Sometimes, I fight for fun,
a raging hate for me, somewhere within you,
rises up and suddenly your eyes are there,
fierce and fervent, pushing me into the ground.
I smirk; I mold you to my every desire
and you fall every time
every goddamn time.
Hours later, you understand
that I merely worship you, us, this
And the sweat from the small of your back,
wet and hot as we lie naked
is proof - a liquid lust -
that everything will be okay.
Author notes
feedback is lovely
Written May 3rd, 2006
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nice write here Christy it had a nice flow to it
< 3 -
Good
Ahhh...the classic enemies-turned-lovers-but-still-enemies plot. I, personally, love this idea, no matter how cliched it may be. Aren't all ideas really more or less cliched when you think about it? Anywho, back to your poem. I love the cunning and the deviousness of the whole thing. Beautiful work.
Edited on May 04, 9:27 p.m. because 'My grammar sucked monkey balls'. -
'mold' not sure but that might be 'mould'. Otherwise, there seems to be a lot of these poems features today, and I think this one portrays the violence of lust particularly well, a violence that the poem insinuates arises from a hatred of anything deeper than the skin. It is well written in that it conveys an active, living rage for each other and what the relationship has become, and that rather than be happy with such a rlationship, it is instead fuel to perpetuate the aggression within the reltionship. I'm not sure I've just said what I meant, it gets a bit confusing when I ramble. Basically, a very good, strong living write. Well done.
Avian xx -
interesting...very interesting... and a cool write... liked how it flowed easily...peace to you..and mroe good inks...shzoosy
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Very nicely done!
Oh yes...I like this...very sensual write detailing how you ignite the fiery fury within then bend it to your will..forcing it to emerge as a raging inferno of passion until sated with the heat of blazing love!...very nicely done!...regards Dan
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