The horses are restless - there's fear on the breeze,
As though a fierce tiger was haunting the trees.
And at our camp fire that is banked by the wood
You couch in your furs, pulling closer your hood.
You gaze hard at me, and I see from the skies
Reflections of Rigel swim deep in your eyes.
Without any talking you draw yourself near,
And nestle to me in the chill of that fear
We need at this moment to season our love,
While brashly the moonlight flows down from above.
Then I feel your face come alive in its cowl -
Your senses are roused by a faraway howl...
Oh what is the magic that draws to this place,
That quickens your breathing and makes your heart race?
The wolf in the distance - your sister or dam?
Or are you its prey, like a poor, tethered lamb?
I hold in my arms little more than a child,
So thrilled by the moon and the call of the wild.
Author notes
Written May 4th, 2006
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I feel that too, very much. Thank you for your assessment of this one. It rather follows on from a previous one about the Great Wall ("The Wedding Gift" - a contest poem), and the whole thing crystalized later into the more recent vignette "A child of the air".
I would submit many of my poems as pre-writes, if I stumbled across the right contests. I think what I want more than anything else is to be read.
Thank you and best wishes.
Marie -
You have mastered this meter well. You and I have such similarities with our poetry in styles and forms. I feel connected to you with each poem I read! Beautiful job!! All my best,
Belle P.S. You should consider submitting this as a prewrite somewhere. xx
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Thank you, Nevada. I appreciate your good opinion.
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excellent poem
Mairi, It's clear from your writing that you take your craft very seriously, and have put a lot of careful thought and consideration into your poems. Another wonderful write!
Nevada -
excellent poem
Mairi, It's clear from your writing that you take your craft very seriously, and have put a lot of careful thought and consideration into your poems. Another wonderful write!
Nevada -
Thanks Bazza
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Beautifully and delicately written
Mairi what a vividly painted picture you built from suspense and intrigue. Very cleverly written and such a haunting melody threaded throughout because of the clever use of your imagery.
I was sorry to come to the end so abruptly, but it did leave an air of suspense and satisfaction at the same time. I liked the same lines but most of the others compared just as well in my opinion. A wonderful atmosphere that lingers ... Great work. -
Thank you bethan-gaze. I am pretty satisfied with the whole poem, but I think I like the last two lines of the first verse best.
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WONDERFUL, my friend! Just adore the imagery, the rhythm ... it's so good I could eat it! That last line is spectacular. Do you have a favourite verse/line yourself? x
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"brokeback mountain meets call of the wild" I like that analogy. I wrote it almost as an extension on my contest poem "Wedding gift" (posted immediately previous to this one). I was feeling almost maternal towards the love of my life, yet acknowledging her occasional feral response to certain things - difficult to put into words really, which is why I am so glad I have poetry. Thanks for your comments.
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It's a little brokeback mountain meets call of the wild. But I can ignore that completely and say I appreciate the loving intimacy portrayed. It sounds like a very nice place to be, in the heart of the narrarator.
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Och Jings! And Clement Moore!
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Where I live, deer come and eat our garden plants! Thanks for the compliments, Broad. This is the first time I have ever evoked a comparison with Pasternak!
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Bravo!
Wonderfully mysterious, and extremely well done as always--(perhaps a bit of Clement Moore?)Bravo! -
this is wonderful, the imagery it conveys makes the words spring to life from the page, for some reason it reminded me of Dr Zhivago?? with the fur wraps etc but also stirs a little in myself as I like nothing better than trekking through forests looking for creatures in their natural habitat, actually in Britain that tends to be looking for wild deer but while visiting canada a whole new world opens up looking for bears, wolves moose etc etc, best thing I got though was a ground hog sitting on my camp chair dipping its paw into my cracker jack pop corn, maybe that is the child in me, Broad
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Thanks for the praise, Toots. (To think I skipped breakfast - will call at the store and get some live toads)
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I hold in my arms little more than a child,
So thrilled by the moon and the call of the wild.
What a powerful ending to this poem! I think had I not read your Author's page before I read this poem, I would have had a very different take on the piece. Either way, I find the poem delightful in its own right - although that descriptor seems inadequate. You obviously have a serious talent for the well-turned phrase and for writing within the parameters of a strict meter. Excellent read. -
I am glad you like this one. It has a touch of the mysterious and dangerous to it, which (I find) children like. The meter, it now strikes me, is similar to "How they brought the good news to Ghent from Aix" - or was it the other way round?
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The meter of this poem appeals to me so much. It makes the story you tell very exciting. I shall now put this poem in my pocket for Poetry Planet. The folks who visit are getting very spoiled with your poems. This one is absolutely so very FINE! You know I like poems with horses and the outdoors and wolves and campfires and love. WOW!
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