White is plastered on walls,
And blue paints the day.
The door is half-open,
And only you stand still.
Noise surrounds the night,
As you sleep silently.
You don’t have a clue.
Only you can make this right.
Clocks and pens,
Paperclips and light,
Wait along with me
As time flies by.
I’ll never see it again
And already regret
Wasting it with you.
You didn’t care
Now I know how you feel
The balls back into my court
And I plan on playing fair
But you, no.
You cheated and lied,
Deceived and didn’t catch.
I fell and you just let me lay there
I believed all you said
And trusted the player
But you disappointed me.
You struck out.
Now I stand still,
As you’re getting ready to leave
And only time will tell the truth
Since you didnt prove
That you could prove yourself.
Author notes
Written May 4th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Now THAT'S what I am talking about.
Emotion from the soul..not from the heart, not from the pen.
Dripping from the soul, down the arm onto the dried pulp.
Well Done! I like
1) no gurly-gurl love smack talk
2) The Variety of figurative language used to say basically the same thing...without repeating!
3) you
Again, well done and go to the next level -
omg i love this! the words were so strong! This was amazing and i can totally relate. your name reminds me of my friends girlfriend, spanky. thankd for your comment.
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Very nice metaphor. While it is common to compare a relationship to a game or sport, this was done nicely and wasn't cliche.
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Simply Amazing...
"As you’re getting ready to leave
And only time will tell the truth
Since you didnt prove
That you could prove yourself."
I thought that was an amazing ending. Like the person before me I thought the metaphors were good. I found them to add a lot to this write. Thanks for sharing this, it was a pleasure to read something packed with emotion, and kick. It helps to know someone out there relates... if only a little bit.
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Like the time theme and then the sport idea at the end. Pretty good metaphors there YF. Very nice again. As I said, I think you've found your form.
Paul -
The Best
Claire!!!!
you're such a good poet it's freaking crazy!!!!! Ilove you to death!
lol
Love,
Cobbler -
Very emotional write.
I felt the pain in
your words.
Very well written.
You have talent.
Thank you for sharing.
Keep on writing.
Good job.
Jeannie D
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interestin' way of describin' ur feelings.. no swearing and blaming.. just sayin' the facts..!.. n thaz why i like it!... good job!
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i relate to the emotion behind your words.... thanks for sharing
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