Gentle thoughts I have, racing through my mind,
Of my father carrying a rope, with me right behind.
He said it would be fun, just you wait and see,
As he handed me the rope, and shimmied up the tree.
I watched him with awe, as he climbed to the limb;
Then yelled down at me, to throw the rope to him.
It took a few times, then I made a good shot,
He caught the rope, and tied some fancy knot.
He had a big grin, as he lowered from the tree;
"I'm doing this for you, as My father did for me".
He then took a tire, and tied it at it's base.
The whole time he did this, he had a smile on his face.
He lifted me up and then sat me in the tire,
Then shoved me off, while I screamed "Higher".
This was a great time, that we both shared,
I could tell, that my father really cared.
I leaped from the swing, like a bird in flight,
Then hit my head, and was out like a light.
I opened my eyes, my son stood over me.
He said "Are you OK dad? You fell from the tree".
Still dazed by my fall, he reached out his hand,
He said "I'm glad you're OK, let me help you stand".
Even for just a moment, I traveled to my past,
It's a memory well cherished, forever it will last.
I then took my son and set him in the tire,
And gave him a good push; he yelled "Higher".
With a smile on my face, he'll remember the fun,
As I pass on the tradition, between father and son.
.
Author notes
Option #2
Written May 3rd, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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I hope part of the tradition was not falling from the tree. lol This one brought back wonderful memories. Yes, girls had tire swings, too. Wonderful story poem with family values. Great job. God bless.
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The rhyme is outstanding and I love the whole story. I love tradition that can be passed on from parent to child. It was such a beautiful write.
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Such a lovely impartment
Wow, what great rhyme choices you have here! Everything flows right along in perfect beauty and doesn't make me wonder, 'well, that was a little forced' at all, not even in one line. I felt very relaxed and subtle with your admitting of no harsh ideas, but just what would be kind. That, I believe, should be for everybody, and interesting enough it's a public feeling. A lot of excitement when a child follows in interest. I can really relate to, "He said it would be fun, just you wait and see," my dad frequently uses that phrase when I'm doubting something because I don't know the full details he has in mind yet.
Nice opening in line number five, graciousness over having range of achievement past our being afraid, not really nearly show a uniqueness only for one person. I smiled at the use of "limb" for the tree strength. Your next three lines contain so much laughter, father-son involvement and back and forth amazement. There is no downgrading for not being able to aim it correctly the first time like you're taking too long... I can hear 'keep trying, keep trying, keep trying!'
Every stanza, I cannot ignore. So touching to give a reminder that he doesn't just want his little boy to standby him in a project of his own, to see what happens. I think it may be called Loving Moments even if the daddy has other things to do, he spends a little time off or makes it involved. This line, "I'm doing this for you, as My father did for me" mainly moved me into that sentiment. Also reminds me of paying it forward like with contests, but in this case it's done out of care instead of 'should.' Kept up the emotions true to say.
"Then shoved me off" has a different pondering needed to not be taken rudely. Ahhh, yes, in the sense of the swing that is the greatest thing you could want sometimes even if you know how to do it yourself, at least once. Just to hear and feel the push makes me use a full dozen muscles to giggle. Pausing for a minute in the next stanza, I notice it might be a bit sadder than I thought and you also changed the performance of "I." However, you used some beautiful metaphors with right away help that settles me.
The ending four lines remind me of what you said before, but I liked it because it reinforces a wonderful memory to be done again with the smile.
Well written, heartfelt, and it stands out as a children's book to me!
PIA-K -
What a wonderful story. You had me right there beside you. Thanks so much for the visit and good luck in the contest.
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beautiful... my dad hurt me a couple of times unintentionally but it was always the fun things we were doing at the time i rememeber... he dislocated my shoulder when i was about two swinging me around and another time burst my finger in the door but that was going out to find a christmas tree. accidents happen but the special times remain.
hugs,
georgie,
xxx -
great active verbs
Great use of active verbs, snippets of actual dialogue. Piece has a good rhythm and the rhymes are not too sing songing, but create the movement of a swing. -
aww, that is so sweet,, i actually wish my dad was like that..but tough luck. anyways thank you so much for sharing. great, beautiful, and very sweet write as usual. thank you -elena
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Aww... so lovely and cute! I love to see fathers who cherish their children, and a bond between father and son is a special thing!!
This is how a family should be!! Great writing!!
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that is really cool. you scared me at first, but thats what made it Reall good..
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You have such a way with words. Beautifully done!
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Awesome!
I have only read about 3 of your poems now but I have to tell you, you are one of my favorite authors here on this site. You have an amazing talent for poetry and your rhyming always flows. I can only dream to come even close to writing poetry like you. Keep up the great work. Thanks for sharing with us those sweet memories too between father and son.
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beautiful
Memories are so special. Again, your love and respect
really shines through in this one. I like your style.
Darlee77
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aww Gary this gave me goosebumps, its nice that you are passing your traditions that your father had given to you along to your own son, thats one thing we remember when our parents pass is the memories they had given us that we can now pass down to our own children, same thing with me and my son my mother raised us alone and her traditions I now find myself passing down to my own son, we always need to keep those traditions going you did a great job here your rhythm and rhyme flowed beautifully I can tell this was written with alot of emotion and straight from your heart your a wonderful writter Gary I look forward to reading more of your work I had added you to my favorites
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Memories like this are priceless.
Excellent poem i might add
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Awwww! Gary, what poignance in your sharing. I am glad I stopped in this morning!
The treasures of father and son...you leave my heart smiling! Klassy Happy summer!
Edited on Jun 17, 12:27 because ''. -
A very pleasant and enjoyable poem. However, I'm not sure "gentle" is quite the right word to begin.
Edited on Jun 10, 7:16 because ''. -
Awe, that was really sweet. I enjoyed the read a lot too.
It kind of puts you in this heart touching moment, like bring your past back to life. I loved it, good write!
Michelle -
This is cool! What a wonderful story that you have written here between a father and his son. I love the imagery and the way that you put this together. A great write all around. Thanks for sharing it!
Allen0826 -
this is really cute. it's nice to travel into the past once in a while and then come back to only see yourself in another's eyes. you went to the past when you fell from the tree and saw your father doing the same thing that you were doing for your son. then, when you opened your eyes, you saw yourself in your son's eyes....when you were his age. this is really a good write and so true. when you look into your child's eyes, you sometimes see yourself at their age. i'm going to open my contest up for pre-writes. please enter this into it. i really enjoyed this.
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Very nicely done! Your poem flows with beautiful rhyme and rhythm. Your story is well describes and enjoyable to read. This is a lovely tender memory that is carved in time in your mind and in this delightful poem. Well done!
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very beautiful post here, love the artistic creativity in this, a great tradition to hand down, loved this and smiled as I read word to word.. thank you for sharing and good luck..
Linda -
great write and so sweet
wonderfully written. we all yearn for our childhood and our parents'love and the security they provided us. sweet sweet tradition you painted here. very well written. beautiful words and beautiful memories.
thank you for sharing it. -
Childhood memories are really wonderful and the memories like this one always a pleasure to remember.
Looking forward to reading more dear brother.
Shahrzad
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A wonderful poem ... as always! I love the way you mix present and past! It's really well done and gives a sort of legend to the poem as we understand this tradition goes on and on.
Well done
~~sealover~~ -
this was a really cute poem! very whimsicle and memorable. and as before, the ending is always twisted (in a good way of course!)so that it will completely take the reader of guard. i absolutely love your work so keep it up!
always,
lovesmassacre<3 -
U know i love this, as i always do. I love your endings, I am trying lol but never as good as yours. Keep up the good work!!
Emily -
awwwwwwwwwwwww this is so special. a father love is something to always hold on to, nothing like it. this is really sweet. i lost my dad 1 & 1/2 years ago and i will always remember everytime this i spent with him and all the love that was shared. this poem is really beautiful. i loved it a lot.
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Had one of these at our acreage years ago for the grandkids - they loved it and I can just see you in the lines you have written in this poem. Very easy to read and understand. Such a lovely time between father and son.
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loved it
made me want to go and give my dad a hug this is wondrful -
Love it
I love this, it really captures the power of childhood experiences by dwelling in a simple clean perfect sort of moment The simple almost nursery rhyme voice furthers this innocent perspective -
I love this-- very nice. Loving. reminds me of the time my step-daughtet was trying to throw the rope for the swing over the tree limb and counldn't get it, so she tied a hammer to it, threw it, and it came back and hit her in the head. She was fine so we still tease her.
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AHHHHH!!!how beautiful and sad.I LOVED it!What a amazing poem.You did a fabulous job.Really..one of the most amazing poems Ive ever read.Its beautiful emotion and alot of love that came out of it.Keep up the great writing.
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AWESOME
Awww sweet Driftwood my friend, as always you put a smile upon my face. The rythmn and flow of this piece was terrific. As I knew it would be. SO much talent my freind, do me a favor and never stop penning.
God Bless
Victoria -
Wonderful piece, great flow and feel. The rhytem and rhyme are perfect and the story and message is truly wonderful. Very uplifting piece, enjoyed it so much! Keep your pen forever flowing!
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Wow this is so cute, and very thoughtful. Its nice to have some fond memories such as that. I guess my fav one with my father would have been going to the ross park zoo.Id applaud hon but im out. So ill come back okay. How old is your son, must be about my age
lol just messin. love ya
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