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Last Words

If tomorrow never comes for me
The world will still go on
For those of you that love me
You'll have to carry on

I've lived a life that's full
I hope you do the same
Be happy in all you do
And smile a smile for me

For I am in god's hand now
And I take a final bow
So make this tear your last for me
And know I'm happy now

Charlie Eldridge AKA AmericanInIraq

Author notes

TO all that have lived a good life.  THis was written for my Son and Daughter when I wondered if I would ever make it home from Iraq.
Written May 3rd, 2006

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Abreadcrumbandfish
    August 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Oh I just love the last verse. You are in Gods hands. You made a comment once that you are a sinner....but it's nice to see that you have had a seed planted at one time in your life. My prayers are with you. This is a very good poem. I like it a lot. Blessings


  • TJCasser
    June 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very touching - such heartfelt and honest emotion in so few words. Thank you for sharing them with us.

  • The Pole Star
    June 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is really appriciateable! But I think I have some suggestions for you:
    "If tomorrow never comes for me
    The world will still go on
    For those of you that love me
    You'll have to carry on"

    Maybe You can rewite it as:
    "If next dawn doesn't come,
    world will still enjoy dusk!
    but, those loveing hearts,
    will hve to carry on & on"

    Then the second stanza:
    "I've lived a life that's full
    I hope you do the same
    Be happy in all you do
    And smile a smile for me"

    Maybe it is better as:
    "I have lived a full life,
    and expect same from you!
    Smile with whatever you do,
    just gift we same for last!"

    Last but not the least:
    "For I am in god's hand now
    And I take a final bow
    So make this tear your last for me
    And know I'm happy now'

    I will liek it as:
    "For I lay in mercy of god,
    and farewell my last breath!
    Twikle the last tear for me,
    for know I am satisfied now!:

    well, these are just my suggestions. Think about it, keep it or delete it


  • easily persuaded
    June 26, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful poem....you are so talented...I feel like you know how I feel....thankyou for sharing this with us


  • Celticmoon
    June 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is very beautiful! a wonderful poem indeed you have penned. Filled with deep emotion that can be felt without a doubt. Great Job!


  • americanrebel
    June 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is good next time I see you online i will edit the contest so you can enter this and after you do il close it back for only new ones this one deserves a place in the contest-William


  • Shattered- Heart
    June 22, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    love the poem I can realate to very well right now great write


  • gullionmar
    June 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    VERY WONDERFUL WRITE FOR YOUR CHILDREN,BUT YOU OUGHT TO MAKE IT A PRAYER FOR THE SOLDIERS SERVING OVER THEIR IT IS VERY BEAUTIFUL GOD BLESS YOU AND BRING YOU HOME SAFE TO AMERICA


  • Sandygram
    May 10, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    WONDERFUL POEM

    You have penned a poem full of love and emotion for your children. May God bless and keep you safe from harm. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem. Have a good and blessed day. Sandy

  • Pink Chocolate
    May 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I like this. A good right with true emotion in it. Written from the heart and I love that.


  • saffireblueangel
    May 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    good

    this is a nice poem with much feeling.i l liked it very much.


  • Cupcrazy gold member
    May 3, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is very well written and filled with emotion, your yearning for your home and family is evident but you seem to have accepted that death being evitable to at least think of the good things you had in life. I enjoyed this one and the perspective. thanks Bunny

1 - 12 of 12