
~ John
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Hey, I loved this. I can see the
happy face of Mothre nature after a lot many w rites. Really gorgeous. Keep it up and good luck in the contest. thanks for bringing in the to the contest
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This is a wonderful poem. It expresses many sentiments I agree with and is great to read. You use some wonderful images in this piece, and it flows resally well.
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To me, this piece has a sense of an awareness to it. Quite a good interpretation of of the picture! I also enjoyed the rhyming and almost flawless meter.
Thanks for entering, and welcome to the site.
Best wishes in the contest,
Stacy
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Terrific inspirational write here. A favorite amongst the readers, obviously~vj
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I absolutely enjoyed this poem to the fullest! You really have a wonderful take on the first picture here, so much positive feelings you radiate within the words very well done!
thank you for entering the contest and for following the rules
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You have a very nice rhythm to your words and some lovely images throughout. I think you did a wonderful job writing how the picture inspired you. Thank you for sharing, best to you in the contest.
welcome to AP
~Kristy -
Excellent work!!!!!
What a lovely view I had of mother nature while reading this poem, it was filled with wonderful imagery through your words.
I think this flowed softly as I pictured all the lovely surroundings. The rhyme and rhythm were great here. I did notice you held to tetrameter throughout most of the poem here, which is an eight syllable count per line. If I might make a couple of suggestions for the lines that didn't hold the same and it is up to you of course because it still sounds very nice as is.
In these two lines you went to 9 syllables,
in clouds above that carry the rain,
of everything which we call terrain.
that can be easily corrected by taking out the word "the" before rain and the word "which" in the next line.
From these lines,
in berries and all fruits of the tree,
in wasps and bees and frogs and toads,
public pathways and countryside roads.
You could remove the word "the" before tree, and just say "country" instead of "countryside".
And in these lines,
the flora and fauna that makes her real,
Mother Nature some people would say,
to me she's Aura - I see her every day.
You could remove the word "the" before flora here, you can take out the word "would" in the next line and the last line is a little tougher as you jumped up to 11 syllables there.
Perhaps saying, she is aura - it's seen each day.
Again these are just suggestions. I do love the write and thought maybe you would like the whole thing to be in tetrameter. You might want to write it out with what I mentioned and see if you still like the flow. Best wishes in the contest. Also in your author comment I know you stated picture 1, but I believe Leander also asked for the option number as well. Excellent work here. Keep it up. Welcome to All Poetry and enjoy many happy hours of reading and writing on this awesome site.
Joyce
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Suck a good clear image is left with the reader when reading this write. Very enjoyable for the reader. I love the flow and the rhyming that you have going with this. Well done and good luck in the contest
Welcome to the AP site
Dawn -
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Very enjoyable to the eye and the imagination. Sometimes we must look harder than others, but the beauty of Mother Nature is always within grasp. Great flow and nice rhyme.
Good luck in the contest and welcome to AllPoetry
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