A deadened leaf
falls frieghtly free
waltzing with the wind
in a weightless winteroscopy.
But I am a crinkled recipe;
a wrinkle in the rug,
a barely legible loner
buried in the dust I've dug.
You dishes do your jobs
and you napkins do yours too.
You're silent in the cupboards
while The Sleeper's silent too.
An air-conditioned catacomb,
a sweeter swig, may be...
but spruce it up as you see fit
and still a tomb she'll be.
If readers can't be choosers
then what of being read?
Does my story tell the thoughts I think,
is the blood I bleed not red?
I am a crinkled recipe.
You are a flattened slate.
I carry holes of what I can't,
you hold the roles you hate.
But I wish I was that deadened leaf
and I wish that you were dead
because I know I'd have more fun that way
and you'd be cross instead.
Author notes
refusing to be what you want me to be. alone if I must.
Written May 3rd, 2006
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Wow Greg. This is really great, but you don't need me to tell you that...
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I love how I sat here trying to analyze this piece, and then I couldn't because I have to chalk it all up to your brilliance. I can't place my finger on the tools and devices you used, or well... if I tried it'd be a waste, because this read was just purely enjoyable and need not be anything more.
I've yet to grab your book, but I definitely want to in the near future. You're beyond talented, Greg.
-- Justin -
blind ambition says it best bout the last stanza....i was raucously moved by this piece......and that paper has been on my dresser for too long now
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This poem was quite funny, yet subtly sinful as well. It was a delight to read, with all of its metaphors and its rhymes. Great shaping of your stanzas, beautiful word choice. Well done.
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A+
This is such a wonderful piece. You use different words that add to the amazing idea behind the poem. You are very talented! Thank you for sharing this.
DXS -
I love how even your author's comment had a metahpor. this poem had a very beautiful flow in it, although I feel that for some reason, there's something missing, although don't ask me what I don't know. I think it was very morose overall, and veery influential.
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Intricate word play and delicate hate.. love it x
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highly original work
PsydewaysTears, I don't know what to sat about this. This is just so original and surreal, and as you say, weird. That's why I realy enjoyed reading this. You have a very unique outlook and style that, for all it's angst, is very refreshing.
Scorpio Rising -
this is a very shocking leaf but you use such good metaphors. The ending is brilliant and brings the piece to a close perfectly, well done. This is very well written.
X tragedy X -
can understand being the one to let go and feeling like there is nothing left inside. its not easy to be the one to come to the conculsion that a relationship will not work the way it has been and not being able to make the other person see that. great write. later Honeybe
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Let me just say that the last stanza is a pitch perfect ending- wistful, snarky, and lonesome all at the same time. Great rhythm throughout, and great imagrey once again. You definitely have a way of making pictures out of things that no one else would ever think about. As always, I love the conclusions you reach.
If readers can't be choosers
Then what of being read?
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